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Trouble settling into nursery ;(

louis2louis2
in Toddler
Hi

My DS is 14 months and this week he started his settling in sessions at nursery. He will be going for 2 afternoons a week on 6 Sept. I am returning to work, but it is mine and my husbands company so I don't actually have to but for me I have decided to.

Anyway, he is really struggling. The first session he was ok , cried a bit and when I got there as soon as he saw me he started to crying. The second session was awful. The nursery had to call me back after half an hour as he wouldn't stop crying and refused cuddles. When I went into the room he was at the gate crouched down holding onto his teddy and the gate just shrieking. He had a rash on his face, puffy red eyes and was literally squealing he was sooooo upset like he was frightened. The nursery have suggested I take him every day next week as he is not settling well.

I think I will try Monday but I don't know if I can do it after that if he is the same, it just feels so cruel. What are other peoples experiences? Any thoughts on whether I should persist, give up or try a nanny instead?

Thanks

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    hollypollyxxhollypollyxx
    we had a few los at the last nursery i worked at that took a while to settle what we did was to take it very slow maybe mum just poping out for 5mins at first and then building it up so lo knew that mum would always come back and most did settle within two weeks .my lo is starting in the toddler room september and am dreading it even thought hes going to a nursery i worked at and know its great with good staff.as for giving up if it was me i would give it a lillte longer maybe a few more short visits and see how it goes.if not i would go with the nanny and you could alway try nursery again when hes a bit older.hope it goes well on monday

    [Modified by: hollypolly on August 21, 2010 07:58 AM]

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    nikkiandneilnikkiandneil
    I think Hollypolly has summed it up well. Just do lots and lots of short sessions, and build it up very gradually.

    Also - it might be tempting to sneak out, when he's not looking, but NEVER do that! Always say goodbye and make sure he sees you go (It makes it harder for you - but much much easier for him).

    We are putting Abby (16 months) into nursery in sept, and I am a bit nervous about it. I hope it goes well, as I love the nursery so much, and the visits (I have stayed with her the whole time so far) have gone really well, in fact the only time she cried was when we tried to get her to leave! xxx
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    pbobpbob
    Persist!

    My lo started settling in sessions when he was 12 months old, the first 4 times he cried the entire hour, I'd collect him and he'd be bright red and sobbing, it broke my heart ! The nursery advised us to leave him there for longer than an hour. I collected him after his first 2 hour session and was completely gobsmaked to find him napping after having had a yoghurt! We've not looked backed since, he loves nursery, it's done wonders for his development so try to stick with it, he'll settle eventually.

    If you can stand it, try leaving him a bit longer. I was 'rescuing' him while he was still upset instead of giving him the time to calm down on his own. It's incredibly difficult, goodluck!x
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    Angel00Angel00
    Make sure you are very positive about nursery. Your lo will pick up on it if you are feeling anxious. I put my lo in nursery when he was 10 months old and before then he hadn't spent any time away from me! He cried a bit the first couple of time but was fine afer that but I know people who have had issues with their los and they always talk so nervously about it. It is important you speak nicely and chatty to the carers so that your lo can see they are friendly.

    Im surprised the nursery called you back. My lo has been in nursery for almost a year and they have never called because my lo is too upset they always deal with it by distraction etc... It is hard enough leaviing yur lo with nursery but even harder when they cry for you!

    Emma x
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    blondefriendblondefriend
    I also think it's strange that they called you so quickly. Abby took a while to settle in at nursery and cried constantly for the first 3 weeks. She refused to eat and needed cuddles all the time. However she suddenly turned a corner and now loves it. When I drop her off she just runs off to play - I actually have to go after her to get a goodbye kiss.

    I know it's heartbreaking but stick with it for a bit longer. I would definitely leave him for at least an hour so that he can get involved in a sing-song or something.

    H xx
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    blondefriendblondefriend
    I also think it's strange that they called you so quickly. Abby took a while to settle in at nursery and cried constantly for the first 3 weeks. She refused to eat and needed cuddles all the time. However she suddenly turned a corner and now loves it. When I drop her off she just runs off to play - I actually have to go after her to get a goodbye kiss.

    I know it's heartbreaking but stick with it for a bit longer. I would definitely leave him for at least an hour so that he can get involved in a sing-song or something.

    H xx
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