Am I Being Stupid? *UPDATE*

my oh works about 20 mins away (in a car) and it's all busy main roads the whole way, anyway, my oh doesn't drive and used to get a lift off 2 friends to work which was fine until 1 friend left 2 weeks ago, his other friend is on holiday for a week next week and my oh wants to cycle to work and back!! he used to have a motorbike and had a really nasty accident on the road to work a few years ago where he broke his back, ankle and arm and was in hosp for 3 months! my dad will quite happily take him to and from work next week but my oh has told me not to ask him cuz he thinks it's too much to ask...but is it too much for me to ask that he puts his safety first with having an 8 week old baby?! it'll be dark when he leaves in the mornings and it'll be dark when he comes home, it'll take him at least an hour and a half to get there cuz it's all up-hill so he'll have to leave at stupid o'clock in the i being stupid getting upset about this? he's adamant he wants to cycle but i'm so upset about it :\(

[Modified by: mrsjbourne on 15 November 2008 22:04:18 ]


  • Your not being stupid at all..............

    When I was working, i'd drop my dh off at the train station on my way to work and i'd pick him up at the end of the day too. In the school hols, he would cycle. Last Feb, during half term he cycled on an icy day. A car overtook him and because he hadn't de-iced properly caught dh with the back of his car. Luckily, dh had a change of clothes in his bag which he landed on. He had a sore arm and that was it but his bike was badly damaged.

    Anyway, he's tried cycling since we've had lo but he's had more near misses so won't do it anymore. He walks to the station and I sometimes pick him up in the evening.

    Hope I havn't worried you more but wanted to show your right to feel the way you do!
  • we've only really spoken about it over text today cuz yesterday there was no other option other than him cycling but i mentioned it to my mum earlier and she said my dad would happily take him and that's when he text to say he didn't want me to ask! i'll just cry later and he'll give in :lol: i feel like a bitch tho if he really does wanna cycle but i can't see why he would, it's a horrible journey and what if it's raining?! x
  • Having a lo makes you think about this stuff much more and realise you're soooo important and you can't take the risks you used to. I would be exactly the same and I'm sure you're oh will understand. Thank goodness you've got such top parents to help out.
  • Perhaps I will feel differently when my little one gets here but come rain or shine, light or dark my hubby cycles to work and back most days (similar length journey to your oh's by the sounds of it) and I think it's great as it keeps him fit and he gets a buzz from it. It also saves us money twice over, because we don't spend as much on petrol and he doesn't feel the need a gym membership. I do understand your worry, as I'm a worrier too, but I've come round to thinking that he's probably safer on a bike than he is in the car.

    Just a thought, hope you don't mind an alternative viewpoint!

  • no hun thats fine...i just worry cuz there's no pavement or anything and so he'll be on the road in the dark and he hasn't cycled since his accident so he won't be that strong or confident and it seems silly when he has the chance of a lift...argh i dunno :\(
  • Pinktoothbrush - I think it can dpend on the roads - my dh has to go past loads of parked cars on fairly thin roads, if there were cycle lanes it would be different!
  • he said he'd never get another motorbike after his accident cuz we've got JJ and it's just not worth the risk but surely a motorbike on a main road is more stable than a bicycle...obv there's the speed difference but bicycles don't have proper lights or anything and u can hear a motorbike!! i'm gunna have the worst week ever next week, from 7am and once 6pm comes i'm gunna be a nervous wreck...JJ has his injections on Tuesday and i have to get 2 buses to a Mothercare in a place i don't know well on my own with the pram on Friday to pick up some photos :\(

  • I can understand why you would be worried, i wouldnt like Rob on his bike during the winter, i hope you manage to persuade him to get a lift xxx
  • I think it can dpend on the roads - my dh has to go past loads of parked cars on fairly thin roads, if there were cycle lanes it would be different!

    There are no cycle paths on my hubby's route either - his consists of 3 miles on a very busy A road and 6 miles on winding (but well-used) country lanes. I think that roads with cycle lanes are more dangerous than those without, to be honest.... you often hear of cyclists having accidents because a vehicle turns left and just doesn't see or acknowledge the cycle lane. If there is no cycle lane a sensible cyclist will cycle right out in the road, which means s/he's far more visible. And about pavements - cyclists shouldn't be on pavements at all :\?

    Hope no one thinks I'm arguing or saying you're wrong to worry - that's the last thing I mean. I worry as much as the next person about my hubby, but he statistics show that he's more likely to add a few years to his life cycling regularly than he is to have an accident image

    mrsjbourne - I hope next week doesn't prove to be too stressful for you. It's horrible when everything comes along at once. Hopefully hubby will come round to your way of thinking, if only for your peace of mind.

  • well his mum phoned him and apparently had a right go at him (he had told her because it was his brothers bike he was borrowing) saying he was stupid and he had responsibilities etc so he came to me and apologised and has let me ask my dad for lifts which he said yes to so all is good...he hasn't stopped saying sorry and he realises how silly he was now lol all ends well x
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