Husband says he can't take any more of my laziness and rejection
Hi,
Apologies in advance if I go off on a rant. I just would love to hear from anyone who has faced a similar situation..
Basically, I had a big showdown last night with the hubby which resulted in me sleeping on the sofabed.
I'm 14 weeks pregnant and have been suffering with nausea, vomitting and fatigue since week 6. While my symptoms are not as severe as HG my daily life is affected and when I'm not at work, I spend a lot of time resting or sleeping. This means my husband has been taking care of 90% of the housework and up until last night has accepted this temporary extra work. I always show my gratitude and am usually an active person and make sure household chores are shared equally. Anyway, last night he told me off for 'becoming lazy' and said he was tired of doing everything in the house.
On top of that he said that he wanted to buy another bed because he was tired of being rejected by me. I haven't been able to be physically close to him because I feel like puking when I smell his breath and hugging is really uncomfortable for me right now.
He also accused me of delibetately kicking him in bed to push him further away....
Anyway, I tried to talk calmly to him but he kept interrupting me and speaking in an aggressive tone and in the end I decided to have a peaceful night on the sofabed.
He's still mad now, 24 hours later and I'm going to sleep on the sofabed again.
I feel furious and also victimized.
We were on the verge of divorce until 6 months ago because of his emotional abuse, we made huge steps forward thanks to a great therapist but now I'm wondering how stupid I am and what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Any advice appreciated!!!
Replies
Well shame on your husband! That's no way to treat a pregnant woman at all, I bet your hurt by this!
seems to me that if he isn't being under standing now then he's not going to be at all, is there more going on to contribute to his outburst?
as for the house hold chores as tiring as it is it still needs to be done unfortunately, I work full time, look after a 19 month old and on top of that I'm 12 weeks pregnant so I understand the meaning of sick and tired lol! Only tip I have is clean as you go so it dosnt get on top of you, my partner works nights so I do everything! Our laundry builds up fast and washing basket is always over flowing, it annoys my partner but as I Keep telling him...You know where the washing machine is lol he thinks that because he cleans the whole house on his day off that I don't do anything, he forgets what I started above(work full time, have child ect) so I do as much as I can...and after a 6am wake up call, mad dash to drop son off, 9 hour shift, collect son, bath and bed him, eat my tea the LAST thing I want to do I start doing flipping cleaning! I do that 10 days in a row then get 4 days off.
next....one thing I truly understand! Not wanting to be touched when pregnant....I want to sleep not have sex! I can manage a snuggle but then I want him as far away from me as possabile. If I want sex I'll ask for it, with my first pregnancy we didn't have sex for 11 months and we've had sex more this pregnancy then we did last time. I want it but not often...so it's on my terms.
not really sure what to suggest as he seems the type that dosnt listen....we're hear if you need a good moan
x
Thanks for the advice & understanding Supersquish!
I think another thing that has contributed to his outburst is the fact that I don't trust the doctor we are seeing 100% because she isn't fully committed to a natural intervention-free birth. I always ask lots of questions and request statistics on risks (when the doctor warns us about a risk, I want to know the size of the risk so I can make informed decisions). This pisses hubby off big time.
Hi I think that wen he is in a good mood u should talk to him and tell him that is not easy for u neither to be vomiting and bening tired that u try but it's hard tell him to be in ur shoos. He must of know what pregnet women go through for 9 months he need to be more pashon