My baby won't look me in the eye

Hi chaps,
feeling really low and want some advice on this and if any one is experiencing the same thing.
My little boy is nearly 10 weeks and it's been quite a struggle so far as he has reflux and colic, but i've persevered with ebf. Because of the reflux and the fact that he was breech and he will only look in one direction, i went to see a cranial osteopath yesterday. She noticed that he won't track objects with his eyes or make eye contact. She says it's pretty unusual for a baby of his age not to lock onto his mother as we're so vital to his survival! He also doesn't seem to have a blink reflex if you make a move close to his eyes. She said i needed to get his fields of vision checked and i left in tears, not knowing if he can see or not. Went to the dr yesterday who said she could see the issues and now i'm waiting for a referal to a pedeatrician. I think he can see, he does look at things, but it's like he's not that bothered about what he's seeing. He doesn't follow objects and seems indifferent to toys or rattles. He will smile but not at me, only at blank walls or the sofa! If i try to get his attention he seems to deliberately look away or just ignore me. I feel like he doesn't love me as i don't get a lot back from him. It's heartbreaking really. The dr says it's very difficult to tell at this stage, maybe we're just asking too much of him, but i'm so worried. If there's nothing wrong with his sight could it be an early sign of autism? Does anyone else with a 10 week old experience this, or has gone on to develop 'normally'? Or are your 10 week old babies all smiles and eye contact?? Please help.


  • Hi readingmole. My daughter was 10 weeks on Tuesday and she is a little bit interested in toys / rattles if I dangle them in front of her but she would much rather lay and stare at the ceiling - her new fave object is the lampshade! I think at this stage it's more a case of bold outlines and bold colours.

    What did the Dr say at his 6 week check (I think they have them track an object)? I know it's so, so hard but I would try to keep an open mind until you see a specialist - this might just be 'normal' (!) for him.

    K x

    PS Come over and join the Born in April girls - our LOs are all the same age as yours xxx
  • Thanks Kaycee, have posted in Apr 2010 too! At his 8 week check they didn't get him to track. They did shine a light in his eyes but he was screaming the whole time so to be fair it was pretty hard to tell anything!
  • Hi there, you say he was breech and only looking in one direction, perhaps there's a link, there has been a trauma to his neck perhaps and so he can't turn his head around and really explore his environment, perhaps it hurts him or perhaps he just doesn't realise yet he has this range of movement as it was so restricted in the womb. He could also be so preoccupied with what is going on inside him with the reflux etc that he can't put himself in the outside world yet.

    My LO smiled at all sorts before he smiled at me so I wouldn't worry too much about that, he also really favoured one direction and would always look that way which meant of course he was looking away from me. I remember one day when I was feeling really down taking him to a baby massage class and all the other babies were gazing at their mothers and mine was gazing at the woman next to me!!!!! I started to get really upset thinking like you that he didn't love me which on reflection I thought because I was feeling low anyway.

    When you breastfeed him does he look at you? Do you spend lots of time looking at him? Perhaps this could encourage him. I know because I work in it that Autism doesn't present itself in babies this young because all babies are in what is called the Autistic state anyway.

    I would change your osteopath first off, she sounds like an insensitive practitioner and didn't really help you with any of your worries. Ask for a quick appointment to see paediatrician, say it's really getting you down and you feel you might be becoming depressed cos of it, I mentioned PND and was sent to see a specialist asap, I know it's a bit sly but where needs must and besides if you have to wait weeks on end it would be hard.

    I think doc is right, everyone might be asking a lot from him as he has a lot going on already. Oh and there's no way on earth he doesn't love you or know that his survival depends on you, he cries for you doesn't he????? Osteopath is a prat!

  • Replied in BIA but thought I'd bump this up for you x
  • Hi I'm g/c I don't know much about breech birth but my son had a difficult birth and he also had visual issues at birth. His eyes wouldn't connect with me or anything else, feeding time his eyes were looking at my elbow. They tended to be always looking to the left and he couldn't track either. We had him checked at around 6/8 weeks and he wasdiagnosed with 'delayed visual maturation' in our case he still has issues at 2.5 but a lot of cases just mean they are slow to get their vision but it is usually normal by 6mths or on their way. I'm not saying this is what is wrong but just throwing another possibility in there for you, obviously it wouldn't be the end of the world, I know we all want our children to be perfect for their sakes but my zachariah has done amazingly and progressed a lot over time, he's also gorgeous but I am very biased lol . .... If you find this is what he has feel free to contact me if you want to chat or ask something, my email tab is open but also I pop into 'children with special needs' foru
    Where I originally posted when my son was diagnosed. Good luck
  • Thanks for all your support and replies, i definitely feel that i'm not alone now! I actually think i've seen real progress in the last couple of days and he's focusing on me more so maybe he's just been a little slow to get going. Had great results after just one session with the osteopath, he is now turning his head to the left and even sleeps in his cot that way, which he's never done before. Thanks waiting4baby, the symptoms do sound similar, i'll let you know if I do get a diagnosis. My little boy is a Zachary and also gorgeous! x
  • I dont know if this will help but i was watching an old re-run of baby whisperer the other day and she said on it that the 12 week old baby was turning away from looking at his Mum because he felt intimidated by being stared into his eyes as do most babies. Just thought it might explain it. Oh and also my LO always preferred to look over my shoulder when i tried to look him in the eye for the first few months. He's 9 months now and perfectly normal!

  • Oh that's really interesting, i hadn't thought of that, guess it makes sense!
  • Neither had I and the lady on the program getting help sounded surprised too! I think we dont think of it as intimidating because we're always told to make eye contact with them from the start.
    Hope you get the answers you want from the paediatrician.

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