Yeah I think we all do d super mum thing............Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon with a friend i haven't seen for a while and it was great to be out of the house for almost the whole day.......I think d four walls of d house make u worse cause your job is at home,washing,cleaning,cooking n looking after little one,so it feels like your perm stuck at work,like living at d office like......... He will look after Leah usually twice a week for about 1n half hours in d eve while i go to d gym,but i always feel bit guilty cause i know hes had a hard day at wrk and in d eve she can be quite a little handfull,especially if shes tired. It dont really help matters that im still b/feeding her either..........Im trying to reduce the amount of feeds i give her but it aint easy when u got a little one trying to pull your top down crying! I think its prob going to be easier to go cold turkey with her,which i gave her a deadline of 12mths!. But i can definitely say to others that it is helping me alot to get out of the house as much as possible. Tho for me,it helps when i meet up with people and chat. As compared to if just me n Leah go for walk example,tho i still do it for about 2 hrs every day with her. mainly i take her to the park etc or for a walk on the coast road as d sea air is nice.
hi you sound a bit brighter are you feeling any better. i agree with the supermum thing. i dont think any of us should feel like a failure. we carried them for 9 months and gave birth to them i think that in itself deserves a little time off now and again. xx
Hi Bex, the doctor has put me on antidepressants. She called out yesterday and found me on my hands and knees hoovering under the sofa with a duster in my mouth. She said this was classic PND and i was trying too hard to get everything done. I have excepted i need help now. Its a vicious circle, i feel guilty at not wanting to be around Ellie and then when im not i cry because im a bad mother and then i feel guilty all over again. When the doctor told me it wasnt my fault and its normal to feel like this because of the hormones and that i could not have prevented it from happening i started crying like a baby and didnt stop for nearly half and hour. I was so relieved that something was being done and that someone wasnt blaming me. I started me tablets today but wont find them effective for a week or so apparently. How are you feeling? did you get a chance to speak to your OH? How did the gym go? i would need to go as my backside has expanded at a rate that is totally abnormal during pregnancy and its not getting any smaller with me sitting on it now a month after having the baby! LOL. Diane. xxx
hey guys! i do also find that getting out of the house and having a chat with people really helps, but only at the time as soon as i'm home again o/h manages to p' me off! he's driving me mad at the mo, i think he should be taking the tablets not me!! i also dont have any friends really and trying to make some when your depressed about yourself isn't easy especially when i'm a quiet person anyway. i did have a friend that i haven't seen in years round the other day she has 2 kids now so it was nice to catch up. i have also found the netmums site really helpful, has anyone been on there? you can chat to other mums in your area and meet up (if you want) diane, which tablets have you been given? i was told that mine (citalopram) could take 4-6 weeks to work! i've been on them for 6/7 weeks and gp has up'd the dose from 10- 20mg but i still don't feel that they do anything! are you alone with baby all day? luckily my o/h isn't working so can look after the kids during the day and i absolutely hate being left alone with them, argh, i just don't know what to do with them, i normally just go out, take them to the park or something! it must be awful dealing with a demanding newborn when you feel that way! but it's not your fault hun, you are doing the best you can and are getting help. you obviously love your daughter or you wouldn't feel guilty would you.
Hi mumto2, the doctor gave me fluoxetine 20mgs a day, i hope they work soon, id just like to feel normal again. The doc also said that the PND could be because i had a terrible pregnancy, i had bleeding, bloodpressure, pregnancy rash, low amniotic fluid, supposidly a huge baby so sent for sizing scans that were wrong anyway as she was only 5lb 13ozs and i got married at 6 months pregnant to top the whole stress off! The the birth was so quick, i was only in hospital 1 hour when she was born. I am at home all day on my own with Ellie but my mum does call over or me to her most days as i hate being on my own with her. I know this will change but at the moment i just cant handle it especially when i havnt slept in days. She slept from 1am to 7am then took a feed and went down at 7.30 till 10.30 and i feel so much better now. Where are you from? are there any groups for mothers and babies near you? we have sure start groups where i am in northern ireland but i find them a bit boring and i dont think i will go back any time soon. You are lucky your OH can take the kids for you, what age are they? x
hi ladies how is everyone doing? i've been feeling good recently, looking forward to xmas, been doing my xmas shopping. is everyone else sorted for xmas? we are putting our tree up today too i still have my moments when i get stressed out and can't calm down and am snapping at everyone but hopefully the anti-d's are starting to work as this is happening less often. Diane, i've started going to one group which is really good and i hope to start going to another one in the new year. i think it does help to get out of the house and chat with people. couldn't you try a different group or activity? dunno about where you live but in my area there are loads of different things (so i've no excuse!) p.s i have harry 4 and luke is 10 months, how old is your l/o now?
