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How often do you visit your inlaws?
Hey ladies, my lo is 8 months old, she is our first, now most of you know that i live in Germany with my German oh, i adore him. But i dont get along well with his overpowering mom, whom i believe wanted him to marry a German.
Anyway, they live 3 hour drive from us, my husband works everyday from 7:30 a.m till 6:30 p.m and we go to bed at 8:00, so actually we dont get to have anytime with each other, he also works everyother weekend.
Since we moved to this city (actually since lo was born) they have been visiting us everyother weekend and we have been going to them everyother weekend, for 3 nights.
Please dont get me wrong, i am grateful to the fact that they love their granddaughter and their son, but i need some time with my family, one weekend per month.
so last week (2 weeks after their visit, as my oh worked the following weekend), i told my oh, no, i wont go, i want to relax and spend sometime with my family, he tried to convince me that his parents will be sad, i told him so will i. I mean for God sakes, my family dont get to see me except twice a year.
So we didnt go, we had a wonderful weekend, my husband works this wekend and the next, then the emotional exploitation begins, every day, we get the call how sad they are, how much they miss their dear little mouse, how time goes so slowyly. that it is almost a month and soon will be two months (er no, it is 3 weeks and no er, after my oh works for 2 consecutive weekends we will go to them the following weekend, which will be 5 weeks after their visit, and oh second free weekend)
Am i being mean? i dont want to separate my oh from his family, but i want mine
thanks
Love
Renee
Anyway, they live 3 hour drive from us, my husband works everyday from 7:30 a.m till 6:30 p.m and we go to bed at 8:00, so actually we dont get to have anytime with each other, he also works everyother weekend.
Since we moved to this city (actually since lo was born) they have been visiting us everyother weekend and we have been going to them everyother weekend, for 3 nights.
Please dont get me wrong, i am grateful to the fact that they love their granddaughter and their son, but i need some time with my family, one weekend per month.
so last week (2 weeks after their visit, as my oh worked the following weekend), i told my oh, no, i wont go, i want to relax and spend sometime with my family, he tried to convince me that his parents will be sad, i told him so will i. I mean for God sakes, my family dont get to see me except twice a year.
So we didnt go, we had a wonderful weekend, my husband works this wekend and the next, then the emotional exploitation begins, every day, we get the call how sad they are, how much they miss their dear little mouse, how time goes so slowyly. that it is almost a month and soon will be two months (er no, it is 3 weeks and no er, after my oh works for 2 consecutive weekends we will go to them the following weekend, which will be 5 weeks after their visit, and oh second free weekend)
Am i being mean? i dont want to separate my oh from his family, but i want mine
thanks
Love
Renee
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Replies
I agree that it is wonderful they care so much, but there is a difference between caring and suffocatind and although it may seem they dont see you all much, they do compared to the time you have as a family x
ashy x
Your not being unreasonable, your family time has to come first once every 5 weeks is not unreasonable at all for that distance away. Don't listen to the emotional blackmail and get your hubby to speak with them.
xxxxx
Thank you ladies for replying, lets see how it goes next month
Love
Renee
You're definitely not being unreasonable - I don't think I could manage going away with ds that often because it just disrupts him and he never sleeps as well away from home as he does in his own bed!