Has he thought of getting tested, Looby? Set out minds at rest! We hadn't even started TTC at the time, but because of the cancer they were more than happy to test him, as they knew we might have trouble. I had to force him to take the test as he didn't want to know one way or the other, but I told him it would mean we could plan the rest of our lives (baby/adoption etc) instead of worrying about it.
JFP that's horrible! Even if I thought somebody looked a little porky (which at size 8 I would never think!) I would never tell them it! Nor the rest of the office! And to comment to that woman!! Geez, some people have no tact, no brains at all!! Makes me mad...can you tell?
This is all me and dh get, we got married last Aug and it has been non stop since esp as im 32 (prob more of an issue in my head). Iv had to put a bit of weight on to get my bmi over 18 to give us the best chance so because im bigger than normal that has made people in work comment which i think is sooooo rude. Its like, they would never comment about anyone else putting on weight but cos im thin its ok to say im putting on weight-wtf?? it drives me mad. At one of the christenings last week all of dh's family were going on about how its obvious we will be next and its only right!!! Mil is the worst tho she keeps implying (or I think she does) that im too career orientated to want kids, despite the fact i keep saying i want to be pt or no time preferably. I cant wait to get a bfp and it just to be our secret then i will be instigating all kinds of conversations just to wind her up haha- payback x
jellyfishpink??? Are these people your friends or just the meanest work colleagues ever??? I can't believe anyone would ever say that out loud!! I feel really bad for you...! Girls can be so mean sometimes!
I hate this subject...it really gets me mad!!! & depending on what time of the month I am it can affect me totally differently!!! Just after BFN when someone says something I am highly likely to just burst into tears!!!
People really should think before they speak especially when they have been through the whole process & tried to keep it quiet themselves.
We've had to tell parents that we're TTC this weekend as now we are going for tests, etc, it feels like an even bigger secret!!! However I have made the point quite clear that I do not want to be treated like I'm ill & do not want to be asked about it every 5 minutes...
Whoops...think that was longer than I intended it to be
Curls I know what you mean about the big secret haha. We've been having tests so I came clean to both our parents and my closest friends to tell them I have pcos but they don't know we have been ttc. Now every time my mum sees me she immediately brings one of my 2 pregnant cousins into the conversation- their cravings, bellies I'm just waiting for CM next haha. I know she means well I think she is trying to hurry me along a little as she's worried I won't conceive but she doesn't know I'm trying and just hearing about pregnancy can get me really wanting to scream the truth- I've been trying longer than the people who are pt. She even googles pcos, clomid, ivf the lot now in her lunchbreaks haha bless her xx
I'm glad not just me! We got married in July and as soon as returned to work they were betting on me that I'd be pregnant by Xmas! I got bfp in September that ended in an ectopic pregnancy. I had treatment that meant we couldn't ttc until January.
Even now some "friends" at work quiz me about whether I'm pregnant or I can't book a holiday as I might me be pregnant by then. I snapped last week and said "do you remember my baby died? Do you really think I wish to discuss my fertily with you? I don't so don't talk to me about this again"
Been a bit frosty since then but I'm beyong caring! X x
Garfield - he had to bank some sperm before the treatment invade we need it for iui or ivf they tested it then to check the sperm count but we haven't even had the appointment for the result of that yet! Grrrr. He then has a follow up 6 months on from the treatment (next month ) and they will test how his fertility has been affected, I'm trying not to stress too much till we know where we stand, there's a chance it will come back and if not we have the samples stored and I don't want to stress my hubby about it anymore than he already is, did your oh's sperm count return to normal then? Sorry for hijacking the thread ! X
I'm glad not just me! We got married in July and as soon as returned to work they were betting on me that I'd be pregnant by Xmas! I got bfp in September that ended in an ectopic pregnancy. I had treatment that meant we couldn't ttc until January.
Even now some "friends" at work quiz me about whether I'm pregnant or I can't book a holiday as I might me be pregnant by then. I snapped last week and said "do you remember my baby died? Do you really think I wish to discuss my fertily with you? I don't so don't talk to me about this again"
Been a bit frosty since then but I'm beyong caring! X x
Im so sorry that people still do that even though they know that its an utterly sensitive subject for you. You poor thing, i cant even imagine how hard that would be.
Urgh-ive had this too-but its my fault too. We said we'd try after our wedding day and i got a bit tipsy at the very end of the evening as i only had a teeny bit to eat and some champagne (NOTE:I WASNT P*SSED!!)