Hi Mumto2, Ellie was 6 weeks old yesterday. She is getting big and is putting on 9 ozs a week. We havnt really got much going on where i live as i live in the country and only small villages near me. I will make an effort after christmas and get out more with other people as at the minute im just seeing my mum or my sister. I do feel better and i think the medication is working. Im still very tired and still feel very crap at times when Ellie is very yappy and Gary isnt being much help. I havnt got my shopping done but will do over the weekend. What have you bought your LOs?
Hi Mumto2, Ellie was 6 weeks old yesterday. She is getting big and is putting on 9 ozs a week. We havnt really got much going on where i live as i live in the country and only small villages near me. I will make an effort after christmas and get out more with other people as at the minute im just seeing my mum or my sister. I do feel better and i think the medication is working. Im still very tired and still feel very crap at times when Ellie is very yappy and Gary isnt being much help. I havnt got my shopping done but will do over the weekend. What have you bought your LOs? x hey diane, glad your starting to feel better, i think my meds are finally starting to work too, i do feel like crap when i don't have enough sleep though. o/h is being a miserable git today though anyway, not spending much money this xmas just got a few little bits for the kids nowt big. are you getting ellie anything? have to go as l/o is trying to eat the pc!! danielle xx.
[Modified by: mumto2,24 on December 05, 2007 02:04 PM]
Hi Girls. Just got back from Barcelona....Was a fun holiday tho had very little sleep,as went up with a bunch of friends and visited almost every pub?club possible. We prob slept a average of 3hrs per night,so u can imagine how tired i was when i got back tues. slept for almost 2 days lol. I took the breast pump with me,but on the 3/4 day my milk had reduced alot,so when Leah tried to feed from me when i got back Tues i really didnt have alot and she was getting frustrated so that made me feel a bit bad...but its starting to increase again now. The holiday did me good although on one of Sun eve me and o/h had a bit of a argument,which obviously wasnt much fun. But it got settled kinda by d time we went to bed. Ive noticed that im not really crying for no apparent reason anymore BUT if anything happens which is a bit stressful im still very emotional and easily wound up. Im not sure if thats pnd or just stress now ???? Danielle you mentioned that your o/h is Moody etc....whats d prob? As its bad enough with pnd,let alone having someone else in a grump..... I also have to take it very very easy this xmas,which is a bit depressing as i love buying everyone lovely gifts,but we over spent on d hol,and we just got our elec bill which came to lm400 which is around 700 sterling i think ( Anyways just wanted to say hi to everyone. Take care and talk soon. Got loads and loads of housework to do..........Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh XXX
hey bex hope you've got your housework done by now i'm glad you managed to have a good holiday and managed to catch up on your sleep too. my o/h is miserable coz he's not working, stuck in the house with the kids all day, we've got no money etc.... but... he has a job!!! yey! although it's only part time for now and we have to sort out hours so we can work around each other, it's a start at least! we've both been ill the last few days but fingers crossed i'm over it now coz i can't afford to miss any more work! we're having a cheap xmas again this year (hopefully we'll have more money next year!) only buying for the kids and i'm almost done, just need to buy a few last minute things... 18 days til xmas!!!
are you back to breast feeding leah? was she taking bottle while you were away? omg was your elec bill for the year!! lol!
also we might have a working car by xmas!!! o/h has just passed his test and we have a car that needs mot'd etc. it's in the garage the 21st (as long as we still have the money) so will hopefully be able to get around soon, yippee!! bye for now, hope everyone is well, try to relax and be positive xx.
The elec bill was for 5 mths. I think its very expensive in Malta,what u think? There is a post lazy men. Lol i was just on it ranting about oh. as honestly he is doing my bloody head in! The hol was nice but like i said we had a bit of a tiff sun which did spoil it. We went up with a bunch of Matthews friends and although i agreed to stay with them as a group a majority of the time i did explain to Matthew that i also wanted us to have a little time alone too,which he agreed to! In the 3 days we were there I asked for only one hour on the last day to go buy a few gifts,his reply was first we see what everyone else wants to do. I got upset by this as i never once complained and we were with them every bloody second except to use d bathroom! I feel that the more you give to a guy the more they expect. Im still upset as we ended up hardly talking till Mon morn.
did everyone survive xmas? hope you had a fab time and managed to relax and pamper yourself how is everyone feeling at the minute? i'm very positive right now have lots to look forward to, luke's 1st birthday at the end of the month etc. still have my off days but i think thats normal for everyone isn't it?
any new years resolutions? (best wishes for 2008) xx.
