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Sleep Training A 14 Month Old

Hey ladies! Sam is 14 months and we are having a bit of bother at nap times & bed time!

He had his MMR jag at the end of November and ever since me and oh have had to cuddle him to sleep. He goes to sleep very fast when we sit in the dark with him cuddled up in blankets. He has also completely stopped taking naps.
I think he is going through seperation anxiety stage too so this is part of the problem, but also the fact now he is getting used to us cuddling him to sleep!

We have tried just putting him down and walking away but as soon as he hits the matress he turnes over and stands up.

I don't really know what to do. I was thinking about controlled crying, but with the seperation anxiety I don't want to stress him out more than he is at the moment!

As for naps, I cant tell if he has stopped taking them because he no longer wants/needs them (?) or because he is just fighting sleep. He doesnt show many signs of being tired during the day, but when he does he has a sit down with a blanket and will maybe drop of for ten mins or so... sometimes I think he doesnt go to sleep at night without hugs is because hes overtired from lack of naps?

argh! I dont know! Sorry for rambling on, its really exhuasting me and oh!

Emilie and Sam xxxxxxxx


  • Summer is now 17 months (where's the time gone). I work full time at the moment well anyway and Summer goes to nursery - well when she's not poorly (long story).

    Summer was a really good sleeper when younger but to be honest since she started nursery at 9 months she's been hard work (maybe because i need my sleep now). Anyway in the end i did the controlled crying and two days later she knew that when i put her in her cot it's sleep time. Occassionly she'll play up, especially if she's not feeling 100%.

    She also wakes up through the night and again i've started to leave her and after about 10 mins she's settled herself, bloody dummy.

    When Summer is at nursery she might have an hour nap through the day and god do we know it. We find she always sleeps better if she has good naps through the day more so in the afternoon then the morning.

    Me personally i'd try the controlled crying it's heartbreaking but they do get use to it and you will know the difference if he needs you or whether he's trying to get your attention. I swear they are more cleaver then you realise.

    Summer has yet to have her MMR, apparently the surgery's busy and she should be having it in the New Year she'll be a year and a half, so i can't say whether this is why he's not napping etc.

    Good luck and let me know how it goes.
  • My lo is 15mths, i use to cuddle to sleep but she has recently decided herself that she likes to get in cot awake. She does stand when i'm about to leave, but cuddles her toy dog and settles herself. When you put your lo in cot just leave him to settle himself, he may not start to cry.
  • Lily is also 14 months, but she has always settled really well and sleeps fine at night so haven't really got any useful advice I can offer. However, I do know that when she hasn't had her naps during the day (she currently has 2 for about 60-90 mins each) she is pretty unsettled at night. It seems the more sleep she has during the day, the better she sleeps at night! This may be one of the reasons why Sam is not settling / sleeping well. The older they get, the less sleep they do need, but I would still say a 14 month old still needs at least 2 hours sleep in the day.
    When we put Lily in her cot for her daytime naps she often wriggles about and stands up before I've left the room, but I just leave her and within 5 minutes she settles herself back down.
    It sounds like you may have to do some form of controlled crying as he will soon get used to being cuddled to sleep and will think it's normal. However, since I've not had to do it myself, again I can't offer you any advice.
    But good luck and I hope it gets better soon.
  • We had to go down the controlled crying route as I'd had enough of rocking him to sleep. It was really hard for me at first but it worked really well, after a couple of days.
    We would put him in bed, and he would stand straight up again and start screaming........
    so we put him in bed at 7.30, and then leave him for a minute, than go in and lie him down (not saying anything to him or looking at him). Then leave him for 2 minutes and go in a lie him down again, then leave him for 3 minutes etc etc!! This worked really well and he soon learnt to go to sleep on his own and he's been fine ever since!!
    Good luck xx
  • Hi Ladies,

    My litle man is 14mths, and never been a self settler.  I have spent the entire 14 1/2 mths nursing/ cuddling/ rocking/ patting.....usually for at least 30 mins....and longer.  As he is getting older it's getting harder, taking even longer.  He wakes several times a night....not just once or twice....usally every usually around 2am I tak him in bed with in just me...I haven't slept in same room as hubby for months image

    It has completely destroyed me, I am constantly fighting with hubby bcos Im tired and and at my wits end.  I feel so useless and like such a failure as a mum.  I don't see friends really anymore, bcos it seems I dont have time, I am always settling.