So SIL said "go and try for lots of little babies and make me an aunty", and i said "OK!!", its a year and a half since then and she's had a baby and keeps saying "You said you'd have a baby by now", like i just lied about wanting a baby!!
I can totally understand the comments on here! Hubby and i were married for 2 years before we decided to ttc and honestly pretty much on a daily basis we were asked when we were going to have children. It started before we even got married. I was quite surprised as i was 23 when we got married so honestly thought that there was no rush as we were young and wanted to enjoy just some 'us' time. Fastforward 2 years and we decide to go for it and fortunately fell pregnant first month of trying and i was surprised by all the "about time!" comments.
Seriously though i think that for some reason people seem to think that it's absolutely fine to ask such personal questions?! I used to think during those 2 years-how do they know we're not trying and having difficulties?? How personal?!
So now i'm pregnant (21+6) and i've ALREADY had people asking me about the NEXT one!! lol!! gotta laugh! I'm thinking to myself "will you let me have this one first??!" lol! I'm not even thinking about that! I'm just trying to enjoy my pregnancy and the blessing i've had so far! gosh! Some people are just well nosey and forget how personal and private these matters actually are.
Lol - yes these people are 'meant' to be friends. They really have no idea what they are saying tho. I was paranoid all day that I looked like I'd squashed myself into these trousers that were too small lol.
I think it upsets the other girl more than me as they are worse with her. I want them to understand that just because they think having babies close together is good, it isn't right for everyone! But then Lily is only 19 months so if we do get lucky soon she'll only just be over 2 when a new baby arrives which is hardly a big age gap!
I'm sure the comments will start again once we're back at work on Monday! Might just wear a really baggy top to wind them up!
I agree with KeenBeen - people are so rude that ask personal questions!
This will make you laugh, I took my mil to one of my wedding dress fittings and she said in a very loud voice "are your family fertile, our family have no problems!" had no idea we were going to ttc after wedding.
How embarassing! she must think I'm faulty goods now! x x
I know! I didn't quite no what to say on a busy high street! I'm surprised I wasn't asked to take fertility tests there and then before I married her"highly fertile" son!!x
Looby - My hubby has a low sperm count compared to normal so we were told we might need a hand, but at the same time the fertility consultant said that it wasn't hugely lower than normal so to try for a year first, then go back if nothing. We fell pregnant 6 months later. We have the samples as well, and despite that we have a baby they have kept them on ice for us which is great. Means we have them to fall back on if we can't conceive again. I have problems which mean I am prone to m/cs so is nice to know we have their help if needed.
I'm sure he will be fine though; they can work wonders these days! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for the next set of test results (but be warned I think it can take a while for the count to fully mature...as in they may be lower at first but further tests further down the line can show a higher count from what I remember). xxxxx
Totally emphathise with everyone's comments on this thread.
My favoured responses so far have been to say "Yes I'd love to, but I can't have children", "Actually I'm barren" or my favorite so far "I could actually be trying to get pregnant but keep having miscarriages for all you know. So keep your comments to yourself please".
They all have some shock factor to try and wake people up to their comments. No one in my workplace mentions babies to me now! And if I do get a BFP - it can be a happy miracle.
Totally emphathise with everyone's comments on this thread.
My favoured responses so far have been to say "Yes I'd love to, but I can't have children", "Actually I'm barren" or my favorite so far "I could actually be trying to get pregnant but keep having miscarriages for all you know. So keep your comments to yourself please".
They all have some shock factor to try and wake people up to their comments. No one in my workplace mentions babies to me now! And if I do get a BFP - it can be a happy miracle.
Replies
I had to force him to take the test as he didn't want to know one way or the other, but I told him it would mean we could plan the rest of our lives (baby/adoption etc) instead of worrying about it.
JFP that's horrible! Even if I thought somebody looked a little porky (which at size 8 I would never think!) I would never tell them it! Nor the rest of the office!
And to comment to that woman!! Geez, some people have no tact, no brains at all!! Makes me mad...can you tell?
Iv had to put a bit of weight on to get my bmi over 18 to give us the best chance so because im bigger than normal that has made people in work comment which i think is sooooo rude. Its like, they would never comment about anyone else putting on weight but cos im thin its ok to say im putting on weight-wtf??
it drives me mad. At one of the christenings last week all of dh's family were going on about how its obvious we will be next and its only right!!! Mil is the worst tho she keeps implying (or I think she does) that im too career orientated to want kids, despite the fact i keep saying i want to be pt or no time preferably.
