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Baby daddy dilemma
Hi ladies,
I’m due my first child in just 4 days now! Getting nervous!!
But my post today is about my baby’s dad.
We were not in a relationship when I fell pregnant.
I told him as soon as I got a positive test and he blocked my number and everything. A few weeks later he unblocked me and messaged saying he was sorry and he wanted to be involved.
I told him I wouldn’t stop him from being involved but he had to make an effort which he said he would.
i never heard from him again.
I would send scan dates, appointment dates. I didn’t get a single message or phone call back. So I stopped trying. Why should I make an effort instead of taking care of myself!!
anyway!
2 days ago (6DAYS BEFORE MY DUE DATE!!)
i get a message through social media, from the father, telling me again how he is sorry and how he wants to be involved now and how he’s finally told his parents and they want to meet me before I give birth and he’s demanding to be at the hospital when I give birth despite my birthing plan already set!
I would never deny my child the chance to know her father, but I’m just struggling how to deal with him popping back up now. How am I meant to trust he won’t disappear again!
I don’t want my child to form a bond with him then he turns his back again!
Trying not to stress over it and keep everything zen over the next few days but it’s really playing on my mind and I really don’t know what to do!
Any help or advise from you ladies?
I’m due my first child in just 4 days now! Getting nervous!!
But my post today is about my baby’s dad.
We were not in a relationship when I fell pregnant.
I told him as soon as I got a positive test and he blocked my number and everything. A few weeks later he unblocked me and messaged saying he was sorry and he wanted to be involved.
I told him I wouldn’t stop him from being involved but he had to make an effort which he said he would.
i never heard from him again.
I would send scan dates, appointment dates. I didn’t get a single message or phone call back. So I stopped trying. Why should I make an effort instead of taking care of myself!!
anyway!
2 days ago (6DAYS BEFORE MY DUE DATE!!)
i get a message through social media, from the father, telling me again how he is sorry and how he wants to be involved now and how he’s finally told his parents and they want to meet me before I give birth and he’s demanding to be at the hospital when I give birth despite my birthing plan already set!
I would never deny my child the chance to know her father, but I’m just struggling how to deal with him popping back up now. How am I meant to trust he won’t disappear again!
I don’t want my child to form a bond with him then he turns his back again!
Trying not to stress over it and keep everything zen over the next few days but it’s really playing on my mind and I really don’t know what to do!
Any help or advise from you ladies?
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Replies
Firstly well done for trying not to get stressed and also for keeping the door open. My advice is give him a chance. His family may actually be really supportive and could be a great part of your babys life. And if you meet them and dont get on you have lost nothing. Pregnancy is a strange thing for men tbey often find it hard to bond with something they can not see touch or feel so if you are ok with it give him the chance to meet your child. At least then you can honestly say you have tried
In terms of the hospital i think you are right to want to stick to your birth plan. Maybe offer him a compromise of allowing him to come but not be on labour ward. Or if you are comfortable with him being there and you are allowed more than one partner consider it. But your the one giving birth so you need to feel happy.
Whatever you do you need to sit down and talk. Explain to him that you only have a few days left and already have plans but if he is flexible you can come up with a plan. Meeting his parents before baby is born could be stressful to organise so maybe suggest that you are happy to do tjis but would rather have the baby first.
Whatever happens you should be proud of yourself for leaving the door open so many people dont and at least whatever happens you can honestly say yo your child that you tried!