The real deal...

Hey Hey lovely ladies,

I am 9 weeks and 3 dayds roughly (haven't had my dating scan as of yet) I am over the moon that I am pregnant and have loads of support, I'm in a stable relationship and have lots of friends and family with a young family around me, I have accepted the pregnacy really well and look forward to having a child.

now comes the but...

I thought it would feel like I have magic in my tummy.. but instead I have strech marks on my boobs belly and thighs (I am using bio oil), I have a sick feeling all the time and do sometimes vomit, I have a banging head ache that I just cant seem to shift, My boobs have grown to an E and are sore and swollen and i cant even bare my clothes brushing up off them, I am consitpated dispite eating a pile (excuse the punt) of fruit and veg daily as well as drinking loads of water/juice, my bum is now bleeding when i go (sorry i know too much info) which is making me anxious, I have so much wind and I cant help it slipping out :roll: , I am having awful nightmares that make me feel disturbed by them even when I am a wake :cry: , I am shattered, I swear I am showing already and people are telling me I cant possibley be (but you know your own body right) I am worried about getting really over weight and not being able to shift it again and about my body changing, I have really bad stiches in my sides and tummy, I have lost my appitite and am getting 'told off' by well meaning do gooders telling me I have a responcibility to eat properly I am just not hungry and the idea turns my stomic I do eat when i feel hungry. I am unusally angry which isint something that I normally am normally I'm very placed.

I just feel like I'm purely an incubator for this child I am not aloud to eat certain things l like, like cheeses, or cured meats, or unpasterised dairy products, or runny eggs, or drink alcohol or caffine, or fatty foods, everything that passes my lips I am really aware that it must have a heathy benifit for the child.

I feel like my body is not my own. I'm not aloud HOT baths which really relax me, I have people telling me ' you should enjoy this pregnancy there are people who can't get pregnant!!' (Hello!!! I have PCOS and I was trying for well over 2 years & they think I don't know this!!)

I'm not saying I dont want to be pregnant of course I DO! I'm just saying I'm suffering a bit and I thought it might be a bit more plesurable. :\(

I am also worried that thing won't go right and I'm worried about accomadation and about the strain on my relationship as well as the lack of social life. I know this sounds selfish but though it was far better to express my emotions here rather an bottle them up.

I know that these fears are emotional driven and unfounded, I have had very strong pregnacy lines in all the test ive take and don't have and deep concerns that things are going 'wrong' spose I'm worried becuase I have PCOS and was told id be more likely to miscarry. The accomadation will sort its self out and if not we have two perfectly good homes with either set of parents for the time being, and as for my partner we have been together 5 and a half years and have been thru loads to get her were strong and very much in love and both loving that were going to have a child.

Thanks for listening to my rabberlings.... image


  • I think everyone believes when they fall pregnant that all of a sudden they will feel this overwhelming sense of joy and forfillment of love and emotion. I think if most people were truly honest with themselves although they are thrilled that they are carrying a life and producing in most cases a very wanted child they also have sickness constipation, pains in places they didn't know existed prior to pregnancy and generally feel used and abused I also think all of this is normal. I certainly felt like this at times. I would also say that things do tend to improve once the initial hard hitting stuff starts to pass a little.
    I am not saying that everything will stop your boobs will probably stay the same or get worse. HOWEVER the hormones certainly do even out and you will hopefully feel a little like your old self.
    The one thing that never changes is wellwishers giving you all the wanted and unwanted advice you can ever wish for, my advice would be to nod smile and say yes or no where you think is appropriate!
    You are completely normal and certainly very sensible for releasing these feelings rather than letting them fester.
    I hope things improve for you asap

    [Modified by: gem1 on December 26, 2007 09:17 PM]

    [Modified by: gem1 on December 26, 2007 09:17 PM]
  • it is strange all the changes to your body, and i think the sickness really dusnt help in the early stages, i thought i would wake up feel sick, then once i ate summin i would feel grate again, but it wasnt like that last time or this time, i felt sick all day everyday till 12weeks with first and about 16weeks this time,
    i couldnt enjoy the pregnancy till the sickness had passed.
    i think everyone who is or has been pregnant has felt the same.
    im sure it will pass and you will be blooming in no time hun,
    good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and take care xxx