I cant wait to get a bfp and it just to be our secret then i will be instigating all kinds of conversations just to wind her up haha- payback x
I hate this subject...it really gets me mad!!! & depending on what time of the month I am it can affect me totally differently!!! Just after BFN when someone says something I am highly likely to just burst into tears!!!
People really should think before they speak especially when they have been through the whole process & tried to keep it quiet themselves.
We've had to tell parents that we're TTC this weekend as now we are going for tests, etc, it feels like an even bigger secret!!! However I have made the point quite clear that I do not want to be treated like I'm ill & do not want to be asked about it every 5 minutes...
Whoops...think that was longer than I intended it to be
xxxxx
Even now some "friends" at work quiz me about whether I'm pregnant or I can't book a holiday as I might me be pregnant by then. I snapped last week and said "do you remember my baby died? Do you really think I wish to discuss my fertily with you? I don't so don't talk to me about this again"
Been a bit frosty since then but I'm beyong caring! X x
Even now some "friends" at work quiz me about whether I'm pregnant or I can't book a holiday as I might me be pregnant by then. I snapped last week and said "do you remember my baby died? Do you really think I wish to discuss my fertily with you? I don't so don't talk to me about this again"
Been a bit frosty since then but I'm beyong caring! X x
Im so sorry that people still do that even though they know that its an utterly sensitive subject for you. You poor thing, i cant even imagine how hard that would be.
Urgh-ive had this too-but its my fault too. We said we'd try after our wedding day and i got a bit tipsy at the very end of the evening as i only had a teeny bit to eat and some champagne (NOTE:I WASNT P*SSED!!)
So SIL said "go and try for lots of little babies and make me an aunty", and i said "OK!!", its a year and a half since then and she's had a baby and keeps saying "You said you'd have a baby by now", like i just lied about wanting a baby!!
I can totally understand the comments on here! Hubby and i were married for 2 years before we decided to ttc and honestly pretty much on a daily basis we were asked when we were going to have children. It started before we even got married. I was quite surprised as i was 23 when we got married so honestly thought that there was no rush as we were young and wanted to enjoy just some 'us' time. Fastforward 2 years and we decide to go for it and fortunately fell pregnant first month of trying and i was surprised by all the "about time!" comments.
Seriously though i think that for some reason people seem to think that it's absolutely fine to ask such personal questions?! I used to think during those 2 years-how do they know we're not trying and having difficulties?? How personal?!
So now i'm pregnant (21+6) and i've ALREADY had people asking me about the NEXT one!! lol!! gotta laugh! I'm thinking to myself "will you let me have this one first??!" lol! I'm not even thinking about that! I'm just trying to enjoy my pregnancy and the blessing i've had so far! gosh! Some people are just well nosey and forget how personal and private these matters actually are.
xx
I think it upsets the other girl more than me as they are worse with her. I want them to understand that just because they think having babies close together is good, it isn't right for everyone! But then Lily is only 19 months so if we do get lucky soon she'll only just be over 2 when a new baby arrives which is hardly a big age gap!
I'm sure the comments will start again once we're back at work on Monday! Might just wear a really baggy top to wind them up!
I agree with KeenBeen - people are so rude that ask personal questions!
xxx
x x x
How embarassing! she must think I'm faulty goods now! x x
x x x
Looby - My hubby has a low sperm count compared to normal so we were told we might need a hand, but at the same time the fertility consultant said that it wasn't hugely lower than normal so to try for a year first, then go back if nothing. We fell pregnant 6 months later. We have the samples as well, and despite that we have a baby they have kept them on ice for us which is great. Means we have them to fall back on if we can't conceive again. I have problems which mean I am prone to m/cs so is nice to know we have their help if needed.
I'm sure he will be fine though; they can work wonders these days! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for the next set of test results (but be warned I think it can take a while for the count to fully mature...as in they may be lower at first but further tests further down the line can show a higher count from what I remember). xxxxx
My favoured responses so far have been to say "Yes I'd love to, but I can't have children", "Actually I'm barren" or my favorite so far "I could actually be trying to get pregnant but keep having miscarriages for all you know. So keep your comments to yourself please".
They all have some shock factor to try and wake people up to their comments. No one in my workplace mentions babies to me now! And if I do get a BFP - it can be a happy miracle.
CTBxx
My favoured responses so far have been to say "Yes I'd love to, but I can't have children", "Actually I'm barren" or my favorite so far "I could actually be trying to get pregnant but keep having miscarriages for all you know. So keep your comments to yourself please".
They all have some shock factor to try and wake people up to their comments. No one in my workplace mentions babies to me now! And if I do get a BFP - it can be a happy miracle.
CTBxx