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Why won't she sleep??
Hi ladies. I really need help.
My baby girl has just turned 6 months old and won't sleep in her cot. I know if you follow the Wonder Weeks, we are in the thick of Leap 5, with week 26 being the worst bit. Her behaviour (day and night) is exactly as described with Leap 5: more needy/clingy than usual, breast feeding more frequently (every hour), hates being put down, cries when we leave the room and has recently started screaming a high pitched squeal. She naps for 40 minutes, unless held in which case she can sleep for maybe 2 hours.
On a night, her sleep is so disrupted because she wakes when she realises she's in her cot and cries. She sometimes wakes fully and I'm awake for hours at a time with her before she's asleep in her cot again.
My concern is - Leap 5 is due to finish any day now. But there's no sign of it ending. What if it doesn't? What if this is just how she sleeps now? I'm struggling so much.
We never really got out of Leap 4/the 4 month sleep regression and her sleep has been mostly awful since. But the past week has been by far the worst.
I started a bath - book - boob - bed routine over a month ago, which starts around 7pm and results in her being asleep on my boob by 7:30pm. I wait 20 minutes then put her in her cot. Every night, she goes down straight away here (except tonight).
For the past week, she's woken an hour later and really cried hard. To the point where the only thing which has calmed her is boob again. She's not hungry because she's not really feeding, but does fall asleep again straight away. Believe me - relying on the boob to get her back to sleep is not what I want to be doing but at the moment, it's been the ONLY thing which has stopped her crying.
After this, for the past week she's woken again around midnight/1am for another 'feed'. However, when I've tried to put her back down she wakes fully and screams. I've then been awake with her for 2 or 3 hours at a time to get her back in her cot.
Some nights, I've got to this stage and given up so put her on the bed with me (I know about the risks and I hate myself after having done it). But I want her, need her to sleep in her cot so I do try to persist with it.
I went back to work at 4 months and my partner has taken the rest of the leave. I'm currently off for Easter but driving to work and teaching teenagers is going to be an almost impossible task on 3 hours sleep.
During the 4 month regression, my HV said baby could be waking more frequently because I've gone back to work and she misses me, so it may calm down over Easter while I'm here. But it's worse. She also said once she starts on foods, she should sleep better. But that's assuming baby is waking hungry, right? What about waking for comfort?
A different HV suggested we place a firm hand on baby's chest when putting her back down and only picking her up when she cries a lot. For a while, this worked well. And it often still does. More recently, I'm sitting beside the cot for nearly an hour with my hand on her chest while she thrashes around or keeps waking when she realises where she is. And when she gets so distressed, I pick her back up and try again. I try to wait a bit before picking her up but I don't believe in CIO.
My partner struggles to help on a night as he gets so frustrated and angry, which leads to us arguing. So we agreed I would do nights - it was just easier than passing baby back and forth and us shouting at each other. We don't have any one else - it's just us.
She's working on crawling at the moment and I know new skills impact sleep, but again - what if this doesn't correct itself once she's mastered crawling? I can't cope if this is going to be for much longer.
I have friends with 1 year olds who still don't sleep now and they talk like that's normal. No - I don't want to accept that. I want her to sleep in her cot at night. And I want to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time.
Last week, she slept for 5 hours in one go (it went pear-shaped after that though) so I know she can do it. She's just not had very many nights like that since 4 months. I'm just so sleep deprived and it's getting me down.
If you made it this far, well done and thank you!
Supportive, practical suggestions only please. I don't need any judgemental comments or to be told I'm doing things wrong. I'm beating myself up and feeling like a failure as it is.
Thanks in advance x
My baby girl has just turned 6 months old and won't sleep in her cot. I know if you follow the Wonder Weeks, we are in the thick of Leap 5, with week 26 being the worst bit. Her behaviour (day and night) is exactly as described with Leap 5: more needy/clingy than usual, breast feeding more frequently (every hour), hates being put down, cries when we leave the room and has recently started screaming a high pitched squeal. She naps for 40 minutes, unless held in which case she can sleep for maybe 2 hours.
On a night, her sleep is so disrupted because she wakes when she realises she's in her cot and cries. She sometimes wakes fully and I'm awake for hours at a time with her before she's asleep in her cot again.
My concern is - Leap 5 is due to finish any day now. But there's no sign of it ending. What if it doesn't? What if this is just how she sleeps now? I'm struggling so much.