    Twice I have put my name down for sleep training, but pulled out because it felt wrong, and I felt evil.  I gave it a go at home, but 2 days in I felt awful!  He just wouldnt budge......screamed blue murder....and it never got any better.  He slept less than if I had pat him.

    My family keep saying I have to try soething else because this isn't working, and they think Im falling apart...and I know that, but I keep fighting it because I feel like I'll be neglecting his needs.  Maybe I read too much Pinky Mckay?  I've been scared out of sleep training because Im so worried I'll break his little personality, but today I have thought if I don't give it a go, Im going to ruin my marriage, alienate myself fro everyone and continue to feel miserable...which can't be good for him.

    Im also thinking that sleep training at home has got to be less upsetting than taking him one of the sleep clinics.  This has caused me soooooo many tears, icrying now, it's the only thing that really stops me from enjoying being a Mum, and that can't be good, he must sense that.  I feel a bit like I can't win.  Torture him with sleep training, and hope like hell it doesnt break his spirit, and alter his beautiful little personality...or go keep at the long settling routing, keeping him happy but ruining me image

  • My son is the same 'harveys mum'. Im at my wits end.. did you try controlled crying? Im terrified to do so :/
  • Hi everyone, Ditto to everything Harveysmum says, but times two, with twins.  They are 15 months, and I have slept an average of 3 hrs per night for their entire existence. I am genuinely scared of the night because I don't know what it will bring.  I'm exhausted to a point of misery and delirium.  It is also ruining my marriage.  I can't even imagine "crying it out" with them, because I know their stubborn personality, and it will be crazy and pointless.  Any advise would be so appreciated.

  • Well done to Harvey, Ryley and mandls moms for being so honest in their comments and sacrificing so much for their little ones.  I would say things have gone so far for you guys what other choice do you have?  My little one is 15 mths and never slept through the night, waking what feels like constantly, and always looking to only me for comfort.  At times, its lovely but most of the time exhausting and frustrating and I worry if its doing more harm than good.  Surely at some point he will need to learn to settle himself on his own and prolonging it must only make it worse. I was against sleep training/CIO techniques but after reading these posts of where it could end up feel that maybe my little one is old enough to try.  I think some babies though just aren't suited to it but I've never tried to - maybe now is the time....

  • My little one is 14 months & has never been a sleeper. I dread bed time as I know its not going to be a restful nights sleep. No one prepares you for this but we all love our babies so its a case of keep on smiling. As for my husband hmm he gets plenty of sleep grr. Since when did 'our baby' become just mine. 

  • Emma is 14 months and used to be easy to put to bed, but lately she's been fighting it. We have not changed her nightly routine, but when we put her down, she screams her head off. We've tried the controlled cry and cryout methods but work half the time. When she gets to screaming like that she will throw up....A LOT! Thay leads to another bath, change and eventually more playtime because she is now wide awake. Car rides don't seem to work as well anymore. Please! Any useful advice is appreciated
  • I'm in the same boat with my little girl, she is my 4th but the other three hav been fab sleepers so this is all new to me, I am expecting again and due in two months and worried if I don't get it sorted soon I'm gonna hav a breakdown, it can cause depression too which in worried about too spesh post natally like!

    9/10 she wil go sleep at bedtime it's jus the stayin asleep that's a problem, I'm gonna hav to try the controlled crying as can't cope wiv losing all this sleep spesh wen new baby arrives!
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