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Seriously fed up help!!

So I have been with my partner for a considerably long time 10+ years. I am expected to do everything. I drop the kids to school, drop the kids to all of their activities, help with their homework, pay all the bills, clean the house, do the washing and manage the household. My partner works for 5 hours at night but can't really contribute to the household. He has just taken up a course during the day but I am expected to do all of his course work and literally organise him. All the while working full time. Today I was unwell, I normally go to church on Sunday's with the kids. I slept in as I was unwell. I mentioned this to him in the morning. He then woke up and stated that as no one is going to make him breakfast he will need to do it himself. I ignored him and went back to sleep. He was really huffy about it. He proceeded to make himself something to eat. Later that evening he made himself dinner and left a tiny bit of food for the kids. It could have fed 1 child no more. When I told him that it was annoying that he always cooked for himself under the guise of cooking for us. He got mad and stated "that he felt like a women in the house". He started to slam doors and got very aggressive. To a point that the kids started to cry as they thought that he might get aggressive. 

Recently he went away, he gets paid for the work that he does and as he was away he did not get paid. This means that I have had to pay for him to get to work. I feel like I have another child not a partner. We are not sexually active due to my religion. We are not married so I am not allowed to do anything until we get married. I have not been sexually active for about 2+ years and there are no signs of that happening. I want to move on with my life without him. I have lost really good friends due to him as they have mentioned that they cannot bear to be around because he is so wicked to me. I just want to leave but every time I ask him to go, he mentions that he has no where to go. Please help

Replies

  • Im so sorry your stuck in such an awful situation. My last relationship was exactly the same and whenever I tried to address the issue it would cause a major fight and somehow I was always left feeling as though it was all my fault and all in my head. TOXIC relationship, and that's exactly what yours sounds to be, toxic! Every relationship has its struggles but when the down times far outweigh the high times it's a great indicator that it's time to walk away. Sadly I didn't until he was unfaithful more times than I can count and actually had a girlfriend. I can tell you now that it is SO worth it! is it easy? Absolutely not, hardest decision I have literally ever had to make. And sadly it wont be easy on the kids either but your happiness and theirs will grow daily. If he has no where to go then he needs to appreciate what he has and get off his selfish arse. No one can tell you what to do or how to do it but there will be so many people to be there to support you and you will be better off without the constant stress and exhaustion. Whatever happens just remember that you are responsible for your own happiness and if your unhappy then you and only you can do something to change that. Best of luck to you, I hope you find happiness soon, we only have once chance to live this life so we need to make it a beautiful one!

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