am i a bad mum?

candimum · Jun 22, 2009 9:46AM

hi ladies i wa reading on here an it made think.i have a 3 year old an a 1 year old.we dont have loads of money so when we go shopping for food i have to stick to certain things as hubby has been brought on a bad diet he is so fussy as in he only eats peas an bannas (he will only have when i say he has to if they are going bad etc) that is healthy.anyway i have be brought up eat what you given or you have nothing as my parents werent well of with 6 mouths to feed although my mum always made sure we ate well sometimes junk food other times healthy etc.anyway my point is hubby moans if i get to much fruit,veg an salad dd an ds do love most of it an i like them to eat healthy with the odd treat inc chocolate,sweets(not 1 year old)cake an crisps.anyway recently we havent been able to buy much healthy stuff as we had a big bill an not much cash spare.so we have to buy stuff hubby will eat then we can get stuff after.i think with this i have got in abit of a ruck as now my 3 year will have mainly junk food as we dont have loads in.i feel so guilty as i want them to eat well. 3 year old is bad with getting his teeth brushed although dentist sai they are ok.i am a bad mum as give in a let him have what he wants.like today he had 4 jammy dodgers an 2 pink wafers?he had jam on toast for brekky an jam sandwich an pringles for dinner.also should we give snacks i do but tend to be a biscuit or fruit.i feel silly for writing this but i feel so bad i carnt give him healthy stuff most of the time.x

joannemarie · Jun 16, 2009 3:04PM

It must be hard when someone in the house doesnt like healthier food. Could you try shopping at Aldi or lidl for your fruit and veg? The ads at the moment say there are loads of different stuff for 49p each. I dont think your a bad mum, we all can only do the best we can, but I do think that 6 biscuits in 1 day is a lot. I just try and give Reece treats once a week (although what he gets when his granny has him is another story) and I dont buy chocolate or biscuits because I end up eating them if I do. Maybe if you spoke to your oh and planned menus for the upcoming week, with a mix of foods that he likes and what you want to make - I know it sounds boring but a lot of people on a budget swear by planning ahead and if you have told him what he is having then he wont have any suprises? just a thought xx

nessellis · Jun 16, 2009 4:14PM

Frozen veg is really cheap and still have plenty of goodness in them. It's also really quick to cook cos all you have to do is put the right amount in a bowl and cover with boiling water. A minute in the microwave and it's done. Fish fingers are fairly good too. It must be hard to be stuck between keeping your husband happy and doing what is right for your lo's.

waiting4baby · Jun 16, 2009 4:31PM

Frozen veg is good and actually I need to budget food and found by doing 2 shops, 1 at tesco and 1 at asda I was able to find the cheaper options in each making it a much lower bill, plus by writing down a weekly menu and trying to make ingredients fit several meals really helps. The hardest part is sticking to your list when going around and seeing all the offers. You're not bad for giving them the odd junkie thing but you should definitely bring them up liking 'good' food too, would oh have veg if you blended it into sauces so he couldn't see it, like you would for a child? I think if oh is stubborn it may be worth seeing if you can budget doing his foods seperately or alternating through the week , good luck feeding fussy children is bad enough but when fussy adults get involved eugh LOL!

ladyblue · Jun 16, 2009 5:00PM

i'd say no way are you a bad mummy but you need to put your foot down and carry on giving kids healthiest food possible. hubby is not a baby and should grow out of his bad habits for the sake of his children growing up to enjoy a balanced diet. the other ladies have made great suggestions to keep things cheap x

candimum · Jun 16, 2009 5:26PM

hi thanks ladies.i do buy frozen veg.our lidl a adli arre really small here and never have much in.i had talked to him tonigt about an he said okay about buying more healthy stuff he didnt no i felt like it event ho i had told him.we have come to an arregment he is goin to take his crisps,bicuits etc to work with him for the whole week so connor doesnt no they are there.imogen is still young so she wouldnt notice plus she eats anything you give her.goin to see granparents up north thi weekend ab they have a plot were they gro veg,fruti an salad an she said she has some for me.i think i am going to start growing tem my self an it will be cheaper in the long run.i have been tol he eats really well at nursery with fruit etc so i no he likes it it gettign him out of the habit of knowing what he cam have i surpose.thankyou ladies.i do do try an give veg at every meal even if its just pea.i fell silly about this now but had to get it of my chest.i was thinking i could make a job lot of stuffan freeze it when hes at nursery an imogen is in bed like sauces etc.my hb doesnt like sauces only strong cheese ones which i hate but he wont try tomato ones as he doesnt like the texture of thm.i no he silly but his mum is worse.i will keep you updated in a fe weeks or so an let you no how it goes.6 biscuits is alot i no but he doesnt normally havr that many.lol!again thankyou

babs4 · Jun 17, 2009 3:16AM

I am sorry to say hun but your hubby needs to grow up! if he cant eat healthy things when your children need it most then quite frankly he is a selfish pig, there is no excuse for an adult to expect a child to eat junk cos he does....it is just not on.

