ahh - how do I stop her?????????

Joey0810 · Dec 20, 2010 6:46PM

When our ds was born 7 wks ago my dd was really good. \since the first lot of snow and we were stuck in doors I have noticed my daughter showing what could be signs of jealousy or the snow timing might be coinscidental.

I cant turn my back on dd as she will try pulling or tipping him out the bouncer! We cant find the straps for it so he isnt strapped in but shes so quick. It hasnt been a problem until recently.

What am I talking about. couple of wks ago I turned my back to pick something up and I cant her trying to tip him out of the bouncer vertically, Whilst I was with her I also caught her trying to pull him out sideways. I've just answered the door to eletric meter reading man and dd came with me. As I showed the guy the meter next to the door, she nipped back into the living room and I heard a cry and found she had pulled him down off the bouncer onto the floor! Shes so quick! I've only held ds to feed him today otherwise he has been asleep. dd has had lots of time spent with me and cuddles. Which makes me think is it jealousy or not.

I thought that maybe she hasnt had much cuddles with him, so when she asked earlier I let her cuddle him. She showed me her strength by holding him nn her left arm supported by a cushion, then one handed pushed him into the sitting upright position as I took a photo of them having a cuddle!

The very first encounter which was partly my fault as I didnt check door was tightly closed, but last wk she was playing in hallway whilst i nipped into study to answer phone for like 2 mins. In that time she had picked him out of bouncer and onto sofa when he was sleep

She must have lifted him as no signs of injury or anything. When I reached her she was about to take his socks off and said nappy change!!!

Since this incident she comes everywhere with me, but now I cant turn my back for a split second!

Only other thing is maybe she is trying to copy me or possibly does it when tired. She copies me with her doll and soft toys by copying burping, feeding and nappy changes.

I tell her off by getting down to her eye level and tell her off sternly. I cant do time out it doesnt work. What else can I do.....anyone else had this with2 children?

Told hubby and he says make sure dd is with me - I cant glue her to my front!

I forgot to say she is 29mths, would usually put son asleep in crib but its too cold up there during the day at the mo.

LittleChickpea · Dec 20, 2010 12:49PM

I cant help, but can sympathise. Dd is 8 weeks, nearly 9wks a ds is just 3. He is always trying to kiss and cuddle dd, and if I left him to it I worry he will accidently smother her! He also tries rocking her bouncer, rather roughly! So he comes everywhere with me too.. Shower, toilet.. Everywhere!

Your not alone x x x

MumOf2andBump · Dec 20, 2010 1:11PM

I don't think it's jealousy it sounds to me like she is playing at being mummy tbh hun. Does she help you do things with him? My ds1 is 3 years 9 months and ds2 is 4 weeks and ds1 does lots for him, he has his own nappy change box with nappies and wipes, he holds baby everyday, gives him a bottle, puts his clean nappy on, picks his outfit for going out in etc. He loves helping and says ds2 has two daddys

he has never once tried picking him up when we have left him on his own with baby cos he knows if he asks then he can hold him anyway. Harrison is so involved in looking after him and even chose his name, so now he feels important and grown up and like he is part of it. Maybe try involving dd more in the day to day looking after of baby and she might be less inclined to do things when you leave the room, and therefore less likely to hurt baby or herself trying to pick him up etc on her own.

Hth.

Sam, Harrison & Daniel

xxxxx

Joey0810 · Dec 20, 2010 1:51PM

Just told my husband about recent event and he said of course shes trying to play mummy - he didnt say that the other day!

but I think your right sammy. How much do you think I should be letting her do?

We let her dress her dwarfs (we have doll size of happy, dopey and grumpy!) and doll in ds clothes, and put them in his car seat and bouncer. She also sits in his car seat to as shes quite petite. She sometimes lies under playmat with him. She pretend to burp her dolly and does nappy change alongside me. I also put him in the bath with her and let her wash his feet.

I guess I could make sure she cuddles him like once a day, liking the idea of helping with new clean nappy, apart from he someetimes wees! Im planning on buying reusables in new year and was going to get her the resuable dolls nappy.

palmtree - yep she always comes to the bathroom with me! The other day he was asleep in car seat in hallway and she was on potty in hall way. She got uip to move the car seat closer to her so she could rock it.

I let her rock him (gently) and sing to him.

MumOf2andBump · Dec 20, 2010 6:46PM

How much she helps with is up to you and dd I think hun, Harrison had days when he doesn't want to do anything at all, then others where he can't do enough. I would start by just asking her for help, so when you're changing ds nappy try asking if she would like to wipe his bum (put a piece of cotton wool over his willy if you're worried she gets peed on

), if she says no then ask if she would like to fasten the nappy when you put it on. I usually pick a couple of items of clothing then ask Harrison which he would like Daniel to wear that day (picking a few means you are actually still deciding but makes them feel like it's their choice). You could also try asking her to help with the feeding (if you're bottle feeding) and she could perhaps hold the bottle while you hold baby. I would also ask her regularly if she would like a quick hold of baby (when he isn't being fed). It might also be worth leaving the room for a minute or two but when you leave say something like 'mummy is just going for a wee, could you watch baby for me please and shout me if he cries, but don't try picking him up cos he might get stroppy' then just stand the other side of the door for a minute then go back in and ask if he behaved for her. If she does try picking him up just tell her that although she is a big girl that only mummy and daddy can pick baby up as she is a bit too small at the moment and might hurt him or herself, but that if she wants to sooth him she could give him a little cuddle where he is and a kiss on his cheek, or ask her to sing to him. If she does ok when you leave for a

minute try leaving for a bit longer and see how she goes, but make her feel grown up by asking her to keep an eye on him for you like a big girl. It may not work, or it may take a few tries before she stops trying to pick him up but it's worth trying. When he is asleep during the day I would also ask her to just go and check him to see that he is still asleep and check he is ok. Or when he wakes ask her to go and talk to him/play with him/sing to him cos she is mummy's big girl and you really need her help looking after him.

It's so difficult knowing how to get the older sibling involved, I wasn't sure what to do with Harrison, so I just ask him to do or help with everything I do with Daniel.

Sorry to waffle, hth.

If you need anymore ideas just message me hun.

ahh - how do I stop her?????????

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