I didn't mean you worked up grudie- I can see why your worked up hun!
I am a educated professional by the way and look where its got me- A lot of student debt and it made no difference to what jobs I have had since what so ever!!Lol! For a lot of people, it means diddly swat!!
Everyone is entitled to their views - and here's mine: I think that you, Calleigh are a very misguided individual. You have your opinion and I have, although very limited, respect for that. I am married, I have two children. The first wasn't planned but she is adored. The second was planned, and he is also loved dearly. My husband is in South America as his visa was denied so I am living off benefits and stuggling to make ends meet. I would love to be a skilled professional but unfortunately I would have to earn much more than I possibly could to even pay for childcare costs. So for the moment I am bleeding the state dry. And what of it? I have a right to be a good mum to my kids. They are clothed, fed and loved. I paid my taxes prior to having children so I deserve help when I need it. That's what the welfare state is for.
Oh and another thing - I was raised by my father and his boyfriend from the age of 11. Prior to that I was with my mum and her abusive husband - who although married hated each other and made my life miserable. I had unconditional love with my dad and his boyfriend and although not conventional I was happy and secure. You need to take your blinkers off and stop judging people by what they wear and look at the wider picture. Life isn't black and white - there are many shades of grey.
chick i have not a problem with educated professionals,thats the route you chose and its worked for you where as it wasn't for me
i wouldn't have put you in any other class and said you don't deserve any more children than i do tho because of it
we work hard for our money,I'm sure everyone does,i don't condone people draining the system and not working when they so easily can but i don't see the harm in a little help for some to carry on working if its needed
Absolutely right Grudie- that's what I was saying too.
I wish I hadn't done my degree to be honest, in the grand scheme of things it has got me nowhere really. I am hoping to use it sometime in the future so it wasn't a total waste!
I think at the end of the day, it doesn't matter where you come from, what job you do or how highly educated you are we're all the same. I am one of 6 children, my father trained as an accountant when he was younger and chose to work for the local council driving a JCB and digging up the roads so he would see his family and be happy. His father ran a business and was dead in his early 40's through the stress! We never had a lot as kids, but we had food on the table, a warm home and 2 parents that loved us. Surely that is what matters here, not how much money you earn or how important your job is. My son is wonderful, and I know he will never let me down in public, he has impeccable manners and is a friendly confident kid. Thats what counts these days, and thats whats missing. I personally took Tinks comments as a joke with a large hint of truth, I'm sure we've all been guilty of making comments like this ourselves. But for most there is a genuine reason to be on benefits, and i'm sure none of us would be too proud to claim if we were in the situation and had no other choice. I do agree that children should not be conceived just to get a council house and income!! But if you can give your child a decent home life with lots of love and bring them up with good morals then you're doing a good job, regardless of your background!
oops i dont think i should even reply as i am unmarried - i dont want to be either.... had a son who was planned dont work as i look after him my OH works 40hpweek and we claim our child tax credit not much. I dont have a lovely big council house i rent as i cant afford a morgage OH is in a unskilled job. I am not out of work for money as i worked for 2 years of my sons life i missed his first step sitting up for the first time. But coz of a legal reason my mother-in-law can no longer have kids in her house leaving me childcare free and jobless! I will go back to work when my LO's are in school and when i have another child i will use money my OH has worked for. I will never have a skilled job as i didnt do well at school through being in and out of care.....
And i have clean cloths a very tidy house and a clean happy son money in my purse i dont drink often my OH doent drink at all... Neither of us smoke and would love another child and will continue will ttc no matter what is said. we dont eat out etc etc and live happy little lives.
Its Love that makes a family.... I am not saying people who spend there money on fags and booze everynight are right (my birth mother was one) and as a child i hated it and people who have more kids for the money are not doing it for the right reasons.
Bet u never thought ur post would end up like this *tink*
i really cant believe some of your replies. you are choosing to see what you want to see.
i see nobody decided to criticized gemsie's gem of a comment:
"So for the moment I am bleeding the state dry. And what of it? I have a right to be a good mum to my kids. They are clothed, fed and loved. I paid my taxes prior to having children so I deserve help when I need it. That's what the welfare state is for."
The Welfare State was actually set up to combat the 5 evil giants after they were identified in the beveridge report. People were dying from living in slums and having no health care, there was no education if you couldnt pay. it wasnt to give people a choice to go to work or not and it wasnt to allow people to keep having children they can ill afford.
