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unhappy dad to be
Any advice on the following anyone?
I have a 3 year old already and had the implant to stop pregnancy. Me and it did not get along and out it came very recently only I have now discovered I am pregnant anyway much to the GP's shock and mine. I always wanted a second child but H doesn't. I mean REALLY doesn't. We were about to be financially comfortable for the first time and he sees this as a disaster. I had to go on my own to my dating scan today which was awful and fairly pointless because its too early to give a precise date (about 4-5 wks) and couldn't even tell whether its one or more babies.
He has had 2 weeks to get used to the idea and isn't. He is furious and says we will have "another 3 years of hell". I have not even had a hug and had to do a round trip of 540 miles just to get a cuddle from my mum. I can hardly eat or sleep since finding out and have lost a whole heap of weight which is not good. I want this baby but want it to be wanted by not just me.
I am hoping he will come round but am not sure he will. How do I make him see its a life and a whole new person to love and be loved by rather than something stopping him from buying designer kit and adding heaps to his pension. I am all out of clues.
?
I have a 3 year old already and had the implant to stop pregnancy. Me and it did not get along and out it came very recently only I have now discovered I am pregnant anyway much to the GP's shock and mine. I always wanted a second child but H doesn't. I mean REALLY doesn't. We were about to be financially comfortable for the first time and he sees this as a disaster. I had to go on my own to my dating scan today which was awful and fairly pointless because its too early to give a precise date (about 4-5 wks) and couldn't even tell whether its one or more babies.
He has had 2 weeks to get used to the idea and isn't. He is furious and says we will have "another 3 years of hell". I have not even had a hug and had to do a round trip of 540 miles just to get a cuddle from my mum. I can hardly eat or sleep since finding out and have lost a whole heap of weight which is not good. I want this baby but want it to be wanted by not just me.
I am hoping he will come round but am not sure he will. How do I make him see its a life and a whole new person to love and be loved by rather than something stopping him from buying designer kit and adding heaps to his pension. I am all out of clues.
?
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Replies
I think you have to focus on you and lo, try not to get too worked up and give him some space to get used to it.
It's only been 2 weeks so far.
Sorry don't have a miracle cure.
e.d.d 4th july
As for it being 'hell' well there's lots of help out there nowadays. If you're on a low income have you applied for child tax credits, there's also a ??500 grant available to buy baby things.
It's hard I know having your partner behave this way. I hope he sees how truly special this is and comes round soon.
Take care love, Karys xxx
Sounds like a right dilemma. What does your hubby want you to do?
Could you live with having a termination just to please him?
I'm sure you've been through all these thoughts and more over the last two weeks. You really need to get him to sit down with you and talk this all through.
You have three choices open to you.......
1) Hubby comes round and realises it takes two to tango, this should involve lots of apologising and chocolate and flowers etc.
2) Hubby doesn't come round. This leaves you to face being a single mum of two or option 3 (single mum of 2 route involves screwing him for every penny)
3) The dreaded T word. This option depends on how you feel about the whole pro-life debate.
I wish you all the best hun and hope things work out for you.
xx
im sure as the pregnancy progresses he will come round pregnancy is different for men than women. men get attatched when lo is born really wheras its different for us. he will love this child as much as the last one when its here. it must be such a shock at the moment but if you have seen baby on scan then it may be more real to you than to him. you need to sit down and discuss it together like applejack says perhaps when he is ready to discuss it (men are strange creatures) . im sure if you ride it out for a bit he will come round to the idea eventually. hope so for your sake and babys sake. lots love xx