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Not very supposrtive?
Hey girls,
Does ne1 feel that there partner doesnt do enough to support them during pregnancy?
I seem to buy all the baby things we will need, wen i ask him to take me 2 mothercare he says,"wot u need to go there for now " He gets fed up looking around wen im in my eliment getting all excited. When the baby is having strong movements i ask him if he wants to feel and he does put his hand on my tummy but seems very uninterested, n drifts off into watching the tv. If i have pains and tell him, he says u must of had them before tho. Is this natural?am i worrying to much? opinions would be appreciated, thanku xx
Does ne1 feel that there partner doesnt do enough to support them during pregnancy?
I seem to buy all the baby things we will need, wen i ask him to take me 2 mothercare he says,"wot u need to go there for now " He gets fed up looking around wen im in my eliment getting all excited. When the baby is having strong movements i ask him if he wants to feel and he does put his hand on my tummy but seems very uninterested, n drifts off into watching the tv. If i have pains and tell him, he says u must of had them before tho. Is this natural?am i worrying to much? opinions would be appreciated, thanku xx
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Replies
I spoke to hubby (several times) about how he needs to support more, be more interested and get ready for the birth that i really need him to be involved and loving and he always nods and says "sorry i will try harder" and then never does.
GGGGRRRRR to men!!!!!
Claudia 34+2
We need to be strong and if they dont wana be involved then thats there look out innit, theyl be missing out not us. Do u think its coz we r the ones carrying and therfore they find it difficult to interact?xx
Is ur oh going to be your birth partner? been thinking i might invite my mum as well so that if my hubby is rubbish and falls asleep (like he does at any other important point in time) at least i have someonewho understands!
xxx
I would never tell my hubby that he can't be at the birth but i reckon i will have my mum there too if only so she can wake him up for me!
xxx
I bought him 'A blokes guide to pregnancy' which I read before handing over and i thought it was great. It had a wonderful tone, was funny and covered all the main issues. He's read a few chapters and seems to have retained all the info he thinks he needs :
1. Stop nagging me. Your hormones are all over the place no wonder you're a moody cow.
2. Continue do to all things as normal. He seems to think this applies to me and includes all domestic chores and our sex life !
3. He will be spending loads of money and get no social life etc once baby is born. But instead of spending quality time with me while we still can, this seems to mean going to pub with mates/golf with mates etc at least once each weekend.
Thank god I'm not the only one having a moan about hubby ! Suz x
xxx
And carly - i have 6 weeks to go and my hubby is still saying we have loads of time to buy stuff...what worries me most is that i don't have anything for hospital bag yet. i even dreamt that sean slater from eastenders was at the birth and i had to send him out for nighties and disposable pants!!!
I also bought my hubby one of those pregnancy books for blokes when we were ttc - the overriding message appears to be that now is the time to go to the pub cos there won't be time/money after baby. not very helpful!
xxx
After that he seemed to buck his ideas up, he doesn't do a huge amount but he now tidies up after himself and is alot more attentive and spends time each night talking to and stroking my belly, he also makes the effort to ask me what I want to do at the weekend which is a bit of a novelty as it used to be him going to the pub with his brother and me sitting at home like a lemon thinking my life was over. Hes still not perfect but I can see he is trying so don't nag him anymore
It's a shame it took a real shock tactic to get him sorted but sometimes that is the only way.
Caz
xx
Steer clear of those books aimed at men ladies - the one we got actually advises spending as much time as poss in pub due to the fact that pregnancies turns wives into moody cows so best get the beers in and avoid going home. How rude! no wonder we are all stuck with useless men if thats what the standard advice is!!!
When he goes to the pub do nothing and say nothing don't try and call him and just act like nothing is happening, I know that sounds stupid but I do that with my hubby if he steps out of line lol and he starts asking why I'm not calling him and if I still love him etc. Also if he goes out on a saturday afternoon try and make sure you and lo are out when he gets back as that will throw him right off. If you show them you don't need them sometimes they buck their ideas up.
Sorry if I sounded like I was preaching then lol don't get me wrong my hubby can still be a right pain in the arse but the only reason I managed to sort him out is because of some fab advice I got from the ladies on here, otherwise I would still be in the same position and probably looking at being a single parent.
Caz
xx
My Partner does not seem bothered with kicks or stuff like that, and also when i have pains etc he thinks am joking.
I am always very tired and when i try and talk to my partner he goes on that i have more sleep than him.
When i spoke to him bout when i go into labour he seems to be really supportive and said he will help me in every way when i am in hospital etc so i suppose he is good but he hates me moaning
(for gods sake men we cant help it when we are pregnant and feeling all tired with pregnancy symptoms)
Girl power i say.
Annalisa xx
28.5 weeks
dn't worry, u don't sound preachy and i would love to hear any tricks that you may have up your sleeve for dealing with these troublesome men!!!
The latest is that he is nagging to go out sat night clubbing all night (we live nr Maidstone and we got a load of DJ's playing the clubs for that radio 1 weekend thingy) - not a chance!!!
I wish i could get hold of one of those fake bump thingys and some hormones and then strap hubby up for a few months and force feed him hormones that make him angry one minute, cry the next and happy the next! oh and then he would need to s**t a watermelon. see how bloody happy he is then!!!!!!
Going clubbing all night is not something you should do as a parent (some might not agree). Going out for the evening is fine but it sounds like he is struggling to grow up and except his responsibilities. Perhaps tell him you are going to go out one night and he can stay in and look after your lo. Do you ever get the chance to go out?
He chose to make babies with you therefore his life should be affected just as much as yours. My hubby would go to the pub on a sat afternoon and then ask me to pick him up at 10.30pm I would get there to pick him up and end up waiting until 12-1am for him to get his ass out of the pub, I used to go ape shit at him for it but it never seemed to get me anywhere so in the end I just acted like I didn't care and then all of a sudden he changed. I think he thought he was loosing me and so realised what he could have lost.
Caz
xx
I think he does find it hard to accept that it is time to grow up. a lot of his mates are still single and then the ones that are married just do what they want anyway and he doesn't seem to understand that i expect support - as you say, he chose to propose, marry me and then have kids and yet he still seems to get all the fun and none of the reality of it all! it has got better (his lying and going to the pub used to happen once or twice a week, now every 2-3 weeks) but i still feel that he will take any and every opportunity to be shot of us and go out. he doesn't go on his own very often (again used to be all the time) but i have to confess i get suspicious (is he really on his own? or lying about who he's with as well as where hes been?). i sound like a right muppet - i don't roll over and take it, i give him hell and have refused to speak to him for days, made him sleep on sofa, put his dinner in the bin when he's really late home etc. I have tried saying nothing about it but then he goes out more and stays out longer cos he thinks i'm suddenly fine with him doing it as i haven't moaned! now i try not to get angry but calmly explain (like i do with 5 yr old actually!) why i find his behaviour unacceptable, how it impacts other people and that i am very disappointed. he's a bit sheepish then. not sure he will ever not do it - would be nice! don't expect him to sit indoors and watch corrie every night for the rest of his life but i hate that he lies. And in answer to your question, i dn't go out really, mainly cos i have nobody to go out with (i moved away for 3 yrs then came back so lost touch with friends etc, and have worked fulltime since daughter 6 mths old so never got to know other mums) but am hoping that will meet some nice people through this baby when its born.
sorry for ranting!!! xxxxx
Whereabouts are you from? I also don't have any friends (a few family) around here because I also moved away then came back, I'm hoping to meet through mother and baby groups etc cos I don't want to loose adult conversation.
Caz