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Just lost my first baby due to a missed miscarriage....

Hi everyone,
well i'm new to all of this but have been looking through this website for the past 3 weeks,
I'm only 18 and found out exactly 6 weeks ago today that i was pregnant! It come as quite a shock as it wasnt planned but after i had told my partner we both decided to keep the baby and were very excited about it.
I had my first midwife appointment on 19th may and found out i should be 12 weeks that week and we were booked in for our first 12 week scan which was so exciting.
The big scan day came and instead of seeing our beautiful 12 week baby we saw an empty 3 week gestational sac....BIG SHOCK!
We were told to return for a re-scan on 5th june and to keep our hopes up, it could just be an early on pregnancy. The days went slowly and it got to thursday 4th when i woke up with bad cramps and bleeding...into hospital it was to then confirm it is more than likely a miscarriage.
It was upsetting but things only got worse when i got taken into hospital at 3am sat/sun morning! i was kept in but insisted on coming home that sunday afternoon which they agreed to.
Had a scan today and finally been told after 3 long weeks that the baby is gone and i am no longer pregnant.
I was expecting the news but also cant help feeling sad and down, also angry as i feel i have done something to bring all this on!
My partner and myself would really like to try again for another baby but not too sure when to start again and if the same thing will happen all over again which i dont think i could cope with!
Any ideas and answers would be so greatful as im confused :\?
Thank you Emma


  • Hi Emma

    I was told last Friday the 5th that my gestational sac had collapsed. I thought I was 7 weeks but the sac had only grown to 5 weeks.
    My husband and myself were so upset, we had been so excited for weeks and were looking forward to our first scan.

    We too are keen to try again and to be honest we will probably try as soon as I ovulate this cycle. I am praying that the same thing will not happen to us again twice in a row.

    I'm not very good with advice as my head has been swimming this past week as well, but just wanted to let you know that there are other people going through the same thing

  • Hi Emma,

    Sorry you've had join us in these circumstances. I think the main thing is to realise that these feelings are all completely natural. It is unlikely that you did anything to cause the mc. There's no reason to wait to start ttc again and you'll both know when you feel ready.

    When I lost my first bean all I wanted to do was get started again, where as second time round I've needed a bit more time to heal. TTC after mc is a difficult place to be because you're so scared and excited at the same time. I've had to put down our losses to just one of those things and statistically it probably won't happen again. It's what gets me through anyway.

    Not sure if I've been any help or just rambled, but we're all here to listen and provide a shoulder to cry on.

    Take care of yourself.

    Sam x
  • hi there i'm really sorry to hear about your loss. please remember NOTHING you have done or haven't done has caused this. as sad as it is it is just one of those things that happens. i had a early mc last month and have started ttc straight away as that was what i wanted but you must do what feels right for u and ur partner. with hindsight i wish i'd waited for 1 af first before trying as my cycle is a bit messed up but do what feels right.
    you have the right to feel sad, angry and confused about your loss but there is plenty of support here for you when you need it.
    you only need to look at the number of ladies from this forum who have now got their bfps to see that it will happen for you. good luck and hope ur feeling better soon xxx
  • I am very sorry to hear about your loss. It's a terrible feeling being excited and starting to plan things for your baby and then finding out you've lost it. I lost my angel 8 weeks ago and had a d&c done, but that one would have been my 2nd child (I have a 2 year old son already). My advice to you is to relax while TTC and just have fun with it! I am also TTC right now and sometimes it seems as if I'm making that the whole reason for BDing lol. You will be able to tell when the right time is to start trying again. My dr said that it's safe to try again after at least 1 cycle (although he said most will tell you 3 cycles). Hang in there and I hope you get your BFP soon!!!! ****Baby Dust***:\)
  • Hi Emma,

    I am really sorry for your loss.

    To be honest, you can start ttc as soon as you feel up to it. Most people tend to wait one cycle - more for dating purposes than anything else. But there is nothing to stop you ttc once you feel physically and emotionally ready.

    Take care sweetie.

