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What Would You Do?
in Baby
Hey everyone, just a bit of a "what would u do" moment lol...
When i found out i was pregnant my OH decided to get back in touch with his dad who he hadn't seen for over 10 years, anyway since JJ was born he's been round about once a month (about 6 times). Today OH got a phonecall which started as "i need to borrow ur baby" so OH asked why and apparently his dad had booked a photoshoot for JJ and his new wifes' grandaughter, this phone call was at 1.30pm and he wanted to pick him up an hour later and said he'd bring him back in about 2 hours! Anyway, we have never let anyone take JJ, even people close to him! We've had my mum look after him for an hour or so in our flat but that's all! So we made excuses and bascially his dad isn't very happy...what would u have done? Would you have let ur LO go off with someone they hardly know even if it is family? I hardly even know him and to be honest even tho he's OHs dad HE hardly knows him either as he hadn't seen him for like 10 years!! I'm just worried this is going to happen again, i don't know what i should say to them, should i let them take him?! x
When i found out i was pregnant my OH decided to get back in touch with his dad who he hadn't seen for over 10 years, anyway since JJ was born he's been round about once a month (about 6 times). Today OH got a phonecall which started as "i need to borrow ur baby" so OH asked why and apparently his dad had booked a photoshoot for JJ and his new wifes' grandaughter, this phone call was at 1.30pm and he wanted to pick him up an hour later and said he'd bring him back in about 2 hours! Anyway, we have never let anyone take JJ, even people close to him! We've had my mum look after him for an hour or so in our flat but that's all! So we made excuses and bascially his dad isn't very happy...what would u have done? Would you have let ur LO go off with someone they hardly know even if it is family? I hardly even know him and to be honest even tho he's OHs dad HE hardly knows him either as he hadn't seen him for like 10 years!! I'm just worried this is going to happen again, i don't know what i should say to them, should i let them take him?! x
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Replies
I do think it's oddt that he started the conversation with 'I need to borrow your baby'!!
[Modified by: Loopy Loo on March 17, 2009 05:08 PM]
just because he's related to JJ doesn't automatically mean he can play grandad whenever HE feels like it.
Maybe he needs to realise that relationships need to be built on and he can't be Mr Pepperpot overnight.
My mum has louise and she does like to have Louise on her own as they she gets her all to herself! But I trust my mum so feel happy leaving her with her. But she's never made a big thing of 'wanting her alone' it's always been me asking her to have her. Also louise knows her well from visiting her lots. Even though Louise knows her other grandparents well I wouldn't feel as comfortable as they wouldn't know what to do with her and find her exhausting when we visit!
I think that if they really do want to be 'more involved' it would be better if you could do activities together! And when JJ is old enough, when he can talk, ask for things etc then maybe they canhave him on his own.
We don't have much to do with our dads and of one of them came after the years we've not seen them and asked i'd say "hell no!" If its someone we don't mind but don't want taking them out we will just say both are poorly. With Grace its easy because she can't stand anyone other than me and sometimes her daddy so thats our excuse for her. lol
Theres loads when you think about it. lol.
Lisa xxx
Ellie's dad didn't see her for 7 months, walked away when she was 4 weeks old, took me to court expecting to be able to just come & take her unsupervised because 'he is her dad' until he got a short, sharp shock in the form of that baby doesn't know who the hell you are there's no bloody way she's going anywhere with you!
he still now almost 5 months down the line sees her twice a week in my company because i don't feel she knows him well enough to go off alone & him with her. i have to remind him to change her nappy, feed her, clean her face...all the wee dopey things we do all the time. he'd sit & play with her or take her out in the car & it wouldn't occur to him that she'd need something doing so until he is able to do these things without being prompted he won't get her.
i think this all sounds very strange the lack of notice, his insistence on having JJ on his own, hmmm bizarre in my opinion.
Best thing is to explain to him that JJ doesn't know him, you & OH don't really know him & it'll take time. Yous will always be there so no rush etc.
Good luck xox