Star Charts

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  Caroline

  Jan 31, 2008 9:01PM

  Ignore the other mums, easier said than done I know, but most kids go through stage like this!
  
  I think a star chart should work. If you let him choose his stars or stickers it will give him ownership of the chart. Sometimes wearing the stickers is a good incentive for younger children too (it also works for my 15 year old pupils!!) unreal!!!
  
  At the end of the day, you won't know what works until you've tried them!!
  
  Good Luck!!

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  Nicolette

  Feb 1, 2008 12:03PM

  Hi Marie. It is hard when you feel that your child is the worst behaved and other mothers get on their high horse knowing that theirs can be just as bad. Yours is not the worst behaved child in the world, he is just normal. Bon, my three year old, doesn't like to be restrained if there is the chance to run around. He played up for me at a function with council officials and I had to do something quickly. I took him outside and spoke to him sternly and quietly and the quietly bit shocked him into behaving for the rest of the visit.
  
  Naughty steps do work, Dr Tanya Byron uses them for very young children, maybe not a step but a corner, or a cushion, so you can keep an eye on him. Give it a go, something physical can make more of an impact that somethign visual like a sticker chart, although it is another tool that can work really well. The other longer term fix is to try and praise good behaviour, even adequate behaviour, and ignore bad behaviour. Sounds tough, the idea is to make mummy as much fun as possible when he is being good and doing what is expected of him.
  
  Good luck and if you find a method that works, let us know! N. xx

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  Kas

  Feb 1, 2008 8:29PM

  HI Marie, it is very confusing to know what to do for the best, and i know you've probably heard it a million times over, but it is something they all go through.
  
  Theres no reason why doing both cant work. We use the naughty step, and praise the good behaviour, he is old enough to understand when you are happy or sad with him. But if there is something that you have particular probs with, like you say, behaviour at tots groups, then there is no reason you cant do a reward system for that. So, say to him, that if he behaves at tots group then he gets a sticker on his chart and if he goes to groups all week and behaves, he could have a small treat at the end of the week.
  
  im sorry for going on a bit, and i hope you find something that works for you
  keep us posted
  kas xx

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  marie

  Feb 4, 2008 7:53PM

  Thanks girls for you help. I haven't been on for a while coz I had my in-laws down for the w.end.
  
  Jake has been good these last few days with my or inlaws attention. I'm not looking forward to tots group tomorrow, will update you tomorrow night!
  
  xx

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  clairemumof3

  May 10, 2008 6:47PM

  my son is autistic so im a expert on other peoples dirty looks and opinions when my son misbehaves! a star chart may well work, like someone else said, let him choose the stickers and work towards a small treat but dont make him wait too long or he will lose interest, say good behaviour and get x amount of stickers that day and gets 10 mins at the part or whatever you feel suitable, as for the other parents, ignore them, obviously they gave birth to angels who never misbehave. it may well be the terrible two's and their time will come!

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