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Just something I wanted to get of my chest...

I know some of you will find it strange or don't understand why I am posting back on this board already but... 

I don't think I am strong to be trying again so soon, I am not actually actively TTC and wont be unless the consultants give the go ahead for active treatment, But I have been lucky enough to fall pregnant twice but I still don't have a baby, I have had to go into active labour and deliver my babies, But I haven't been able to bring my babies home I have had to leave mine in the hospital and then have had to attend both their cremations. (Which I wouldn't wish on anyone)

I am just desperate to be a mum just like everyone on here.. I have my whole life to grieve for my boys and I will never forget them. Trying for #3 might come easily or I could still be here in 2 years we never know how life is going to treat us but I would rather start now and it take 2 years than worry what people think and  wait an 'appropriate' amount of time to grieve and then have a 2 year struggle to conceive again 



  • You might not think you are strong/brave/amazing but I know you are and so is Mr CC. Trying for another baby will never change how much you love Jack and William and everyone here knows that. I can't wait for the day your cervix behaves itself (even if we have to stitch it shut for you!!) and the birth announcement I'm posting is accompanied by a picture of a little chunky monkey in your arms x

  • Thank you xxxx Yay to having a PP already hehe! You are very amazing yourself xx

  • Exactly what PS said! Xxx

  • You are amazingly strong cc xxxx

  • Well you know my thoughts sweetheart. You do not and should not justify your decisions to anyone. Your beautiful boys will never be forgotten and your quite right there is no appropriate time to grieve. Like PS I live for the day I see your birth announcement and  pictures . I hope with all my heart that this will be in the not to distant future xxxx

  • Cc I really don't think you need to justify why you are here or why you are posting. The boards are an out let for everyone and no doubt you have been with a lot if these girls since wp so they are part of your online friendship group.

    When my William died, I begged h to start ttc straight away again (we were still in the hospital), I just said please please can we try again. That's not because I don't love William, it's because I had that desperate need to have a baby. I spoke to the mw who said I had to wait 3 months to grieve (erm, ok so after 3 months il never Greive him? God 4 years on and il still cry sometimes about things he should be doing), anyway my consultant said that there's no time limit on grief and if I wanted to ttc then as long as I was emotionally ready then go for it, I'm pleased your consultant is working with you fir a plan.

    When I was on hitched I was told by everyone that the boards were for me to, if I wanted to laugh rant or cry then I shouldn't be afraid to post, so please do the same. Yes I had RL friends but some things I could speak about here easier iyswim.

    Please don't justify why you are here, there's no need at all. You are here because you need an outlet but you can also offer support and advice to and you have a tonne of people here who are desperately waiting on you bringing your baby home too.


  • Thank you ladies xxxxx your all so lovely

  • Trf- Its how I feel exactly I am going to wait too see the consultant and if they say yes they will do something hubby will have a job keeping me of him in the waiting room haha!

  • CC I can't imagine any person thought it was strange you came back here, just incredibly brave. I really hope that the consultants give you all the help you need and you have a long and healthy pregnancy soon. I can't wait to see the birth announcement that PS describes xxxx

  • Thanks DollyP - It was prob more for me to get it off my chest and kinda of explain why I am here not long after a miscarriage :) xxx

  • CC - I really don't think there's any right or wrong thing to do in your situation as everyone would feel differently and do differently. As long as you know that we're all here for you and I'm sure noone would have been looking for an explanation. Huge hugs to you. PS You are strong though, even if you don't realise it! xx

  • I think that you are really brave and strong CC. It's such a personal decision that only you and Mr CC know what is right for you.

    For me, the right time to TTC again came when my fear of not TTC was greater than my fear of TTC, if that makes sense!

    Sending you and your H a massive hug X

  • WEES, absolutely no need to justify you being back. I completely understand your desperate need to have a baby. That in no way means you love Jack or William any less! You are an amazingly strong person CC xxx

  • CC - your post bought tears to my ears.  I cannot imagine what you have been through and you seem exceptionally brave.

    As others have said, you do whatever feels right for you and Mr CC.  You do not need to justify anything.

    We are all here for random chats, internet weirdy hugs, and support.


  • Thank you all for being lovely x big squishy hugs!

    Ceejay sorry for making you tear up!


  • Cc  there are no right lengths of time to wait. As you said you will never forget Jack or William and grief doesn't disappear after a certain amount of time, as you unfortunately know you just get easier at living with it on a day to day basis. Our situation is slightly different but we started ttc the month after k died. We were lucky and fell pregnant straight away, so 6 weeks after she left us. Like you we just wanted a baby and you have so much love to give. We also had the discussion about what if it takes a long time and as long as you feel ready go for it. People were surprised by how quickly we got pregnant but were very happy for us too. We haven't had any negative comments and I hope you don't too xx

  • Bunny - Thank you! I hope your doing ok not long to go!, I am glad you came on here as I know it wouldn't of been an easy decision for you to ttc after..

  • Hi CC,

    We've not really spoken, but I don't think anyone would judge you. I can't comprehend what you have been through, you seem incredibly strong and I have a lot of respect for you. xx

  • CC I can only echo what the other girls have said. I for one think you are incredibly strong and an inspiration.  xx

  • Thank you ladies :)!

    Your all so lovely xx

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