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hi all

hi everyone,

i have never posted in this forum b4 so hi my names vicky and im mum to summer who is going to be 1 year onl in 4 days!!!

so this is my story.....

when i became pg my oh(kirk) sort of changed we stopped going out he would be on his ps3 until 5am he did nothing round the house, he wasnt interested in my bump didnt like to feel summer kicking etc i often posted about him in pg forum and talked to friends etc about his behaviour and was always told he will change when the baby arrives and he realises its a real lil person... well he never did, even during the birth he kept leaving me to go for fags, food etc.

when summer arrived i had a 3rd degree tear, stitches etc but i did everything changed all nappies, did all night feeds, everything to do with summer i did i dont think he even held her just carried on playing his ps3 etc i even did all housework, cooking etc i was in agony!!

when he went back to work i just got used to it all i would look after summer all day do all housework and then cook dinner etc he did nothing if fact we really didnt see him he would just get up and go to work then wouldnt get home til 10pm then i would just go to bed coz he was straight on his ps3 so didnt see the point of staying up lol

then at xmas i was getting really fed up with it all he says he had done his back in and was just sat on the sofa all day long he would only get up to go bed ot toilet and was barking orders at me to make him food.

we were at his mums xmas day and i hated every second of it summer was teething badly it was her top ones coming through and she was in a lot of pain i had looked after her all day and then she screamed all night and he just ignored her and me saying he couldnt do anything because of his back,

so boxing day we went to my mums and the whole family were there and kirk brought his ps3 with him!! he just plugged it in and was sat there all day payed summer no attention and everyone noticed how lazy he was and how tired i was.

then the next day he decided he had to buy a 42" wide screen so my mum looked after summer and we went to lakeside to get it and i couldnt believe my eyes when he actually lifted the tv into the car!!!!

well that was when i knew i couldnt do it anymore, i just though he was a lying lazy selfish bastard!!!

so on the 4th jan i went to my mums with summer and i just broke down and told her how i was feeling and how broken i felt and to my suprise my whole family said look vic hes lazy a crap dad and u dont need him. so i stayed at my mums that night and went back home the next day while my mum looked after summer and i just told him i wanted him to leave, he broke down said he was going to kill himself blah blah blah

anyway since this has happened i know i have made the right choice, him and his mates have written shit about me on facebook, he turns up hours late to have summer, ive had his mum screaming down the phone at me saying my poor lil boy etc he is messing me and the csa around etc he is such a loser!!

but this is my problem everytime he does come and see summer (rare) he just picks a fight with me he says i need help and that im mental lol yeah right!!
i usually just close the door on him because coz i dont want to arge in front of summer but then he shouts through my letter box and punches my front door.

summe rhas finally bonded with his as i made him have her for 2 night last weekend as my bro was running the london marathon and i wanted to go, and he came to take her to the park during the week so only spent an hour with him at the most and she was really upset when he dropped her off and ive tried and tried to get him to see her more but he wont so she sees him for about an hour a week.

ive kinda given up trying but i want to make sure i do all i can so at least i can tell summer when shes older that i tried.....

if u have got this far well done and thankyou xxx


  • Aw Vicky poor you but it seems there are alot of these so called "dads" out there.My ex being one of them!He too brands me a "physco" and says im trying to ruin his life ect..all because i wont let him do whatever ther hell he wants...I expect him to be there when he has his son once a week for 5hrs,not leae within an hour of his son getting dropped off to go to the pub!!!I only know this because my mum drove past the pub and saw him stood outside,later my nephew saw him in takeout shop....but I then get nasty emails saying my family are spying on him an we have a consiperacy agaisnt him!I do wonder quite WHO is supposed to be the one with problems here!!!??? lol
    He is refusing to answer or reply to any of CSAs phonecalls or letters so im presently not receiving a penny..and have not done for over a year!
    He has now not seen his son for almost 6wks...and Im just left wondering what is going to hppen in the future?is this it now?He was great at talking the talk to other people who didnt realy know,about how he missed his son so much he could not sleep ect.....Hmmmm!
    Im loathe to post to much on here and usually use other forums ect...because I know he knows I have used BE in the past and has copied my posts in emails to me trying to say im slandering him!
    Chin up hun,you are not alonex
  • Awk vicky that really sucks!!

    Im a single parent to and i know how hard it is. I was with my ex for 7 months when i fell pregnant tho he had been beating me for those 7 months. I finally got the courage to leave him when i realised i was pregnant. Then when i was about 4 months i got a phone call sayin that he wasnt the babys dad and that i had been with millions of other men which i hadnt.... i had a brick put threw my window and my car wreaked. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby and i havent recieved a penny of him the whole time. But who needs men who are complete waste of space!!

    You are not alone but we are all coping ok!! Things could always be worse

    Jen xx
  • i think all you girls are amazing!!! the crap we put up with!!! its summers 1st birthday today and she saw her dad for an hour. its his loss!!

    im going to do her a video of just me talking to explain everything to her and when she is older say 16/18 if her dad is no longer in her life i can show her the video to sort of prove that ive tried my hardest to get him to be a dad to her.

    single mums really are the best xxxx

    p.s jenn1e my heart goes out to u hunni well done for being so so so brave, obviously u are in a much much better place without that a-hole now xxx

    benjismummy - i know that kirk has seen my posts but i dont care anymore he stopped commenting about them when i had had enough of him reading them so i did a post in born in june 08 basicly telling him to f off and all the other girls posted saying the same as me and i never heard anything else about it lol
  • Hi again Vicky.
    I was going to do something similar for Ben,a letter explaining everything so if need be I could give it to him when he was older.but I do think that time will explain tings just as well,Ben will see much more clearly when he is older just how little his dad did for him.
    Though of course there is always the remote possibilility that his dad will grow up and sort imself out one day!but nt while his mother is wiping his ass and believing all his lies!lol
    That about your post made me laugh!Awhile back I did a post on another forum I use and my ex found it and had the cheek to join so he could tell his side on my post..luckily all the other girls told him where to go lol....God knows how he always finds these things....then says IM spying ON HIM!
    Wishing you all the best x
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