Will it ever happen????

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling so down and I can't believe I'm actually crying as I'm typing this.
I ov'd 12 days go and today when I was checking my cervix I had some brown cm. I always get this about 12/13 days after ov so I guess af will arrive sometime at the weekend.

I am so sad and feeling very sorry for myself, I had a mmc in December and my baby would have been due this time next month. After the mc I really thought that I would be pregnant again before the due date and now it just feels like it will never happen.

I have tried not to get too stressed about it but as each month passes I just start to wonder if it'll ever be my turn. I thought I'd managed to stay chilled this month and that I done really well not trying to sympton spot too much. Today was the first and only time I checked my cervix. I even thought that I hadn't got my hopes up too much but just goes to show I was really kidding myself!

My oh works away during the week, which is making things really hard. He is always able to make it home at the crucial time of the month but it's not the same as him just being here all the time so we can bd as and when we feel like it. I called him before to tell him our bad news but I try not to get too upset on the phone. After all it does no good. I know that he is gutted too but he doesn't like to think of me being upset when he's not here and he can't fix the problem. I just can't wait for him to get home tomorrow so we can spend some preciouse time together. Friday night seems like such long time away.

I'm so sorry to moan, but even if no one replies to this post it has made me feel a bit better getting it all down. I am sure that a few days after af has arrived I will feel back to my normal self once again. I must try and stay positive.

If any of you have any postivite stories following mmc it would be great to hear them. Also if you suffered a mc how long did it take you to get your bfp again?



  • Sorry to hear that you are feeling so down shrewpin. And to be alone while you are so upset is just awful. Try not to give up hope just yet tho, the brown cm might be something to do with implantation bleed, or could just be down to hormones causing cervical changes? It really isnt over until af shows her ugly face, and I will be keeping my fingers crossed that she stays away from you for the next nine mths.

    I had a mc last mth, but cant help with your questions Im afraid as am back ttc again, and dont really know what the hell my body is playing at as I keep getting random bleeds, and blood streaked cm.

    Good luck hun, and chin up. Only one more sleep and hubby will be back to give you some much deserved cuddles. Take care, and try and keep your pma xxx


  • Just wanted to say I think you are so incredibly brave and that I am sure you will get your BFP soon. I know its so hard trying not to get your hopes up each month, then horrible AF arrives and its a huge deflation. Its good to get your feelings out keeping them bottled up just doesn't help. Really hope you get good news soon. Keep us posted lots of love and support to you xx
  • Thank you so much for your kind words. It really does mean a great deal to me. You have all made me cry again with your lovely positive messages. (I must be hormonal!!!) I'm am just feeling very lonely tonight whilst on my own but all will be well again when my oh returns home tomorrow.
    Thank you once again, right from the bottom of my heart. xxx
  • Oh honey sorry to hear your feeling so low. But its true its not over until af appears it may be implantation bleeding. Keep positive.

    sending lots of pma and baby dust to you xx
  • hiya hun , hope ur ok found your post really touchin , i had a mmc in dec but luckyly i feel pg agen in march however things didnt go wel my 2nd time either as i mmc with that 1 aswell 4 weeks ago . My best frend is pregnant shes fell pregant the same time as me with my 1st one so shes due in 5 days and its a constint reminder what i could of had. I think we all get like this at times i no its hard but try not to get stressed out cz ur days wil cum xx.
  • Hey shrewpin, really sorry to read that you are feeling so low......hey its Friday so i hope your oh is there to give you some cuddles and support. Try not to get down, you need to stay positive and believe that you will get your bfp. You know you can get pg so as SB says it is a matter of when.....

    Don't give up on your cycle until the witch appears as there's always a chance....

    We have to be strong together & keep our pma going....after your mmc your body took a while to get over it so now that your cycle has become shorter and more regular hopefully you will get your bfp in no time. You have been so brave and patient, its only natural for you to get upset because of your dd....it will happen and you will get your bfp soon i'm sure of it. Keep going, keep your chin up and stay positive.....

    Hope you have a lovely weekend with your oh....enjoy yourself and forget about ttc. Take care. Speak soon. Nat xxx

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