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God im so over him but still with him

I've been in this relationship for 12 years.

He is emotionally abusive has been for the whole relationship.

in the early days he would be jealous of any male friends was very controlling and always thought I was having affairs with anyone and everyone. Would always want to know everything conversations I had a work comment on clothes if he thought they were too revaling. List goes on and on.

He has always been explosive says some disgusting things to me tells me to f**k off has called me a c**nt called me fat and I am size 10. One time he even said a degrading comment in front of my 9 year old about my vagina being loose. All of these things he says when he is angry about something I have said or done any it could be anything really.

when people meet him they think he is nice charming and friendly. No one would know how crap this relationship is and how crazy I must be to be in it.

I have told people some of what he has said but not the amount and how much and long this this has been going on for.

I don't t people as I know they will say why stay are you crazy??

obviously he is not a monster 24/7 that's why I stay and sometimes I think it is so hard to leave. I could finmanically support myself but I still stay. How much is enough???

I just wish I had the courage to move on and leave him.

any tips on how people have got the courage to just leave ?

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