Does anyone else feel guilty about having another baby?

Hiya,

I was just wondering if anyone else feels really guilty about having another baby and that their first child won't get all the attention?
I know it is normal to feel this way but it really gets me down sometimes and I wonder if I'm doing the right thing by having another!
That sounds really bad because I am really excited too and can't wait for baby but I can't help having doubts.
Maybe it's because my little girl starts school in September and baby is due in July, and I feel like I am replacing her? Not too sure but I hope these feelings go soon lol.
Would be great to hear if anyone else has had these feelings and if they went before baby arrived etc.
Thankyou girls,

Faith.xxx

Posts

  • I felt like this for the first few months I was pregnant. Lo is still only 18 months so she is still a baby really and I felt terrible that she was going to have to share the attention. I am a stay at home mum so she is used to having my attention all day everyday. I'm 25 weeks now and I have started to feel a lot better. She seems really intrested in babies and loves to kiss pictures of them so I am kind of hoping that she will think the baby is a new toy! I am going to get her a doll nearer the time so that she can look after her baby while I look after mine. I think it is normal to have doubt, I bet like us you have got used to your family the size it is and adding an extra member is pretty scary!
    Kerry
  • Believe me once lo is here you'll realise it's the best thing ever for all of you! I'm expecting my 4th now, but did have these thoughts with my 2nd (many years ago) but it was all fine.

    My 4year old ds is also starting school in September and I'm due in June, so am in the same scenario - but feel completely different about it - as much as I adore him (peas in a pod we are!) he needs to be out of the house full time and being entertained elsewhere!

    The other thing I always worried about was whether I would love the new baby as much but honestly you do - it is in a different way but you really do have enough love to go round them all!xx
  • Aww, thanks girls!
    That does make me feel a bit better and I agree Karen, the bigger ones need to get out and do things so even if I wasn't having another baby I would still miss my little girl when she starts school lol. I'm also a stay at home mum bedhead and I know what you mean about giving them your full attention! Hopefully they will get used to having another baby around and enjoy it. It's difficult to imagine dividing myself between two kids, but I'm sure it comes naturally when baby is here (hopefully)lol.xxx
  • hi. i have got 5 kids. and have felt guilty with everyone i have had. it's a hard thing to get over but the other children that are already here will always be ok. i put aside a bit of time every day for each of my kids, it's a juggling act but i do it. try not to worry too much, all will turn out ok.xxxxx
  • hi ive been feeling the same way, first is 3, and i sometimes think how could i possibly love another child the same way as i love her. but i guess that is just normal to feel that and im sure ill love the baby just as much, altho it is hard to imagine at the moment.

    i know it is a good thing for her to have a wee bro or sis, and it will be great for her to not be on her own anymore, so i just think of that when i start worrying about it.
    i am a stay at home mum and she has been used to my undivided attention, so it will be hard, but she is at nursery now so that will break up the day and ill just need to try and spend quality time with her when baby is asleep etc. x


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  • i am worried that my daughter is going to feel left out,
    so iv bought her some gifts to open in hospital when iv had the baby, and im going to try make her feel involved in bathing ext baby and when baby is sleeping play some games ext with her,
    but i know its easyer said then done lol,
    i couldnt bear it if my daughter felt left out.
    xxx

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  • Hi ive also been feeling the same my daughter and i are inseperable she is so clingy to me as i am to her (i know i shouldnt) but im a stay at home mum too and Ashleigh is my world and has been with me 24 7 since she was born except 2 hrs on a sat morn when she goes to town with nanny, i have just recently put her into nursery 2 mornings a week for 3hrs each morn and i think i struggled more to adjust with her not being around and she loves it so that has put my mind at rest a bit because i made sure she started before baba arrived so she doesnt feel pushed out, i think we all panic and worry more about these things and wouldnt be suprised if the LO's adjust brilliantly and our worrying was for nothing lol Sophie 33+1 xx
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  • Hi i felt the same as you as my little girl was 5 when lo arrived and i felt really guilty as she had had me n her dad for 5 years and felt sometimes she might not get any attention and everyone would leave her out for the new baby it got that bad i would sit and cry, but when he arrived everyone made a fuss of both of them and she loves him to bits and i cant imagine life without them it was the best thing and i dont feel guilty with this one as i know she is ok. I also stressed about not loving the next one as much as i love my daughter so much but as soon as i met him it was instant.
    vikki xx
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