As the others have said, babies can't take too much. At 18 weeks she still needs a LOT of milk, I wouldn't know how much in ounces as I bf but she needs at least 4 or 5 good feeds a day. It will be a long time till she can get all the energy and nutrients she needs from solids.
What gets me about your post is I just can not imagine WHY your oh would say the things he did, and WHY he would be so concerned about your daughter's weight. I know nothing about him, but does he or someone in his family have a history of either weight problems or anorexia/body image problems? I can almost see how someone with this kind of history might find it difficult to understand that piling on the ounces is a good and normal thing for a young baby. Sorry if I am way off the mark, no offence intended, I am just struggling to understand.
I hope you can sort out the arguments, can you try getting the HV to talk to him, or show him some books about baby nutrition? The most important thing is that you don't give in to him, as the others say your little girl is relying on you- don't let her go hungry.
i'm very very glad to come on and see your reply this morning Keza, you sound very level headed and strong and i have no doubt that you will do the right thing for you and your daughter.
If ever you feel weak though - just remember what he actually called his own daughter - and that should give you the strength you need to walk away!
big hugs honey and well done for standing up for yourself! X
So glad to see your reply - I meant to post yesterday but didn't get chance (I read while lo is settling to nap but don't type as it wakes him!)
As others have said - your oh is so definately in the wrong - I started weaning my lo at the same age as yours is and i didn't drop his milk feeds at all till he was over 6 months - under 6 months and all they want really is a taste of food and their main nourishment should come from milk. My lo is just 1 and still has 2 big and a small bottle a day as well as 3 meals and whatever else he scavanges off me!
it doesn't matter if a baby is fat - last time i took cole to be weighed at 11 months I think there was a 7 month old baby that was hugely chubby and weighed the same as cole and the hv didn't say a word! Once they start crawling and walking and all that they'll lose their chubbiness.
Good luck standing up to him - hope he sees sense and everything is ok xx
Hi sweety, Im so sorry that your hubby is such a total loser. As someone has already stated this is abuse. I hope you do feed your baby your way, and i hope you tell all if this to your health visitor. Babies can not have too much milk. And they will go through phases of not eating food, which is why the milk is so important as you know they are getting the vitamins, iron ect they need when they have these fussy days. This guy is not good. Im telling you now if he continues over the next few years like this you are going to have a child who is obcessed with their weight and god knows what else. Im sorry to be so blunt but it makes me so so upset to hear sich an awful story. You said you feel like a terrible mum, from your reply today i would say that this is not the case honey, but if you stick around listening to this garbage then im afraid yes, you are a bad mum. And im not saying that to offend you, but your children are your one and only responsibility. Kick this guy into touch or kick him out. You and the kiddies dont need this.
Hi Hun, Have just read your post. I hope it went OK when you spoke to him. Definitely talk to your HV that way you will have someone to support you either way. Good luck, let us know how you get on. Stephxx
HI hun - just wanted to say stay strong and stick to your guns. Your OH is so out of order and I cant believe somebody could act so coldly towards their child (well I can i see it all the time) and you need to put you little girl first. If he doesn't listen you will have to take further action. I hope yu're ok and that you get support from your HV. xxx
omg hun, what an awful situation to be in sorry but ur oh sounds rather controlling and overbearing and IS putting ur baby at risk. if u can sort it out with him some way then great but if not i would tell him to get the hell out (hard decision i know, got rid of my oh control freak last yr) but i had to put me and kids 1st. i think u need to do some thinking hun, big hugs to u. xxx
like the other posts - good luck when you talk to oh. You do need to follow your instinct and feed her more. If you can get the hv talking to him than it should help (providing he hv is good). The last thing you want is for any concerns to be raised about malnourishment or for it to be raised with the authorities. If she continues to be effectively starved then it can lead to much greater health problems and when she does eat normally would probably be more proan to being over weight as the boby willstore up as much as it can ss it's been so short of nutrients in the past.
Good luck and keep us updated as we're all rooting for you.
Hi keza, Just wondered how it went today? Really hope the man saw sense and if not that you've got the courage to do what you gotta do! Thinking of you both, please look after yourselfes and the other child
Replies
What gets me about your post is I just can not imagine WHY your oh would say the things he did, and WHY he would be so concerned about your daughter's weight. I know nothing about him, but does he or someone in his family have a history of either weight problems or anorexia/body image problems? I can almost see how someone with this kind of history might find it difficult to understand that piling on the ounces is a good and normal thing for a young baby. Sorry if I am way off the mark, no offence intended, I am just struggling to understand.
I hope you can sort out the arguments, can you try getting the HV to talk to him, or show him some books about baby nutrition? The most important thing is that you don't give in to him, as the others say your little girl is relying on you- don't let her go hungry.
If ever you feel weak though - just remember what he actually called his own daughter - and that should give you the strength you need to walk away!
big hugs honey and well done for standing up for yourself! X
As others have said - your oh is so definately in the wrong - I started weaning my lo at the same age as yours is and i didn't drop his milk feeds at all till he was over 6 months - under 6 months and all they want really is a taste of food and their main nourishment should come from milk. My lo is just 1 and still has 2 big and a small bottle a day as well as 3 meals and whatever else he scavanges off me!
it doesn't matter if a baby is fat - last time i took cole to be weighed at 11 months I think there was a 7 month old baby that was hugely chubby and weighed the same as cole and the hv didn't say a word! Once they start crawling and walking and all that they'll lose their chubbiness.
Good luck standing up to him - hope he sees sense and everything is ok
xx
Im sorry to be so blunt but it makes me so so upset to hear sich an awful story.
You said you feel like a terrible mum, from your reply today i would say that this is not the case honey, but if you stick around listening to this garbage then im afraid yes, you are a bad mum.
And im not saying that to offend you, but your children are your one and only responsibility. Kick this guy into touch or kick him out. You and the kiddies dont need this.
Thinking of you.
xxx
Have just read your post. I hope it went OK when you spoke to him. Definitely talk to your HV that way you will have someone to support you either way.
Good luck, let us know how you get on.
Stephxx
Your OH is so out of order and I cant believe somebody could act so coldly towards their child (well I can i see it all the time) and you need to put you little girl first. If he doesn't listen you will have to take further action.
I hope yu're ok and that you get support from your HV.
xxx
sorry but ur oh sounds rather controlling and overbearing and IS putting ur baby at risk. if u can sort it out with him some way then great but if not i would tell him to get the hell out (hard decision i know, got rid of my oh control freak last yr) but i had to put me and kids 1st. i think u need to do some thinking hun, big hugs to u. xxx
Good luck and keep us updated as we're all rooting for you.