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Would you report update in OP

**UPDATE** I phoned this afternoon and reported, the lady was very nice and will pass the concerns on to the police. Thanks for everyone for replying, It gave me the kick up the bum i needed to do it. And thanks for those that gave the Crimestoppers numbers and links, Crimestoppers is who I reported it to.



  • It would really depend on how strong my suspicions were. How difficult if you do and if you don't.

  • Yes, I'd raise any concerns I had with social services. I'm not really sure what's led you to think this but I think if you have a strong suspicion as you put it then yes I'd report it.

  • Yes I would. I might approach the school first in case they have access to other information that I wasn't aware of or hadn't considered, but yes, I'd be speaking to someone.

    What a horrible situation.

  • If I'd 10% of an inkling that something wasn't right then I'd definitely speak to someone.

    If I was 100% sure ie child told me or is witnessed it then I'd be going to police, if there was things that I thought odd/concerned me/things I felt were inappropriate then even if it was just me thinking something here isn't right then if raise concerns, you might be the only person that has the concerns but you would be acting in the vest interests if the child. I'd either speak to school or if I had a strong suspicion speak to ss. They would look at the info and its then their decision to investigate.

  • I would be 10% sure to report it. I ahve reported it in the past. This isn't a subjective thing like house tidiness etc

  • Thanks for the responses, I guess i thought people would tell me to keep my nose out?

    ueen Igraine- what happened once you reported it and who did you report it to?

  • I'd report too, I'd rather be safe than sorry.

  • MooMoobear

    Thanks for the responses, I guess i thought people would tell me to keep my nose out?

    ueen Igraine- what happened once you reported it and who did you report it to?

    Reported it at work. Child never went home again as it was true. I actually never saw her again myself.

    When it comes to sexual abuse I wouldn't tell people to keep their nose out. Peopel spent too many years looking the other way with this and people like Jimmy Saville got away for decades harming more and more children.

  • Yes. Its people thinking they need to keep their nose out that is part of the problem. We all have to be part of the solution. I know you are probably worried about reporting but you will never forgive yourself if something is going on and you had the chance to stop it x
  • Thanks for all the advice. I may well delete later

  • Hiya MMB what did you decide to do?

  • Hi, I haven't reported. I really want to, but my H says to keep out of it. He doesn't want us getting involved. Theres so many things that make me think it.

  • What's his motivation for 'keeping out of it'?

  • Missed the beginning but get the jist. As a member of the public you can go to social services anonymously.

  • We've got a lot going on with court and issues. He doesn't want more stress for us all. And if the parents were to find out it was me, then we'd get a lot of hate ect. I know its nothing compared to what she is potentally (sp) going through. But what if we're wrong?

  • But what if you're right? As pebbles said you can tell social services anonymously. They'll investigate and act accordingly there is no reason that they'll know it's you, it could be anyone, if you have any concerns please tell them.

  • Doesn't sound like valid reasons to turn a blind eye to me. I would speak to whoever is the lead for social services concerns at the school, confidentially, and they may take it up on your behalf. Or write an anonymous letter. If someone was abusing my child I would HATE to find out someone decided not to tell because it might be a little bit inconvenient for THEM. There could be a handful of people who are all 'not quite sure' and that kid could be having their life wrecked.

    And if it's a false alarm - so what? The potential harm of that is a fraction of what's could well be happening. Plus you can stay anonymous which negates the 'it's too much bother for us' argument.

    I understand your reticence but I wish you would change your mind. I would never let my husband stop me taking action on something like this, he'd have to lump it as my conscience would drive me to do it regardless.

  • MooMoobear
    I know its nothing compared to what she is potentally (sp) going through.

    I'm going to be incredibly blunt here - if you had ever had the misfortune to read any serious case reviews for abused/murdered children that I have had to for work, you would know that this is what lots of people - general public/social workers/teachers/health visitors do - it's called minimisation - "Oh it might not be that, it might not be that bad, I might be wrong, it's too much hassle to get involved,, someone else will report it if it's THAT bad, " etc, etc, etc.  

    I never saw your original post, but I don't need to.  For god's sake report whatever it is, you can do it anonymously from a payphone if you really want, you won't have to give a statement or go to court (or do anything else that might actually be useful and help that child) or be named in any way.  Quite often it's lots of little bits of info that are put together like a jigsaw that triggers action if needed, and if not, it stays on a file and no one is any the wiser. 

  • But you can't keep out of it, there's obviously something that's triggered you to think something isn't right, so for me that means that you can't keep out of anything as you have picked up on something that may well be innocent but by keeping out if things it might mean this child has to carry on living a nightmare.

    You can even make anonymous phone calls to child line, speak to school/write to school/speak to ss/go/hv or write to them anonymously

    The child may even be known to ss so this info may not be unexpected.

    Ask your h what he would do if someone decided to 'keep out if it' if it was someone close to him

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