would this annoy you?

i got a text from MIL yesterday asking if we were free this week, we are going to be out everyday so i said we were not free until next week and arranged a visit with her, last night hubby recieved a phonecall at nearly 10! (highly inappropriate considering she knows the phone goes off upstairs!)arranging a visit to hers at the weekend, i am so annoyed she has gone behind my back, it is the first weekend in ages i am not working and wanted to spend it with my little family, i was so cross with him for not checking with me first, he said it didnt matter as i would be in bed anyway (i am on nights friday) but i would be up by lunchtime and there gonna be over there most of the afternoon i am so cross!


  • Yes that would pi*s me right off. Tell him to call her back (at 11pm tonight) and say that he'd forgotten you were busy but your still on for xxx visit that you arranged.
  • i would be miffed too...could he not phone her back and say that he can either come over in the morning (so will be back to u by wake up) or that uall go over for the afternoon, but only for an hour or so mind as u've got plans...oh and i'd also get him to tell her about late night calls, not acceptable..my mum is terrible for this, she regulalry calls at 9pm/9.30pm, which i consider pushing it, but she phoned at 10.15pm the other day, i did try to make it clear it wasn't acceptable without being blunt, sort of,she was just like normal 'hello' so i just said 'what's wrong?' and when she said 'nothing' i said 'ah well, with it being so late i figured somehting was wrong for u to phone at this time of night'...i would never phone her that late, and she doesn't ahve a toddler and newborn, but i would consider that she'd probably be getting ready for bed etc cos she has to get up for work...some people don't think :roll: x
  • Yup, that would really annoy me. I would get your DH to unarrange it and unplug the phone from 9pm onwards. They can always call your mobile if it's urgent!
  • Yes!

    I think being undermined would infuriate me more than the having to visit. My MIL used to put my husband in compromising positions until I stamped that right out! xx
  • totally PP, that is really unfair of her to do that I don't understand how people can be so down right sneaky with their own family??!!! Seriously do these people not realise if they treat you with respect etc etc the relationships fro all concerned will be better??!!!

    I would get OH to phone her back and say he didn't realise she had already spoken to you and that plans have been made for the week after so tough titty (obvioulsy dont say that lol)
  • Oh, that's not on on both counts. I'd do what moonbeam suggests and get DH to say he didin't realised you'd already arranged something. That way, it kind of highlights the fact that she can't just go behind your back when you don't tell her what she wants to hear!

  • yes, that would annoy me very much! I would get your husband to unarrange it and say he hadn't realised she'd already arranged something for the following week with you. xx
  • Very naughty of her, undermining you like that.

    Why did she even bother to ask you in the first place if she was just going to go over your head?

    Did you watch that series that was on a little while ago called Little House???!!! If you did you'll know why I mentioned it lol!!!
  • It puts me in mind of that old trick of asking your mum for something, then when she says no asking your dad.

    I think moonbeams idea is the best one really. Just get him to phone her back and say that the plans you made with her would be more suitable and thats that.

    My OH would say the same about me being asleep tbh and although its all fair and well saying that youll be asleep so hell go over in the morning I know for a fact that Id be up and waiting for them coming back, only to be told MIL had cooked dinner and theyd been invited to stay or something like that so it would ruin the day anyway.

    Plus, its valentines weekend this week so thats yet another reason why he should say no!
  • Yes it would annoy me - if you've told her you're not free until next week and made plans for then, she should leave it at that, it's not as if you've said you won't see her at all. Phoning late at night when she knows a baby is asleep is out of order too.

    I also have to say I wouldn't be impressed if my hubby invited anyone round while I was in bed - I don't know how you feel about this as presumably you do nights fairly regularly, but I know I would be disturbed by there being people downstairs, and that's not fair. When ds was a newborn I'd go to bed in the evenings to catch up on sleep (so I could function, not because I wanted to) and MIL and BIL would come round and be noisy, and cuddling my baby when I couldn't! - and it was the main thing I wanted to be different when dd was born.

    I agree your hubby should phone and tell her he didn't realise you'd already got plans - even if they are for a quiet weekend! If you go along with it she might think you were lying about not being free and will continue to go to him rather than you to get her own way in the future. If she is 'innocent' and didn't mean to undermine you, she'll be understanding!
  • I would be really cross!

    My mil is similar - really gets on my nerves!!

    I would tell your hubby to cancel, or take yourself and the little one else where so she can visit her son - but as you told her already, you are notfree til next week!! She wouldn't do it again :lol:

  • Yes, that would annoy me a lot - I'm with the other girls who suggest getting him to call her and cancel! x x x
  • thanx ladies i didnt think i was overreacting,

    problem is hubby wont say no hes a right mummys boy! hes the biggest problem as she knows she can get round him! just like a child playing off mum and dad! and i know i will just end up cross for the afternoon when he dordles back with a grumpy tired baby that i have to deal with for the evening! he goes swimming on a sat morning with DS so he'll be tired and hungry when they go over there, if she was coming here i could tell her to piss of myself but they are going to her as i dont allow visitors when i'm sleeping as its hard enough with just hubby and DS

    i also found out today that at DS's birthday party she told one of my friends she was a lazy mum if her girl was not fully potty trained before 18 months, if i had heard that heads would have rolled! gggrrrr
  • Oh god lazy mums dont potty train by 18M!!! Jesus and the prize for most obnoxious comment goes to...
  • yep I'd be raging....she sounds just like my MIL! :roll:
  • Oh yes definately would annoy me!! I hate MIL's!!!! That is all!
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