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Going round in circles and need advise
Hi guys I'd really appreciate some advise and your opinions..I am going round in circles with my partner trying to discuss starting a family but it's just making me more and more frustrated.
My side of the story is: we have been together for nearly 8 years (I'm 27 and he is 33). I left my career in London to move to the country and start my own business which is going well but is not bringing in the income I need yet, however I 100% know it will within the next few months. So I'm lucky in the sense I work for myself as and when I choose.??
I am now so ready to start a family- that huge desire has grown and grown and that's really all I want now for the next chapter of my life. Because I have a lot of time on my hands I literally feel as though I'm wasting time now and feeling like I'm a bit lost and empty , as all I now want is to be a Mum.??
My partner's view is that he too would love a family but he is much more 'realistic' (I'm the positive one that always finds a way). He says we can't afford it yet (he works full time but won't believe it until he sees it regarding my businesses income and being able to rely on that too) and when answering my explanation on feeling lost and feeling we are just wasting time, he honestly can't understand why a new hobby wouldn't fix that urge I ??have! I think he thinks I just want a baby to fill my days, whereas obviously it's so much more than that and my point of view is if I have this spare time, why not get on with what I'd love to do? He's not getting any younger, we would both love to adopt after having our own and I desperately don't want my parents to be 'elderly' grandparents so time is really precious to me.??
I just feel like we are going round in circles with me saying 'we will make it work, it WILL be fine' and him saying 'no it won't we have got to wait until everything is perfectly in place'??
Am I being irresponsible or selfish by having the attitude that I know it will be ok? and is it common for us to have that 'it will be fine attitude' with the men thinking we are being totally irrational?!??
Thanks
My side of the story is: we have been together for nearly 8 years (I'm 27 and he is 33). I left my career in London to move to the country and start my own business which is going well but is not bringing in the income I need yet, however I 100% know it will within the next few months. So I'm lucky in the sense I work for myself as and when I choose.??
I am now so ready to start a family- that huge desire has grown and grown and that's really all I want now for the next chapter of my life. Because I have a lot of time on my hands I literally feel as though I'm wasting time now and feeling like I'm a bit lost and empty , as all I now want is to be a Mum.??
My partner's view is that he too would love a family but he is much more 'realistic' (I'm the positive one that always finds a way). He says we can't afford it yet (he works full time but won't believe it until he sees it regarding my businesses income and being able to rely on that too) and when answering my explanation on feeling lost and feeling we are just wasting time, he honestly can't understand why a new hobby wouldn't fix that urge I ??have! I think he thinks I just want a baby to fill my days, whereas obviously it's so much more than that and my point of view is if I have this spare time, why not get on with what I'd love to do? He's not getting any younger, we would both love to adopt after having our own and I desperately don't want my parents to be 'elderly' grandparents so time is really precious to me.??
I just feel like we are going round in circles with me saying 'we will make it work, it WILL be fine' and him saying 'no it won't we have got to wait until everything is perfectly in place'??
Am I being irresponsible or selfish by having the attitude that I know it will be ok? and is it common for us to have that 'it will be fine attitude' with the men thinking we are being totally irrational?!??
Thanks
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Replies
What we did was save like mad to have an emergency money cushion. Maybe your OH would be open to discussing saving up for a baby with a target amount to get to before you start trying? The added bonus is that you learn what you can do without before you have to give it up. Once you get pregnant you can put what was your monthly saving amount towards baby stuff.
It's worked for us.
Good luck!