  • Hey hun, I think EVERYONE feels the same, whether they have been trying for years, or had a scary shock (like me!) For me it didn't hit me until 12 weeks because until then I had constant bleeding and didn't really think about the possibility the pregnancy would continue. My sickness went quite early, at about 10 weeks, but when it started it was so horrible I was being sick all day and I just thought, oh my god I can't do this, I don't want this baby!!! Selfish, yes, but it's a hard thing to go through. This little person takes control of all your thoughts, changes your life, your family life, your relationship, when & what you eat and drink, what you do and what you buy. When u think of it like that, whoever said it was easy should be shot!
    Hope ur feeling better soon
    22+2 x x x
  • I haven't enjoyed the whole experience so far and there are quite a few other posts on here which might help show you lots of people are in the same boat! I feel exactly the same, like my body is not my own and I am just a carrier for this little one. The first trimester is really difficult and you aren't really prepared for how generally awful you feel, but lots of it passes. I have still been getiing pretty bad headaches but the sickness has gone, my appetite is back, the tiredness is not so extreme, and I have even been having sex again!! That could be helped by how enormous my boobs are!!
    The worrying won't stop for any of us, but hold on in there, you should start to feel better in some ways, and yes, I am sure it is worth it in the end. It is a pretty amazing process our body is going through.
    xx 17+ 5

  • i haven't enjoyed it so far although i'm starting to bar the kicks to the bladder and the bubba sitting on it NOT COMFY my lo! lol Anyways feeling great during pregnancy is almost myth like apparently i'm ok now but the first 12 weeks i had EVERY symptom and worry etc.... the worse thing is that at exactly 11 weeks i stopped pretty much every symptom and felt unpregnant again image although i know i'm pregnant as my tummy is expanding and felt baby kick me in bladder (on xmas day YAY) other than that i get stretching pains and aches. i'm getting more excited about it as i'm growing and feeling a lil more pregnant and that means i'm starting to enjoy it although i know a lot who arent! i'm 14+6 image
  • Hi hun, I tried for three years and ended up on fertility drugs to get preggers am totally delighted that I'm going to have a baby but I feel exactly the same way as you. Pregnancy has basically been a bit of a shitter for me, the one and only good thing is feeling the baby move as it reminds me why I am putting myself through this hell. Everyone says it'll be worth it in the end and I know it will, you should not feel bad about not enjoying pregnancy, my besty friend had her baby two weeks ago and she's already starting to remember pregnancy as a happy time when I remember her saying through most of it that if she'd known before hand what it was going to be like she wouldn't have done it (she's never been particularly maternal!). So basically I think that people who say they've sailed through pregnancy being happy and enjoying it have either been part of the 0.5% who it actually happens for or they are part of the group for who these brain destroying pregnancy hormones have made forget how horrible it is.

    Cheer up hun - the only thinkg to do is grin, bear it, think about the outcome and come on here for a moan! P.S. it does get slightly better for a bit in the second trimester!

    Laura (26 weeks) xxx
  • Thank you so much Girls... It must be my hormones ive been crying a lot and fighting with my mum and boyfriend about diffrent things they both cant be wrong and there is only one common factor - me! they have been very good about and once Ive calmed down both reasured me they love me very much & said sorry even tho now i'm sure its neither of there faults...

    I think I just felt People were thinking cheek of her moaning when she wasn't even sure she could get pregnant! which is prob more again to do with my emotional state rather than what they are really thinking as everyone has acctually been really supportive!

    I'm having very VERY horrific Night mares which are disterbing me and I'm not sleeping to well which I think to be honest makes everything far far worse...

    Has any one else had horrid nightmares while pregnant? Id give examples but I wouldnt want to upset any one else!

    Thanks for your kind words tho I really needed them! xx
  • read my topic bout Scan trobbles ....this is y no 1 is aving scans
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