Hi everyone. Yeah was nice over d hols,but unfortunately everyone is sick now so ive been stuck in for a whole week. Depression comes and goes,but alot less these days and as ive said b4 its always better when i get out more,but obv since Leah has been sick with cold ive not taken her out much.
aww poor leah and poor mum for not being able to get out!! lol! glad depression is less, hope you are taking care of yourself and getting out as much as poss. how are things with you and your partner? any plans to get back to the gym? everyone gets ill this time of year don't they? we all had bad colds then sickness bug then more colds!! but finally getting over it i think!
Yeah me n o/h ok,still seem to argue over domestic chores...........................................yeah! Nanna has been v sick 2,and she usually minds Leah while I go to d gym so its been over a mth since ive been. Leah is still full up with a cold and her nose is so sore poor lil thing,im constantly wiping it as its like a leaky pipe and then applying cream. How do u feel Mum2, 24 hehehehe just imagine if u had 24kids lol!
i'd like to say a big thank you for the kind words you posted for me. please dont worry about that car you and your son are ok and thats what matters! your fella does love you and wants to speak to you, he probably doesn't know how to deal with your PND, mine doesn't know how to deal with feelings too well either (its a man thing) i do hope you feel better vey soon. oh and he is right about meeting other people especially ones with similar experiences to you, just to talk if nothing else, its a 1st step well done! x x
Thanks Gravie. Im alot better now. Jan is always a bad mth aint it. Broke,bad weather tho over here its ok. Everyone sick! lol. Anyway good luck with your amino test. Dont be scarred,its better to know. Let us know how it goes and were always here to chat to for support.
i'm feeling much happier now still have a few bad days but just make sure i take care of myself, get enough sleep etc. are you still depressed do you think? tbh i think it's all about lifestyle changes... realising that you can't do everything yourself (ask for help with things), you need to take care of yourself spending time just relaxing doing what you want to do, getting outside, not worrying about the housework
Ok tx. Yeah agree to a extent but sometimes its just your hirmones to as b4 I was crying alot,even when I took Leah out. Much much better now,I think hormones have ret to norm. My pram had to go in for repairs,so due to the fact that we only have 1 car,which matt uses for wrk,ive been stuck in at home for a whole week and im really fed up and im sure Leah is too!
Replies
He will look after Leah usually twice a week for about 1n half hours in d eve while i go to d gym,but i always feel bit guilty cause i know hes had a hard day at wrk and in d eve she can be quite a little handfull,especially if shes tired. It dont really help matters that im still b/feeding her either..........Im trying to reduce the amount of feeds i give her but it aint easy when u got a little one trying to pull your top down crying! I think its prob going to be easier to go cold turkey with her,which i gave her a deadline of 12mths!. But i can definitely say to others that it is helping me alot to get out of the house as much as possible. Tho for me,it helps when i meet up with people and chat. As compared to if just me n Leah go for walk example,tho i still do it for about 2 hrs every day with her. mainly i take her to the park etc or for a walk on the coast road as d sea air is nice.
you sound a bit brighter are you feeling any better. i agree with the supermum thing. i dont think any of us should feel like a failure. we carried them for 9 months and gave birth to them i think that in itself deserves a little time off now and again. xx
Its a vicious circle, i feel guilty at not wanting to be around Ellie and then when im not i cry because im a bad mother and then i feel guilty all over again. When the doctor told me it wasnt my fault and its normal to feel like this because of the hormones and that i could not have prevented it from happening i started crying like a baby and didnt stop for nearly half and hour. I was so relieved that something was being done and that someone wasnt blaming me.
I started me tablets today but wont find them effective for a week or so apparently.
How are you feeling? did you get a chance to speak to your OH?
How did the gym go? i would need to go as my backside has expanded at a rate that is totally abnormal during pregnancy and its not getting any smaller with me sitting on it now a month after having the baby! LOL.
Diane. xxx
i do also find that getting out of the house and having a chat with people really helps, but only at the time as soon as i'm home again o/h manages to p' me off! he's driving me mad at the mo, i think he should be taking the tablets not me!!
i also dont have any friends really and trying to make some when your depressed about yourself isn't easy especially when i'm a quiet person anyway.
i did have a friend that i haven't seen in years round the other day she has 2 kids now so it was nice to catch up. i have also found the netmums site really helpful, has anyone been on there? you can chat to other mums in your area and meet up (if you want)
diane, which tablets have you been given? i was told that mine (citalopram) could take 4-6 weeks to work! i've been on them for 6/7 weeks and gp has up'd the dose from 10- 20mg but i still don't feel that they do anything!
are you alone with baby all day? luckily my o/h isn't working so can look after the kids during the day and i absolutely hate being left alone with them, argh, i just don't know what to do with them, i normally just go out, take them to the park or something! it must be awful dealing with a demanding newborn when you feel that way! but it's not your fault hun, you are doing the best you can and are getting help. you obviously love your daughter or you wouldn't feel guilty would you.