But, going back to my original point, again, it was that this government constantly penalizes those middle earners to the point were they do not have money to save for things like mat leave, and throws grants and benefits at people who dont pay in. If you are educated or skilled in this country it means nothing, which is a serious issue. What message does that send to kids that getting an education is a waste of time?!!
maybe people should stop getting on their high horses ready for battle and actually read my post, which was about the state giving money to people when they shouldnt due to the financial state the country is in, rather than taking out the bit that YOU didnt like and ranting about that.
and the sad fact is, with the politicians gearing up for the next election, there is already talk of penalizing middle earners MORE so the unemployed can continue to have children and not work.
My partner and I are "middle earners" and I hate the fact that my money goes to people that "can't be bothered" to work, but at least we live in a country that has a benfits system, perhaps if we didn't we would have slums. I agree with your points about the welfare system, but personally i took offence to your comments about uneducated and unmarried people. I left school at 16 and got a job, i've worked my way up the ladder and i now have a good career, my partner did the same and now has a fantastic job. We've got a lovely home in a nice area, all paid for out of our own pockets. My OH pays more in tax than I take home each month, which is a lot considering i work full time!! So you are not alone in your thoughts, and yes Gemsie24 has no excuse for being on benefits and the "what of it" comment is a slap in the face for those of us that are paying for it, in my opinion if she is bodily abled then she can work, but i understand that childcare is an issue. On the other hand I envy her, she gets to see her kids grow up, which I haven't been able to do. So Calleigh, you have a argument here, but try delivering it a bit more subtly and see it from other peoples points of view and you might get more support!!
I haven't actually read all the comments yet. But i just wanted to say i hope to god i havent caused upset.
imhavingaboy - i totally respect your comments and well done on been such a good parent and bringing up a brilliant child.
I would just like to say i have NO PROBLEM whatsoever with teen parents. I know if i'd have got pregnant as a teen i would have done anything for my baby. I just can't stand the people like my OH's cousin who like to make it known that they have kids for the benefits.
This girl has never worked a day in her life and yet deserves a brand new, newly decorated house while i work my arse off to have little luxuries in life and a house i can call my own!!!!
this subject reallly has caused a stir. i just think in life the only people we should be ranting about is the ones "working" the system. everybody else should be entitled to their little bit of benefits we are given. i choose to work part time to spend time with my daughter, i dont get much in child tax credit but every little helps and allows me to spend some quality time with my daughter which i treasure.
tink i agree with not having a problem with teen mums, what i do have a problem with is them having them and then palming them off. if you get yourself into that situation you should then take on all your responsibilities.
My comments were not abusive and certainly not intended to cause upset. I have worked all my adult life, as a chef - apart from when I couldn't after I had my children. I am without my husband and I cannot afford to work at the moment - I would love to work. I do have a right to be helped. And I do have a right to be with my children. I will not lose sleep over your tactless and thoughtless comments. I think your views are disgusting and you need to get your head out of your arse. God forbid one day you also need fanancial help through no fault of your own.
Oh goodness Tink I read your first post and was gona comment but now I am keeping my little mouth shut. i understand where you are coming from and we all have down days. Ignore how your lil rant has spiralled out of control they always do on these sites!
Baby dust for everyone as I think we have gotten off the point in hand....TRYING for a BABY! x
dotty 1977 - I have no excuse to be on benefits? Do you think I enjoy being on them? No. If I had the support of a ~"middle earner" husband then I would not have to be in the situation that I am in. Unfortunately I am on my own with two children and I need the financial help at the moment - and not that it's anyone's business but I am starting an access to midwifery course in September!
Thanks tinks for understanding where I was coming from. I can also see where you are coming from and I too dislike the fact that some teenagers get pregnant just to get a council house and money. If you are old enough to be having sex then you are old enough to take resposibilty. I had to and it was god dam hard at 15 trying to bring up a baby and work and look after my own home. I was doing the job that I should of been doing in my 30's not at 15. But it was my own fault I was the one that had sex and got pregnant and dont regret my daughter for one minute. These kids that just knock babies out like they are going out of fashion are disgusting and need to be taught that it is not right. x
sorry tink the thing with a online public forum is you don't always get the responses you would expect and if people feel strongly about things their going to comment and then their will always be someone who disagrees,its the diversity we live in I'm afraid
whilst my problem with ***calleigh*** are to do with some of her post i can understand where she is coming from on other certain aspects,it was more maybe the way it was put across
Hi g/c from planning: I know it's really hard to tell the tone of what someone is writing on here so just want to point out i'm trying to be as diplomatic as possible:
I do think gemsie24 has a point when she says that she paid taxes etc before claiming benefits, what is the point in paying taxes if you can't get help from the government when you need it? I'm not saying I agree with everything she has said though. Calleigh, I agree with dotty1977, I think you do have some valid points-my DH got a good degree but is still in a job that pays peanuts and his degree isn't helping him get one that is better paid either. However I do think that maybe you are coming across quite aggressively which is why people are taking offence.
