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Lost A Baby And Now Me And My Partner Are Arguing So Much :(

My first pregnancy and I just lost the baby at 7 weeks. I know it wasn't far along but me and my partner were so excited already. I was so looking forward to feeling the baby kick and move and hiccup. I bought all the magazines I could, I researched everything I was worried about. I just couldn't wait to give birth to my baby and hear it cry as it took it's first breath in our world. So looking forward to holding my baby, feeling it's soft skin pressed against my own, looking into the baby's eyes and knowing that I would never find something so special, so precious, so proud to call my own in the whole of this world. :cry:

I had the scan on new years eve and they told me and my partner that the baby was gone. I nad never felt a feeling so upsetting, so depressing as that in the whole of my life, and I sure as hell hope that I never have to feel it again. Looking at the sadness in my partners eyes was so hard, knowing that he could see the sadness in mine.

We had a slightly patchy relationship before but it was on the road to recovery, and now I feel as though it's just going back down hill. We live together so maybe we do get a little bit to much of each other but I can't help noticing how bad things have gotten since we found out about losing the baby. I know I love him and I know he loves me, but I don't know what to do anymore. Should I just give him a bit of space and let him deal with it in his own time when he feels good and ready or should I try and talk to him about how he is actually feeling??

I want to stay in a relationship with him but I really don't know wehter this is going to be the end of us?? :cry:

All I need is to feel like someone is there for me. I need to hear a few kind and reassuring words. I just need a little advice on how this can be fixed. Can anybody help?? image xx


  • Hey, welcome to BE sorry it isnt under better circumstances. Having been through this myself I can completely understand how you are feeling. I doesn't matter how far along you are a baby is a baby and the loss is still felt. My husband and I have been together 11 years and married for 3 and are best friends and we rowed when we lost our little one. The problem is it is a completely different experience for men. It is not growing in them. My husband tried to stay strong for me and say all the right things when all I really wanted was a cuddle. After a few months he actually broke down. He didn't know how to deal with it because he could see what it was doing to me, crying myself to sleep at night and breaking down seeing other pregnant woman. We finally have our baby but it took us 2 years and she is the best thing that has ever happened to us but at the same time she has put a huge strain on our relationship. The sleepless nights the crying I wouldn't change her but what I am trying to say is look after yourself for now and repair your relationship before dealing with a baby. Losing a baby is the hardest thing in the world make sure you grieve properly and take the time to deal, with it and make sure you keep talking to each other. Lastly there is really good support in the trying to conceive after miscarriage forum whether you are actively trying or not, I would not have got through it without being able to talk to people who know exactly how I was feeling. Good luck xxx
  • Thank-You xx I will make sure I keep talking and will fix our relationship for definate. I'm glad there are people out there who have gone through the same experience and feel able to talk about it image x I'm glad to hear it all worked out for you in the end and i'm sure you daughter is beautiful happy and lovedimage xxx
  • ive been through the same thing and i miscarried after seven weeks too. me and my fiance are best friends but after losing the baby we argued more and i felt like he didnt quite understand how i was feeling. we managed to sort it out and talk things through we were just really honest to eachother about how we felt and what we could do.

    we got one of those lanterns that you light that go into the sky and set it off in memory of the baby we would have had. now we are expecting again and im terrified but i wish you the best of luck xx
  • sorry to hear that image on new years eve we set off a lantern too it was really sad but we managed to pull through it. glad to hear your expecting again and good luck with it image xx
  • So sorry that you lost your baby, I lost a baby nearly 8 years ago at 16 weeks, a little girl, I was absolutely heartbroken, I have never felt such pain in my life, all I can say to you is take each day as it comes, me and my hubby had some of the worst arguments we have ever had after it happened, looking back this was because we didnt talk to each other about how we were feeling, I thought he didnt care, he never showed that he was upset, turns out he was trying to stay strong for me, he didnt realise that I needed to know how he felt so that it would help me to realise that it was ok for me to still be feeling sad weeks down the road. Talk to your partner, open your heart to him, it is still really early days and the loss is still so fresh in your mind but in time things will get easier, but it really does take time. Huge hugs xxxxxx
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