I am at home all day on my own with Ellie but my mum does call over or me to her most days as i hate being on my own with her. I know this will change but at the moment i just cant handle it especially when i havnt slept in days. She slept from 1am to 7am then took a feed and went down at 7.30 till 10.30 and i feel so much better now.
Where are you from? are there any groups for mothers and babies near you? we have sure start groups where i am in northern ireland but i find them a bit boring and i dont think i will go back any time soon.
You are lucky your OH can take the kids for you, what age are they? x
i still have my moments when i get stressed out and can't calm down and am snapping at everyone but hopefully the anti-d's are starting to work as this is happening less often.
Diane, i've started going to one group which is really good and i hope to start going to another one in the new year. i think it does help to get out of the house and chat with people. couldn't you try a different group or activity? dunno about where you live but in my area there are loads of different things (so i've no excuse!)
p.s i have harry 4 and luke is 10 months, how old is your l/o now?
well bye for now, hugs to everyone xx.
I havnt got my shopping done but will do over the weekend. What have you bought your LOs?
I havnt got my shopping done but will do over the weekend. What have you bought your LOs?
x
hey diane, glad your starting to feel better, i think my meds are finally starting to work too, i do feel like crap when i don't have enough sleep though. o/h is being a miserable git today though
anyway, not spending much money this xmas just got a few little bits for the kids nowt big. are you getting ellie anything?
have to go as l/o is trying to eat the pc!!
danielle xx.
[Modified by: mumto2,24 on December 05, 2007 02:04 PM]
Ive noticed that im not really crying for no apparent reason anymore BUT if anything happens which is a bit stressful im still very emotional and easily wound up. Im not sure if thats pnd or just stress now ???? Danielle you mentioned that your o/h is Moody etc....whats d prob? As its bad enough with pnd,let alone having someone else in a grump..... I also have to take it very very easy this xmas,which is a bit depressing as i love buying everyone lovely gifts,but we over spent on d hol,and we just got our elec bill which came to lm400 which is around 700 sterling i think
Anyways just wanted to say hi to everyone.
Take care and talk soon. Got loads and loads of housework to do..........Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
XXX
i'm glad you managed to have a good holiday and managed to catch up on your sleep too.
my o/h is miserable coz he's not working, stuck in the house with the kids all day, we've got no money etc.... but... he has a job!!! yey! although it's only part time for now and we have to sort out hours so we can work around each other, it's a start at least!
we've both been ill the last few days but fingers crossed i'm over it now coz i can't afford to miss any more work! we're having a cheap xmas again this year (hopefully we'll have more money next year!) only buying for the kids and i'm almost done, just need to buy a few last minute things... 18 days til xmas!!!
are you back to breast feeding leah? was she taking bottle while you were away? omg was your elec bill for the year!! lol!
also we might have a working car by xmas!!! o/h has just passed his test and we have a car that needs mot'd etc. it's in the garage the 21st (as long as we still have the money) so will hopefully be able to get around soon, yippee!!
bye for now, hope everyone is well, try to relax and be positive xx.
like my 'tickers'?
how is everyone feeling at the minute? i'm very positive right now have lots to look forward to, luke's 1st birthday at the end of the month etc. still have my off days but i think thats normal for everyone isn't it?
any new years resolutions?
(best wishes for 2008) xx.
glad depression is less, hope you are taking care of yourself and getting out as much as poss.
how are things with you and your partner? any plans to get back to the gym?
everyone gets ill this time of year don't they? we all had bad colds then sickness bug then more colds!! but finally getting over it i think!
i'd like to say a big thank you for the kind words you posted for me. please dont worry about that car you and your son are ok and thats what matters! your fella does love you and wants to speak to you, he probably doesn't know how to deal with your PND, mine doesn't know how to deal with feelings too well either (its a man thing) i do hope you feel better vey soon. oh and he is right about meeting other people especially ones with similar experiences to you, just to talk if nothing else, its a 1st step well done! x x
are you still depressed do you think? tbh i think it's all about lifestyle changes... realising that you can't do everything yourself (ask for help with things), you need to take care of yourself spending time just relaxing doing what you want to do, getting outside, not worrying about the housework
danielle xx.
how is everyone else???