Time for a serious chat i think! your situation sounds complicated, but at the end of the day they're divorced and he's with you, so if that's what he's doing then he's cheating!
I had considered that, I don't want to be wih someone that's cheating on me though I have no idea what to say to him or to my mum or even quite where to put myself...
Sounds like you'll have to have a conversation with him and find out what exactly is going on and whether he does have some intention of getting back with his ex. When you say he's booked a holiday is that with his child and ex!? I would have a sit down and speak to your OH and find out if anything is going on before you mention anything about the pregnancy, that way you know that wont be effecting his answers to you. Have you been TTC or will this be unexpected by him?
I would explain to him how things have changed and that you feel like he's more distant (and give him examples of not being home like he used to etc) and see what he says and take it from there. Huge hug from me as I can't imagine what your going through xx
Sorry that you are in a little bit of a pickle at the moment, Are you 100% sure that he's cheating on you and it's not just your hormones?!... I think you need to have a big talk and find out whats been going on...! maybe it's just a misunderstanding?
Yes, I'd go for the sit down and conversation route before saying anything else. That way you are more likely to get honest answers. If you were thinking of ending things anyway, then do try and keep that in mind, amd your reasons why. As soon as you tell him you are PG he may insist on staying with you etc, but if that's the main reason why, it could lead to problems further down the line.
Lots of helpful people on here though, and listening ears. Do you have anyone IRL you can talk to?
What a horrible situation for you. I agree with the others, I think you need to sit him down and find out what is really going on, and I'd do that before telling him about the test so it doesn't cloud his choices. Whatever happens, I'm sure you will be okay, things have a way of working out x
Oh lovey, no wonder you are suspecting something. I know he's away but you have to speak to him when he's back. I actually think I know who you are and if you are who I think I know you've been through such a hard time of things and you don't deserve to be treated like this. I know you must feel lost especially as you can't tell your mum. We're all here for you and I know you've gone anon but feel free to PM me if you want xx
I'm really sorry, sounds very complicated and I think I know who you are in which case this is even more of a confused situation for you but I hope I'm guessing wrong. You do need to talk to him sooner rather than later but also work out what you would want to do about the relationship if he says he wants to be with you and whether you can trust him. Xx
Oh gosh what a horrible situation. First of all massive congrats on your positive result. I too would sit and talk ask him calmly is he happy with you because you feel he isnt. I dont know when the best time would be to broach the subject of the baby but I would sort out the relationship side of things first. It may be that he will be a perfectly good Dad even if you are no longer together, in fact sadly in a way it might be better that way. Or he may think this is where he needs to man up and be there for you. Only you and he can know that. Wishing you all the luck in the world with the chat. I really hope it has a positive out come either way xxx
Just checking how you are?x
sorry things are so complicated. I don't think I'd know where to start with advice but it sounds like you have support around you. Wishing you lots of luck with your pregnancy and congratulations!
I think I know who you are too, if you are who i think you are then i've been following you story for a while. Feel free to PM, no pressure to out yourself. Congratulations on the BFP!! xxxx
Firstly congratulations. If you are who I think you are I'm sure the bfp bit is much wanted regardless if the circumstances.
I totally agree with everyone else who had suggested sorting out the relationship side of things before telling him. Sounds like your mum is just trying to protect you which is only to be expected and hopefully you'll have plenty of support from her even if you do this without OH.
I hope you manage to sort things out one way or another tomorrow
workinghard, yes the bfp bit is very very wanted and something I never thought I would see! I think you're right about my mum, she's a bit like a dog with a bone at the moment!!
I'm really worried about tomorrow but we'll just have to see how it goes I guess and at the end of the day i can say I finally have my BFP!!!!
yes you can anon! yey!!!!!! A much loved and wanted baby on the way! Nothing better xxxxxx
You are definitely who I think. Do you want to make a go of it with your OH or prefer just to start afresh? His own life is complicated to if I'm right with his own health so it must be hard all round but ultimately he needs to decide whether to go back to his wife or stick around if you want him to be a part of your life? I know you are happy to go it alone but he is going to be a dad and that will bring loads of extra emotions for you both xx
Your definitely who I think to, so as everyone has said, massive congrats on the bfp, I know how much this will mean to you! You just have to be upfront and speak to him, I know that whatever the outcome you'll be a strong person to do this on your own. I don't mean this to sound like you should keep it from him, but I think you should find out his genuine thoughts/feelings first before mentioning the pregnancy. That way you will know how he feels without that as a factor first of all xx
Yes you do absolutely need to tell him about the bfp because this is a joint responsibility so unfortunately even if he has been seeing his wife he still needs to know and from your previous posts about him he doesn't sound like the type of person to not support you. Ultimately you don't know what has been going on so try not to jump to conclusions and go into the conversation with a clear head unless you have decided that its over regardless of what he has or hasn't been doing? Xx