would you let her babysit?

Basically Hubby's mum (my mil) left his dad for another man last summer. She now lives with this man, who we've both met a few times. He seems ok, more interested in his two younger children aged 13 and 15, and the football than anything else really,

His mum has asked if she can have our LO for the afternoon tomorrow, she's had him twice before. Once when I was really ill following complications after the birth when he was 6wks old, and she mentioned that his children had been there and had fed him. (which i wasn't happy about, as i've never met them and I don't feel comfortable with them feeding my son) and the second time she was alone with our LO.

Well tomorrow I think the whole clan would be there, I don't really feel comfortable with her new partner and his kids playing happy families with my baby (he's 18wks old). I can't explain why, but my mil's partner and his kids have nothing to do with me, so should our LO be involved with them?

But the thing is, I could really do with a break, my mums on holiday and my hubby works long hours, and I'm pretty stressed out, as Lo has been teething all week and has been a little terror.

So would you let mil babysit if you didn't feel comfortable with her new family, but you knew LO would be totally looked after, or would you just wait until your mum could take LO so you could have a break?


  • could you compromise and have MIL over to yours to look after lo then you go out or to bed for a couple of hours?
    It depends on how strongly you feel about her new partner and family, and if you think you could cope with waiting a bit longer for some 'you' time.....
    what about FIL? Could he have lo for a bit?

  • Personally providing i was sure that he was gonna be well looked after and that he was gonna be happy then i wldnt mind.

    It might be worth meeting them tho coz i guess they will be part of your mil from now on so everytime your mil has him then there is a chance that they will be there too.

    But then im very frazzled at the mo so babysitting sounds good lol

  • FIL is a lost cause, he visits us twice a week. And asks why our LO is crying (erm because you come 30mins before his bedtime everytime when he's at his most crankiest) and honestly doesn't believe me when I say he's a difficult baby. Why would I make it up?
    Several times I've said your welcome to take him for an afternoon to see, but he never takes me up on that.

    with mil, we hardly see her now, maybe once a month, whereas before we'd see her and the fil weekly.
    I just don't see why we and the LO should have to have a whole new family just because she's decided that she wants someone else.

    I think i'll suggest her coming over and sitting with LO if she wants to see him while I have a bath or pop out for abit. Then I've given her the opportunity to see her grandson.

    Do you think an 18wk old would be aware that his mummy wasn't looking after him? (How sad does that sound)
  • I bet its hard for your MIL too, she's entered into a "new" family and i bet she feels a little out of the loop when her new partner has his kids over. Id have no problem with it and wouldnt mind his kids feeding lo either they are 13 and 5 not likely to do anything daft and im sure MIL would be standing over them anyway. Is your oh ok with this new fellow? is that why there seems to be a bit of tension? x
  • I agree with Doublebubble - as long as I was satisfied LO would be safe and happy I'd try to push my doubts to one side. I find it quite a wrench to leave Lily even for an hour so I know how you feel, but try really hard to get over these feelings as I know it's good for her to get used to lots of different people.

    Think EmmaLou puts this really well.
  • I agree with the others if LO is gonna be well looked after and you could do with the break then go for it BUT if you dont feel comfortable then you are only gonna spend that time worrying so would u really get a break?

    I'd say if you have doubts then wait till you know the new family a bit more.

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