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Potty Training nightmare-help!!!

Help! My son turned 3 in April and I can't get him out of nappies! He has a speech delay which I suppose is why we waited until he was closer to 3 before we attempted to start potty training.

I started with the softly softly approach (oh dear did you have a little accident) and the supposedly stress free way of putting pants on for an hour at a time and then switching back to a nappy. This didn't work as he just held it in until he got the nappy on again.

I'm past the softly softly approach now and i'm shouting at him when he has an accident because he knows he needs to go-he holds on until he is ready to burst-even when you put him on the potty and run water he still holds it in-and then five minutes later he is soaking and there is a puddle on the floor.

I've also tried bribing him with toys/bubbles/dvds etc, which gets him motivated for all of a day and then its just back to the same routine.

I've also left him in his wet bottoms for a while too but it still doesn't stop him from doing it again.

He starts nursery in September, and its so important that he goes-he needs to as it will help him with his speech and get him used to communicating with other kids but if I can't sort out the potty training soon he won't be able to go.

I'm desprate and at my wits end-can anyone give me a magical solution??? :cry:


  • I wish there was a magic answer! My little boy was 3 in Feb and is point blank refusing. He knows exactly what he is doing, has just decided that he is not doing on the toilet. He doesnt have speech issues, the reverse if anything, you can't shut him up and he is a very bright child (I'm not bragging, just feel like I have to say something good about him in justification really)

    If you contact your hv or surestart they can arrange for a nursery nurse to come and visit you to help (although this didnt work for us).

    I have been to his preschool meeting today and the teacher said that there was 6 children still in nappies last September and they are all dry now. I have also spoken to the hv and she said if he isnt sorted after 4 weeks in nursery to go back for further assessments.

    My advice - and believe me I have been there (9 weeks with no nappy and not one wee or poo on the nappy) Is to back off. You're probally getting yourself stressed, him stressed and not enjoying each other. Tell him everybody poo's and wee's and it should go into the loo and leave it at that.
    He might just shock you and start using it once the pressure is off, if not when he sees all his mates at nursery doing it he will probally go for it.

    Just remember, its not that unusual and you're not doing anything wrong. Good luck xxx
  • Oh, and in case you didnt know - nursery cannot discriminate against him for being in nappies/pull ups but they wont change them, he will come home soaked or worse!
  • I'm potty training my ds at the mo. He will be 3 in October and is starting pre-school in September. We went to his induction 2 weeks a go and we filled out lots of info for them regarding nappies andvwhere he is at with potty training. I explained that he is potty training at the mo and I would let them know what he is like in September. They said whatever I do at home they will do. They have a nappy Changing area & will change nappies/pull ups/pants and clothes if needed. I have to send him with whatever he might need, like spare clothes. So some nurserys/pre/schools wil change nappies.
  • Thanks for your suggestions guys, i'll take them on board. Since my first post we have had some success! He has started to pee in the potty-though I have to admit that I have been bribing him. He is really into fireman sam at the moment and has the fire engine, helicoptor and rescue jeep; but the only figure he had was fireman sam, so i told him that if he did his pee pees in the potty i would get him some other figures (he didn't know that i had already bought them). Anyway last Saturday he did sit on the potty and pee-but still had his pants and jogging bottoms on! It was a step in the right direction so i gave him the figures. We told him he was a great boy and called the grandparents to tell them of his success, but we did explain to him that he had to pull the pants down before he went. Since then he has been going in the potty without much protest but we are still switching between potty and nappy to ease the pressure on him (as i read in 'Potty Training Boys' by Simone Cave-Amazon ??3.97). He seen Toy Story 2 on tv last week and loved it so i've told him that if he can pee in the potty for 1 full week that i'll get it for him. I know bribing probably isn't the best thing to do, but fingers crossed its working for me. The next hurdle will be getting him to poo in the potty and then moving onto the toilet, i just hope we can get it sorted before September!

    We went to the pre school induction and they definitely don't take children who are not toilet trained, in fact the kids are expected to go to the toilet on their own without any adult help. I can understand their reasons for this afterall we have all seen the news and heard of how children in these environments have been exploited.
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