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Need advice re my 3yr old!
Hello. I'm hoping someone can help me!
I am struggling with my 3yr old's behaviour. She just turned 3 last month. It seems that she will play nicely with other children but then after a while she will suddenly shove them, snatch toys away and seem quite aggresive and is often worse with younger kids. If i ask her why she did that her reply is always 'i don't want to tell you'.
We did have our second baby in March but i don't think this is the reason as she has pretty much always been like this. We had problems with her biting other kids at around 15mths and she often seems quite angry. We have tried various techniques of discipline including the naughty step but although this works at the time, it doesn't stop her doing it again and i feel like i'm in a never ending cycle with her.
I've always taken her to toddler group and various other activities and classes but she has never been to nursery and doesn't start pre-school until September. Do you think this could be the problem?
Other days she is so loving but as she hasn't grasped the concept of 'personal space' yet so she annoys her friends by trying to hold hands, cuddle, kiss and generally get 'too close'. When they reject her she gets frustrated and 'lashes out'.
She has never had a problem socially with spending time with other adults or children older than her - just ones of the same age or younger.
We are always telling her we love her, having cuddles, she tells us she loves us and her home life is very stable so i don't know where we have gone wrong and why she seems so angry. I'm worried that she will end up with no friends when she starts preschool if i don't get to the bottom of it soon.
Any advice would be very much appreciated!
Claire x
I am struggling with my 3yr old's behaviour. She just turned 3 last month. It seems that she will play nicely with other children but then after a while she will suddenly shove them, snatch toys away and seem quite aggresive and is often worse with younger kids. If i ask her why she did that her reply is always 'i don't want to tell you'.
We did have our second baby in March but i don't think this is the reason as she has pretty much always been like this. We had problems with her biting other kids at around 15mths and she often seems quite angry. We have tried various techniques of discipline including the naughty step but although this works at the time, it doesn't stop her doing it again and i feel like i'm in a never ending cycle with her.
I've always taken her to toddler group and various other activities and classes but she has never been to nursery and doesn't start pre-school until September. Do you think this could be the problem?
Other days she is so loving but as she hasn't grasped the concept of 'personal space' yet so she annoys her friends by trying to hold hands, cuddle, kiss and generally get 'too close'. When they reject her she gets frustrated and 'lashes out'.
She has never had a problem socially with spending time with other adults or children older than her - just ones of the same age or younger.
We are always telling her we love her, having cuddles, she tells us she loves us and her home life is very stable so i don't know where we have gone wrong and why she seems so angry. I'm worried that she will end up with no friends when she starts preschool if i don't get to the bottom of it soon.
Any advice would be very much appreciated!
Claire x
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Replies
Joe turned 3 last month too and we also had baby no 2 in March. We've had similar problems with him, he'll play happily til something doesn't go his way and then he'll snatch and start shouting or screaming. I've found that talking to him beforehand and explaining what's acceptable and what's not and that if he doesn't stick to this then I'll bring him back to sit in the car til he cools down works really well as does a little (cheap!!) treat like a trip to the park if he's good.
He been doing two mornings a week at nursery and since then he's improved no end, seems to have grasped the concept of sharing much better! Is there a pre-school near you (cheaper than nursery lol!) that she could go to one morning a week til she starts pre-school?
I can't wait for 22nd Sept when Joe starts going 5 mornings a week, he looks so grown up in his uniform that it brings tears to my eyes though!!
Good Luck,
Zoe
xx
Mummyx5 - She does have a good level of communication skills and now you mention it, she does tend to assume that any child that can walk should be able to communicate at the same level verbally with her as well. When i tell her 'he/she's only a baby' she replies 'no he's not he's big like me'. She talks for England and dominates conversations so perhaps she is getting frustrated because she thinks they are ignoring her whereas in fact they just can't get a word in edgeways!
Zoe - She can't start pre-school until September because they didn't have room for her beforehand. I think she is definately ready to start though. Everyone else says she is good as gold so i don't know whether she just plays up for me or whether they are just being polite! lol! Hopefully she will be put in her place once she starts preschool. I take her to toddler group but again she can be quite bolshy but i wonder if that is because i have to stay with her!
I shall def try taking her out to the car if she starts again. I normally remove her from the room for the naughty step after one warning but like i've already said, it works at the time but doesn't stop her doing it again the next week.
Thank you both again for your replies. It is very much appreciated!
Claire x