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I'm a single dad but unsure what to do

Dave ODave O
in Single parents
Hi me and my ex Partner split up after 10 years together we Have a 6 year old daughter , she lives me a new partner who is a ex drug addict , I have a few questions , no one has full custody of our daughter she stays with us both but I'm not happy with my daughter staying there , we only split up 3 months ago, my ex partner walked out on us and never contacted me for 5days , she moved in with him, I don't have there address so don't know where my daughter is when she's with them, I've been awarded the child benefit but should I stop my daughter staying there over night as I'd like full custody , it's all so complicated ,

Replies

  • KazzieMKazzieM

    Hi Dave, sorry to hear of your difficult situation.

    Whilst things may be awkward between you both as parents each of you have a duty of care to your daughter which includes informing the other parent of her whereabouts at all times (what if something were to happen to you & you needed to let her mother know, you can't if you don't have her details).

    I respect that you may disapprove of your ex's choice of where she now lives & whom she is introducing your daughter too but sadly denying her access rights to your daughter at present will only make things harder down the road (if you can prove you've been a cooperative parent showing the better interests of your daughter seeing both her parents it comes across better than a parent keeping child at home).

    Your ex may well be aware you are considering custody applications which may be why she is not providing an address (solicitors can't contact her without it) so you will need to work on assuring her that you need the details to ensure your daughter's needs are met (in case of emergency as previous mentioned).

    The only other thing I could suggest would be the pair of you talking things through with a mediator.  It is something you would need to convince her was a good idea but the two of you having a chance to air you views in front of an independant 3rd party & agreeing on how to move on will benefit both of you.  Best wishes.

  • jenny bakerjenny baker
    Sorry to hear about your situation my ex spilt with year while i was pregant for another woman for the first few weeks we arranged contact at my mums place as i knew his partner was doing stuff what he shouldn't of been doing along with his girlfriend at the time its only recently since April he has been having his son on his own as ge has cleared up his act . He hasn't asked yet about having him over night just yet he has 2/3times a week he always lets me no where he is and what he is doing your ex should always tell you she is its called mutal respect and knowing the wear abouts of youre child just on case anything happens hope it gets sorted soon x
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