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Advice on getting a happy medium

Hi, I have two adorable boys,one 3 and one just a month and a half. 

My first son slept soundly and within weeks appeared to sleep well throughout the night, my baby however is a bit different. 

He sleeps really well between about 8-1 ( obviously waking for feeds every 3 hours approx)  but more or less sleeps through them and settles so well when placed back in his cot. I am a bit selfish with this, as I class this as my proper sleep time. My baby appears to take about 2 hours to settle after one bottle at night, the others he appears to settle OK with,but wakes every 2 hours or so between 930-4.0am. He's bottle fed on hungry milk ( advised by health visitor)  and at night eats anything from 8 Oz to 3 depending on if he sleeps through the feed.

We have a thermometer and the room temp is never lower than 18 and no higher than 22. Sometimes he is swaddled ( leaving hips and legal free) others he sleeps straight away. At night all contact is minimal in no real chatting to the baby just feeding and soothing. No lights/ or dim. In the day the TV is on, hoover, washing machine etc but he just sleeps through it. 

My 3 year old boy wakes around 630-730 every day and will play in his room quietly at times but obviously when he's up he wants to interact and play too, plus he's only in nursery at being half day. Hence my selfishness when he's in school in the morning and using that time to sleep. 

My husband works 4 long shifts a week all 10 hours two day shifts and two nights, so understandably we are shattered.

I have read about waking baby in the day to feed and feeding every 3 hours as this may assist in better feeding/ sleep at night. Has anyone tried this?

Also any tips on settling a baby after a night feed. I change his nappy first, very low lighting, wind him regularly throughout the feed and have tried rocking or placing back in the cot after the feed, but he appears wide awake and takes ages to settle. 

I know this isn't long term and already in his short appearance I have seen a difference between newborn sleep and feeds to now so I know we will get there, just feeling like I haven't seen the day light in ages because I'm way too tired..... 

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