strange relationship with my OH :(

evening all, this post might end up being long but there is nobody else i can talk to about this, so i hope you can all lend an ear and give me some support as i'm all in a muddle!

A bit of background - Ben and I got together in july '06 so have been together two and a half years - married for the last year and a half of that. It was a whirlwind romance and i fell pregnant with evie two months after ben proposed, we were over the moon.

Ben is my best friend, and i believe he is my soul mate and fate brought us together. I love him dearly and couldn't live without him, he's a fantastic partner and daddy to evie - 13month.

My problem is.... I've began to feel so close to him in a friendly way - we have such a close bond, that it feel REALLY strange kissing him... or sleeping with him. I look at him, and he is GORGEOUS to me, i think he's hot... he has a lovely body and i do fancy him - but i almost feel like he's my gay best friend... or the little lad nextdoor that i've grown up with so it'd be "icky" to sleep with him!

We used to have a fantastic sex life up until i got pregnant - the "honeymoon period" shall we call it, then it dwindled off a little bit.

There isn't anything wrong with my sex drive - i get "the horn" and i can even look at other men and fantasize about them which i know is really naughty. It's just.... it doesn't feel right getting it on with ben. I love kissing, always have - could snog a man for hours, just not ben, anymore. When he tries to get a big snog out of me i honestly feel like i'm kissing my best mate and i feel uncomfortable. So when it comes to sex - no matter how horny i am and how much i try and relax and think of him as my hubby, i don't enjoy it.

Why am i so weird?!? I do love him dearly... and he's hot! so why do i feel like this? I want us to be together for ever... no other man is good enough, but i feel like i want sex with other men instead sometimes just to satisfy my needs.

i've never known anybody else who feels this way... i want my stud back.... not a gay best mate! Anybody in the same boat or got any words of wisdom? It's really starting to get me down.

Posts

  • I don't think you're weird. I felt a bit like this in the late stages of pregnancy. I thought I'd never see my OH as 'hot' again or didn't love him. But I did & do, so I dont know what it was, hormones maybe. I think in any long term relationship or marriage (I have been with Andrew since april 06 so similar time), sex is going to wax & wane so to speak...I would just, simply, stop thinking and worrying about it, give it a few months and I bet you'll be back to normal. Also even if you don't really fancy it, initiating sex or doing something sexy for him might remind you what you're missing? They do say that the more you have the more you want and I find it to be true.
    xxx
  • ....

    [Modified by: Mum to 1 on January 11, 2009 02:11 PM]

  • hi hun. try and do something to put the spark back? get some saucy underwear ? have a "date night" its easy to get too comfortable esp after a few years but its very imprtant to keep the spark going i think. hope it gets back to what it was soon for you xx
  • I feel exactly the same, i couldnt imagine my life without mike but i sometimes feel like we're just mates! Lo is only 5 weeks so we've not done the deed yet n didnt 4 about 3 weeks b4 she was born! This is fine by me n last night he started askin about my stitches so i lied n said i have gotta wait til after my hosp app next week b4 we can even think about it! I love cuddlin up 2 watch a dvd 2gether n stuff but feel like anythin sexual is a bit wrong! Cant really give u any advice but just thought i'd let u know that ur not on ur own! Hope we both find than man we fell in love with again soon x x
  • I feel exactly the same, i couldnt imagine my life without mike but i sometimes feel like we're just mates! Lo is only 5 weeks so we've not done the deed yet n didnt 4 about 3 weeks b4 she was born! This is fine by me n last night he started askin about my stitches so i lied n said i have gotta wait til after my hosp app next week b4 we can even think about it! I love cuddlin up 2 watch a dvd 2gether n stuff but feel like anythin sexual is a bit wrong! Cant really give u any advice but just thought i'd let u know that ur not on ur own! Hope we both find than man we fell in love with again soon x x
  • Hi Lizzi
    Sent you a message on the trying for baby forum.
    lilou x
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