    Edie xxx
  • Hi Emma
    so sorry for your loss and that you've had to join our forum but the people on here are very supportive and can really understand what you are going through - take time for yourself and your boyfriend and hope you can try again when you're feel ready
  • Aw huni I just wanted to send you a huge hug, you have certainely been through it. Pg is a shock when you are expecting it let alone when you are not then to have it so cruelly ripped away. I am so sorry. We are all here for you though, we have all been through it so we understand what you are going through. You can start trying again as soon as you are ready, they will probably tell you to wait a couple of cycles but that is really just for emotional reasons and to get your cycles back to normal, that will take a while. You need to put your feet up and greive first xx hope you are ok
  • Thank you everyone for your kind replies and support image
    I woke up feeling a little better today and am trying to have a more positive outlook on my life atm.
    My partner is being so supportive and is also more then happy to try again. Its more difficult right now because i have so many friends having babies and its just hard listening to them talk about it.
    Also seeing as im a nursery nurse and look after tiny babies is difficult. I have been signed off work for 2weeks and now feel like i cant and dont want to go back when the time comes :S
    Just cant wait for this bleeding to stop! How long does it usually carry on for before it tends to stop? Also will i have a period straight away?
  • Hi Emma,

    Firstly I am really sorry to hear what you have been through. I too had a mmc at 12wk scan sac was only measuring 6wks & was abnormal shape.

    It is difficult seeing pg women or babies at the moment but given time it will become easier to deal with. You should take as much time as you need, I took a month off work cause didnt feel I could cope, I'd had so many symptoms it took a bit of getting used to not having them or having some & knowing I was losing baba.

    When you had the other scan in hospital did they say you had passed the pg? I was told it can take a couple of weeks for the bleeding to stop but I had an erpc as was also admitted for flooding & after this only spotted.
    Your period will vary hun some have them return as normal some wait quite a while, the hosp normally say 4-6 wks but alot of women wait longer.

    I hope this somehow helps & sending you lots of hugs xxx
  • sorry to hear that image
    are you also trying again?
    Yep i had a scan yday and they said it had all passed, she asked me if i knew or had any idea of it passing ans i was like yep! Went the tues night and as soon as i sat on the loo it passed and it was most horrible feeling ever!
    I had so many pg symptoms but they have all gone now.

    My hubby is off to south africa next thurs for 18 days for the rugby lions tour! so im thinking of getting myself sorted and hopefully i will have had a period and can be ready to resume baby making when he returns lol.

    Im that excited to have a baby i have given up drinking and coffee and am still continuing to take my folic acid tabs in hope i will fall pregnant when we start trying again.

  • Hi Emma,

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Mc is a truly terrible thing, and like all the others have said previously it is nothing that you have done that has caused this to happen, It is perfectly normal to have all these feeling and we have all been there. You have found the right place to ask for advice or just sound off if you need to there is always someone on here with some word of comfort or advice.

    Just give youself time to heal, both physically and mentally before you start thinking about work, and seeing other pregnant ladies. It will take time and it will be painful but you will get there.
    As for the bleeding it really is a personal thing I bled for about a week after my MC and then my first AF after came at 30 days after MC. Before my cycle was always 28 days.
    As for ttc again you dont ahve to wait but again like the others say most ladies wait until after there first AF.
    Take Care xx
  • Hi hun! So sorry to hear of your mc, you are in the right place for support here! I had a mc 4 weeks ago- went to 12 week scan and found baby had died at 9 weeks, we were devastated! We decided to try again straight away- as soon as I felt up to it! But now I'm feeling very confused as I have no idea when to expect my first AF, or when to test! And, like you i'm scared of having another mc if I do get pg!

    You should do whatever feels right for you- you have youth on your side if you do decide to wait- I am a bit older which is one of the reasons we decided to TTC straight away!

    Take care of yourself, keep your chin up, hope you get another bfp very soon! xx

  • Hi, so sorry to hear about your loss. I don't think that anyone can understand what it is like until they have been through it, and it must have been very difficult to have it dragged out over such a long time from first finding out. I think you just need to give yourself time like the others have said, until you feel you are ready. It seems to vary so much from person to person, so just do what feels right for you. I had an early mc but had to wait for my 1st AF as my hormones were doing strange things, and in hindsight I think that was probably right for me, although I did want to start trying again straight away.

    Sending you lots of hugs, xxx
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