🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
Did your birth experience affect your baby?
I was with a friend today who has 3 children, and the two who she had difficult births with were 'difficult' babies, whereas the one with a straightforward birth was an easy baby. By difficult I mean various issues with feeding, not a good sleeper, crying a lot for unknown reasons etc.
I had a crap birth with Sam and although he is what I would call very easy now, for the first few mpnths he would only sleep well in my arms and wanted to be BFed all the time for comfort. I accepted this as normal baby behaviour, but I wonder if he was traumatised in some way from how he entered the world. He was badly cut and bruised by forceps, and couldn't even open his eye for over a week due to forceps cut, so it wasn't a very reassuring start to life... (
How do you think your birth experience affected your LO, if at all?
xx
I had a crap birth with Sam and although he is what I would call very easy now, for the first few mpnths he would only sleep well in my arms and wanted to be BFed all the time for comfort. I accepted this as normal baby behaviour, but I wonder if he was traumatised in some way from how he entered the world. He was badly cut and bruised by forceps, and couldn't even open his eye for over a week due to forceps cut, so it wasn't a very reassuring start to life... (
How do you think your birth experience affected your LO, if at all?
xx
0
Replies
I think that's what cranial osteopathy is meant to correct in some way, issues from difficult births in most cases.
My best friends first labour resulted in a emergency section after baby got stuck and she is a nightmare baby and hasn't slept a full night, had terrible colic, is always ill and extremely demanding. Her second was a quite quick and easy VBAC and is the polar opposite to her sister, sleeps well, eats well, no issues at all in 8 months. So in her case it could be contributed to her labours and birth experience.
Have you had any closure on your experience like a meeting with MW or consultant to go over your notes, its seems to still be on your mind alot? Tell me to bugger off if I'm being daft.x
It's on my mind a lot because I really want baby number 2 but the thought of all that again is putting me off (oh, and two trimesters of puking constantly :roll: ). Have just moved to new area so won't be at same hospital, and not sure whether they will let me meet with consultant rather than midwife only when I'm next pregnant. My GP in last town offered my counselling but that's what my friends and you lot are there for!
xxx
I'm sure you'll be really well looked after this time and Sam is a gorgeous little boy and I'm sure worth it all in the end, its just horrendous that you experienced it in the first place but they do say no 2 labours/births are the same. So the next one will just pop out when you sneeze!!!!
Keeping my trap shut now Sorry I feel awful.x
like that again. Dds birth mirrored almost exactly my birth so I'm hoping number 2 mirrors my sisters birth. My mum had her out within half an hour of hospital breaking her waters!!
I had an easy birth, and I would say an easy baby, but I am not sure if that's rose tinted glasses or not. I know I had terrible problems feeding, but in the grand scheme of things, I had a happy contented baby.
When you are pregnant with number 2, they will go through your notes from Sam. I found this so helpful, and now I have a plan of action to avoid any repeats of the things that went wrong last time. I feel much more relaxed this time!!
I had a difficult birth too; induction, back to back labour, baby's head coming out the wrong angle which resulted in a forceps delivery
However my DD was/is a little treasure - slept well (the odd bumpy bit along the way!!!), ate well (FF) and generally a chilled out baby.
The birth still plays on my mind A LOT too; mainly because I'm having an op done to repair my episiotomy - had a pretty rough recovery. I've been offered to go and speak with the consultant before we even embark on TTC no.2 so I'm looking forward to that.
I've already been told I would have to have a c-section next though.
Sorry for going off on one there!!!! But to answer your question; IMO no I don't think so xxx
My friend was saying her two sons (who are grown up now) were very different as babies. Her first labour was long and hard and then she battled with breastfeeding and exhaustion and gave up at 8 weeks. She said he was an 'easy' baby - sleeping through, eating well, etc. Her second was a quick and easy labour, she says she managed on NOTHING because she was so out of it in her first labour, she was petrified of the same thing in her second so wouldn't let anyone give her anything! It only took a few hours, but her second baby was a difficult sleeper, constantly wanted holding, etc.
