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Ex partner refusing to pay maintenance

Hi, hoping someone can give me abit of advice. Myself & my sons dad split up when I was 32 weeks pregnant, he cheated on me. Since my sons been born he's provided nearly every week, missing a few. the past 5 weeks he hasn't provided maintenance for my son, next week he'll owe me £180 in maintenance but because I get certain benefits he think he shouldnt provide for his son As he has bills to pay. Iv asked for my money enough times and the response I get is I haven'it got it, or I've for bills to pay. Iv said if he can't provide for our son then I will stop contact, which he doesn't think is fair, but why should he have the privelidge to see him if he can't provide. Last Friday he went to a wedding & got drunk - fair enough. The Saturday was his day to see pure son but never bothered to get in touch & tell me he didn't want to see him, instead he went to his girlfriends moms house then to a BBQ with friends Instead of seeing our son, I rang and text for an explanation but still havent got one. he used to see our son on a Monday & Wednesday night, but never bothered to ask to see him or arrange times to pick him up. he doesn't seem interested in our son, the novelty seems to have worn off. I get income support, if I was to tell them my sons father isn't giving us money, would they give me extra or would I have to go CSA. My sons dad is a labourer and doesn't pay tax as it's cash in hanD. Have no idea what to do image 


  • i would say its best to go to CSA, he obviously isnt going to give you any money out of choice, tho only thing is that if his earnings aren't declared (which they aren't as he isnt paying tax) is that you will only get a very small amount of money from him- but this is better than what you are currently getting. Even if he does not have contact with your son he will still need to pay you, any money you get from him through CSA will not affect any of your benefits so you might as well give it a go, best of luck

    Dolly xx

  • Having a chat with CSA sounds like the best bet here.  You may not receive a lot (it depends upon his earnings) but if necessary CSA can go via his employers to ensure you receive the support you deserve.

  • hi lauren x 

    i was in the same pisition, me and my ex split when my son was 1 hes now  5, he ysed to see him min wed and fri overnight, got a gf and cut contact down gradualy he now onky sees him 2hrs a mon and ivernight friday x i think when some men get new gfs all attention shifts to them but hel realise it soon enough dont worry same as my ex did and knew he was missjng out on my son frowing. he aswrll is a labourer and doesnt di anythibg threw the books, if u even mention csa to yr ex hel be scared and pay up as no doubt hel get himself and employer in a geap of trouble for didling the tax man! i get benifits too but you are entitled to them the money ur ex pays for ur son isnt included in that regardless wether he has contact with ur son or not u are entitled by law for maintinance from him   go in the csa website and use the calculator to work out how much he should br giving u a montb, send him the detaild from the csa website which will show ur seroous abiyt goung that far and see what he does x i bet he pays up no wuestions asked! good luck hun xx

  • hiyahhhhh my sister went through the exact same! he cheated on her at 29wks pregnant. he was obsessed with the baby at first then it worse off and he stopped payin. she was also on income supprt. you have to call the CSA. he also got cash in hand. they will speak to his emplyer because his name will be on the books. if he wont pay they will get a cheque off his boss b4 he gives ur ex his wages of how much he owes.

    if hes names not in the books him and his boss r working illegally and the CSA will handle this well!! trust me!!

  • be warned ive been battling with csa since begining of june and still not got any money because he is being awkward not sending back forms or answering phone ect it is a long process!!!

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