We never really got out of Leap 4/the 4 month sleep regression and her sleep has been mostly awful since. But the past week has been by far the worst.
I started a bath - book - boob - bed routine over a month ago, which starts around 7pm and results in her being asleep on my boob by 7:30pm. I wait 20 minutes then put her in her cot. Every night, she goes down straight away here (except tonight).
For the past week, she's woken an hour later and really cried hard. To the point where the only thing which has calmed her is boob again. She's not hungry because she's not really feeding, but does fall asleep again straight away. Believe me - relying on the boob to get her back to sleep is not what I want to be doing but at the moment, it's been the ONLY thing which has stopped her crying.
After this, for the past week she's woken again around midnight/1am for another 'feed'. However, when I've tried to put her back down she wakes fully and screams. I've then been awake with her for 2 or 3 hours at a time to get her back in her cot.
Some nights, I've got to this stage and given up so put her on the bed with me (I know about the risks and I hate myself after having done it). But I want her, need her to sleep in her cot so I do try to persist with it.
I went back to work at 4 months and my partner has taken the rest of the leave. I'm currently off for Easter but driving to work and teaching teenagers is going to be an almost impossible task on 3 hours sleep.
During the 4 month regression, my HV said baby could be waking more frequently because I've gone back to work and she misses me, so it may calm down over Easter while I'm here. But it's worse. She also said once she starts on foods, she should sleep better. But that's assuming baby is waking hungry, right? What about waking for comfort?
A different HV suggested we place a firm hand on baby's chest when putting her back down and only picking her up when she cries a lot. For a while, this worked well. And it often still does. More recently, I'm sitting beside the cot for nearly an hour with my hand on her chest while she thrashes around or keeps waking when she realises where she is. And when she gets so distressed, I pick her back up and try again. I try to wait a bit before picking her up but I don't believe in CIO.
My partner struggles to help on a night as he gets so frustrated and angry, which leads to us arguing. So we agreed I would do nights - it was just easier than passing baby back and forth and us shouting at each other. We don't have any one else - it's just us.
She's working on crawling at the moment and I know new skills impact sleep, but again - what if this doesn't correct itself once she's mastered crawling? I can't cope if this is going to be for much longer.
I have friends with 1 year olds who still don't sleep now and they talk like that's normal. No - I don't want to accept that. I want her to sleep in her cot at night. And I want to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time.
Last week, she slept for 5 hours in one go (it went pear-shaped after that though) so I know she can do it. She's just not had very many nights like that since 4 months. I'm just so sleep deprived and it's getting me down.
If you made it this far, well done and thank you!
Supportive, practical suggestions only please. I don't need any judgemental comments or to be told I'm doing things wrong. I'm beating myself up and feeling like a failure as it is.
Thanks in advance x
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Replies
Hi @Rachel158 thank you for your suggestion - I'll try anything! Did it work for you? Can I ask...how do I give her something and the cot still be safe? Could I tie it to the side of the cot so she doesn't pull it over her face?
Thank again ladies x
Sorry if I'm overthinking it but I don't know how I would put something else in the cot without it being a suffocation risk. I'm petite so my clothes aren't big enough to wrap around the mattress (suggested by HV). Would I tie it to the bars?
She's finally crawled and last night (Sunday night) was a better night. She spent most of her night in the cot despite frequent wakings. But she slept in her cot! Tonight, she's been in for an hour and is now refusing again. Thought we might be gettung somewhere!
HV said this is a side effect of successful breastfeeding. While that's lovely to hear, I won't just accept that this is normal.
My partner is all ready for us to just leave her to cry. He wants me to sleep in another room so he can just leave her screaming. I can't do it! I won't sleep knowing her heart is breaking upstairs. I'm back at work in the morning and have so far had 20 minutes sleep!
By 4am, I'm lucky if I've managed 3 hours in total. I'm going to bed at 8:30pm! My partner and I have no time together and it's really taking its toll there too. Anyway, he's been taking over at 4am ish so I can get another 2 hours before my alarm goes and I have to get up for work. I just know I'm going to end up falling asleep driving to work one morning. When he goes back to work in July, he won't be able to do that as his job is driving.
How has it got this bad? Was struggling with the 1-4am refusal to go in the cot. Now it's 10pm-4am! Every night. Not sure how much longer I can take this before I have a breakdown.
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