By the way, I'm like you, I'm very apprehensive of another baby. It stops me sleeping, lol!
Hannahs_Mummy - do they really go through your notes with you? That sounds wonderful! I don't want to be pregnant before they do it though...
however, she does feed a lot, and has always comfrt sucked at the breast. i dont see this as a problem though as it increases my milk supply for her. better for baby to be at the breast in the early days than on a dummy.
Hannahs_Mummy - do they really go through your notes with you? That sounds wonderful! I don't want to be pregnant before they do it though...
I was quite surprised when they got my notes out at my booking appointment I was saying to the midwife "well last time such and such happened", and she got my notes out and explained everything. She answered every question I had.
I think you can do it before you are pregnant, my friend had a horrific birth, and needed to go through it to get closure. Not sure who you would ask though?
if ur still struggling with ur birth and labour u can ask ur hv and/or gp (or even surestart or PALS) to put u in touch with a 'birth after thoughts' counsellor, most areas offer a service like this, where at any time (even if ur lo is at school by then) where u can meet with a midwife trained in counselling who will go through ur notes and discuss them with u face to afce so u can address any issues and see what can be done next time to stop history repeating itself..i found it a huge help, the midwife referred me to a further counsellor which is where i then got diagnosed with ptsd (where as my gp had thought pnd). i found it really helped me to understand everything that had happened and why, and she even wrote a letter to the matron of the maternity unit outlining a lot of the issues that had arisen, on my behalf and i'm due to meet the matron soon so we can talk through what can be done this time, as i'll be giving birth at the same hospital and there were a few 'minor' errors made on their part (which came to light in the birthafterthoughts meeting) that had they not happened i might have had an entirely different experience, the birth may have been the same, but it would most likley have been far less traumatic. hope this helps. xx 26+3
ps, u don't ahve to be expecting babbyno2 to do that counselling meeting, i had mine a year ago when ds was 8months old. neotehr my mws nor my consultant this time have bothered going thorugh my notes from last time, which i thought they were going to do at my 20wk consultant appointment, so nobody has even dicussed my issues from last time yet, just asked if i want vbac or planned c sec...
[Modified by: WoW Baby on September 05, 2010 07:41 PM]
I talked to the Drs after his birth and have been given options for no 2 but at the moment I can't face it.
[Modified by: bodlondon on September 05, 2010 07:45 PM]
one of my firends says the same. she started off in a midwife until for her first and ended up blue lighted to hospital for a section. her second started in hosptal and turned into a very serious section. really scary. she doesnt talk about it, just to say things like her hubby really spoiled her after as she nearly died.
do know i was lucky though. i did all the thigs they tell you to do to get baby into the correct position and hypnobirthing etc and was well-researched on everything! but i was very aware that all it took was baby to move in the wrong way and it could have been very different.
I think kids just have their quirks and personalities, and don't think they are in any way 'traumatised' by their birth emotionally speaking. I think sometimes a physically traumatic delivery can impact on them but cranial osteopathy can normally iron out any problems!
DS birth was a breeze! It was more painful as i didn't have pain relief but it was only like 5 hours long and pushing only a couple of minutes, no stitches or infections and i was shopping in Asda the day after! amazing! DS is now 9 weeks old and wow what a cool little dude he is... unbelievably easy i don't even know i have him! I mean maybe because he is my second i don't have time to fuss over him so he has learnt to entertain/settle himself but still at 9 weeks old i am yet to experience a screaming fit and he didn't even hardly cry when he had his jabs and had no reaction at all. I mean things could change but so far he has been fab.. he even goes bed at 7pm with dd and settles himself to sleep!
xx
My big fears for baby 2 are a bad pregnancy again, I was basically really sick all the way through, lost loads of weight, and a repeat of the birth. Oh and a tear, PND ...!
K xx
My big fears for baby 2 are a bad pregnancy again, I was basically really sick all the way through, lost loads of weight, and a repeat of the birth. Oh and a tear, PND ...!
K xx