If you couldn't conceive.......

Do you think you'd try IVF or would you look into adoption?

I know this is only our 3rd 2WW but I've been thinking a lot about this recently (I am a born worrier!). I would probably give it a year to 18 months before considering other options, but the more I think about it the more I'm leaning towards adoption rather than IVF.

Just wondered what you lovely ladies think about this, if indeed you've even considered it at all!



  • Having just welcomed my little nephew into the world this week I would say that i would have to try IVF. Don't get me wrong it was a tough journey for them but she has said she would do it all again knowing now how she feels gving birth to her son. Having said that maybe when it comes to nos two she may adopt!!
  • Im a bit of a 'think of worst case scenario and plan from there' person too. Then that way i have a plan for any situation.

    Im not sure, i dont really know about each option, but i think id go for adoption rather than IVF. The only reason im thinking this though is that i dont think it would be as emotionally draining in that the end product is out of your hands. Whereas although im only new to ttc i feel like things are MY FAULT when they dont go the way i want them to.

    So i can imagine adoption would let me go with the flow more and put an end to the sadness of my not being able to conceive (if that was the situation).

    x x x

    edited due to terrible spelling!!!image

    [Modified by: HomeFairy on January 31, 2010 03:57 PM]

  • I would def go down the route of IVF. I love the idea of being of being pregnant, thats obviously not the only reason though.
  • i am a plan for the worst type too. when we were ttc and after having an mc and being told i had pcos, with cycles showing up when they like, i looked into adoption. it has always been something i have thought about anyway. but we got our bfp 8 months after the mc.


  • Awww thanks frillypink! Your daughter is so cute in that photo! I think my main reason for favouring adoption at the moment is that my need to be a mammy is greater than my need to be pregnant.

    I'm really hoping that it's a decision I won't have to make, especially as I suspect hubby would much prefer to try IVF. It's so hard waiting to be a mammy isn't it?!! x
  • I have looked into adoption before (this time last year in fact!) so that is the path we'd take x x
  • its funny you asked as we discussed it over the weekend.
    I have been trying forever and are only just staring to get help, we have said twos rounds of IVF max then call it a day.... I am hoping it wont get that far as am desperate for a child.

    I always tell myself that I have a fantastic relationship , we are the happiest couple I know and if we dont have a child we can still have a wonderful life together... great holidays and lots more money to spend! I have seen this situation tear couples apart and I am determind that would never happen to me.
    I would be devistated if I didnt have a child but sometimes you have to accept things life throws at you ...
  • This is a really interesting topic.

    Totally get where you are coming from Mrs Robertson. My need to be a mummy is more pressing than my need to be pregnant, and I am definitely someone who needs to feel in control, so I would rather have a disaster recover plan than nothing at all.

    Both choices are hard roads to go down. A friend of mine is doing IVF at the moment and it sounds really hard work, stressful both emotionally and physically. I also had a serious look at the adoption process as well recently and that is no walk in the park I can tell you! From what I read it can take up to a year (sometimes more) and the process is extremely involved, detailed and looks very intrusive.

    But to be honest if we had to do either I would go with adoption, even though the process looks so intimidating!

    But then how long do you keep going with the old ttc before you seek help? A year, 18 months, two years????? I keep thinking, perhaps I should start down the adoption route now - after the heartache of a mmc, I'm not sure I can go through the heartache of ttc too!
  • thanks little wolf , I didnt know that.
    Moon and stars it has been over 2 years sonce my MC (when I feel first month of TTC!) we have started to get help now ... I left ti too late wish I had done it earlier but I never thought it would be an issue , plus my Father in law passed away and time just ran away.
    I agre with you little wolf if I had children I dont think I would adopt ...
    Interesting topic! but lets hope none of us ever have to be in that situation
  • If I couldn't conceive again, then I would love to adopt...i would want to give that child the chance to be part of a loving family.

    There's a part of me though that would want to try ivf but only because as much as i was so sick when pregnant with my lo, i would love to be pregnant again xx
  • hi girlies, my hubby and i just discussed this. he would like to adopt but i personally would want to walk away from babies as it would be horrible to think i couldnt have any. im the kind of person who finds new things to focus on in life and i'd try and push it all away as hard as it was xx :/
  • Wow, I've just come back to this thread as I've been busy since I originally posted it. It's nice to see so many different points of view on the subject.

    Littlewolf thanks for the advice on how long we should leave it before seeking help, I'm 29 and hubby is 37 so I think if nothing happens by September (we started TTC last October) then we'll look into other options.

    I don't think I could cope with never being a mammy at all, it's one of my very worst fears. xx
  • Hello ladys,

    OH and i have decided that if i don't have a bfp before sept then we will stop ttc and just get on with having 1 child and i will have to get over the fact i will never have abother child :cry:

    If this was my first i think i would want to try IVF although i would look into adoption x

    gems x
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