As the other ladies said frozen is better than non at all, have you got a iceland? what about asda smart price??? I know where you are coming from in regards to no money hun, I used to have less than ??20 a week for the 5 of us before we got sorted and believe it or not my hubby didnt get a choice he ate what I brought or went hungry(and he used to only eat chilly, etc nothing in the way of veg)

Sorry to sound harsh but my kids health comes first and it shouldnt be put on a back burner just for a selfish man.....sorry.

And no you are not a bad mum you obviously did what you needed to, but just bear in mind you hubby is a grown man and if you carry on feeding your children junk food because of him they will end up with a diet like him.

candimum · Jun 17, 2009 9:27AM

thankyou.i no he came be in th way of food.we ended up having an arguement about it an he bascially said there other kids eat worse than ours.i said i dont care thats up to them but i care enough to think about the future an said i dont want them to obese (i have nothing againist this)if you are healthy but i dont want them gettign heart problems etc.hubby isnt small not obese either but could do with watching what he eats as all of thr male sides of the family have dyed early fromtheary problem is.or the rest have high blood pressure or high colesratrol sp?.
i said i dont care we are going to eat better from no on i want to get healthier.i think i mite say i will go shopping an him wait in the car lol.if i put veg apart form peas an maybe carrots if they so soft they are like mash he wont eat it an would go an make something else.wot eat rabbit food he said an fruit is horrible.is mum is worse than him although she does eat a fe fruit but no veg.hes very srtong minded an will not do what i say he will do what he says if that makes sense in food wise.men eh!

babs4 · Jun 17, 2009 9:34AM

oh hun, I didnt mean to sound so negative, I am sure you are doing your best.
men are just so ignorant arnt they?? I do hope you can manage to do whats best for your lo's without too much hassel from your oh and his mum.
When money is tight I know how hard it is to feed your kids, I felt so guilty that they would only get carrots, cucumber, apples etc but in the long run at least they were getting something. Now we are on the up there is no end to the kids asking for fruit and especially cucumber which was something ds wouldnt touch before and now he eats it all the time!!!
I hope things improve for you babe xxxxxx

candimum · Jun 17, 2009 9:45AM

no you wasnt at all.i what you ment.cucmber is actually connor fav salad item inculding celery.he does love most fuit,veg an salad just getting them in.i lucky that we have a big garden so was thining of planting some seeds then i no they will fresh.plus it will be nice for connor an imogen to help me as they will learn.what do you think?imogen will eat anything given to her an she is only 16 months so still young not to notice.i have been good to day with them as no junk food.they had wheatabix for brekky an raisians as a snack are tesco value ones ok.they seemed like them.they had a jam sandwich for dinner(need to go shopping so was limited today).thnkyou for you advice.xxx

babs4 · Jun 18, 2009 2:01AM

ooh yes grow your own veg, i am growing green beans at the mo(I have a courtyard garden so need to do it in grow bags!!) they are huge, I cant wait to harvest them!!
Its a super idea especially the seeds are cheap, in wilkos or b&Q!

I dont see anything wrong with tesco value or asda smart price. I do always check the ingrediants label for the amounts of junk in them though!!! most of it is fine to buy, I certainly use smart price and tesco value for alot of my shopping. DD2 loves the value raisons, she scoffs them as much as maryland raisons lol!!

Nothing wrong with a yummy jam sarnie for tea either, I usually put a grated carrot or mix of fruit next to it so they can nibble on that too lol!!
Pasta is another good one thats sooo cheap, just mix with a few veg or salad, a very quick meal for my three after a super busy day and it fills them up too !!!

Asda sp sausages are ok, my dd1 only eats those, she doesnt like any other brand(bonus!!) oh and they are great on a bbq(we had one last night lol!!)

goodluck with your veg patch xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

candimum · Jun 22, 2009 9:46AM

thanks ladies.well we just got back from grandparents and they have given me loads of strawberries that are being eaten very quicly.they are also sorting me out fruit an veg plants i can have as they have a huge alotment.so i grow tem myself.we are gonna sort the garden first so next year i should have plenty of home grown veg.x

am i a bad mum?

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