Replies
I am a educated professional by the way and look where its got me- A lot of student debt and it made no difference to what jobs I have had since what so ever!!Lol! For a lot of people, it means diddly swat!!
xxx
Oh and another thing - I was raised by my father and his boyfriend from the age of 11. Prior to that I was with my mum and her abusive husband - who although married hated each other and made my life miserable. I had unconditional love with my dad and his boyfriend and although not conventional I was happy and secure. You need to take your blinkers off and stop judging people by what they wear and look at the wider picture. Life isn't black and white - there are many shades of grey.
i wouldn't have put you in any other class and said you don't deserve any more children than i do tho because of it
we work hard for our money,I'm sure everyone does,i don't condone people draining the system and not working when they so easily can but i don't see the harm in a little help for some to carry on working if its needed
I wish I hadn't done my degree to be honest, in the grand scheme of things it has got me nowhere really. I am hoping to use it sometime in the future so it wasn't a total waste!
Gemsie- too true- many shades of grey indeed
xxxx
I personally took Tinks comments as a joke with a large hint of truth, I'm sure we've all been guilty of making comments like this ourselves. But for most there is a genuine reason to be on benefits, and i'm sure none of us would be too proud to claim if we were in the situation and had no other choice. I do agree that children should not be conceived just to get a council house and income!! But if you can give your child a decent home life with lots of love and bring them up with good morals then you're doing a good job, regardless of your background!
I am not out of work for money as i worked for 2 years of my sons life i missed his first step sitting up for the first time. But coz of a legal reason my mother-in-law can no longer have kids in her house leaving me childcare free and jobless! I will go back to work when my LO's are in school and when i have another child i will use money my OH has worked for.
I will never have a skilled job as i didnt do well at school through being in and out of care.....
And i have clean cloths a very tidy house and a clean happy son money in my purse i dont drink often my OH doent drink at all... Neither of us smoke and would love another child and will continue will ttc no matter what is said. we dont eat out etc etc and live happy little lives.
Its Love that makes a family....
I am not saying people who spend there money on fags and booze everynight are right (my birth mother was one) and as a child i hated it and people who have more kids for the money are not doing it for the right reasons.
Bet u never thought ur post would end up like this *tink*
i see nobody decided to criticized gemsie's gem of a comment:
"So for the moment I am bleeding the state dry. And what of it? I have a right to be a good mum to my kids. They are clothed, fed and loved. I paid my taxes prior to having children so I deserve help when I need it. That's what the welfare state is for."
The Welfare State was actually set up to combat the 5 evil giants after they were identified in the beveridge report. People were dying from living in slums and having no health care, there was no education if you couldnt pay. it wasnt to give people a choice to go to work or not and it wasnt to allow people to keep having children they can ill afford.
But, going back to my original point, again, it was that this government constantly penalizes those middle earners to the point were they do not have money to save for things like mat leave, and throws grants and benefits at people who dont pay in. If you are educated or skilled in this country it means nothing, which is a serious issue. What message does that send to kids that getting an education is a waste of time?!!
maybe people should stop getting on their high horses ready for battle and actually read my post, which was about the state giving money to people when they shouldnt due to the financial state the country is in, rather than taking out the bit that YOU didnt like and ranting about that.
and the sad fact is, with the politicians gearing up for the next election, there is already talk of penalizing middle earners MORE so the unemployed can continue to have children and not work.
imhavingaboy - i totally respect your comments and well done on been such a good parent and bringing up a brilliant child.
I would just like to say i have NO PROBLEM whatsoever with teen parents. I know if i'd have got pregnant as a teen i would have done anything for my baby. I just can't stand the people like my OH's cousin who like to make it known that they have kids for the benefits.
This girl has never worked a day in her life and yet deserves a brand new, newly decorated house while i work my arse off to have little luxuries in life and a house i can call my own!!!!
xx
tink i agree with not having a problem with teen mums, what i do have a problem with is them having them and then palming them off. if you get yourself into that situation you should then take on all your responsibilities.
Baby dust for everyone as I think we have gotten off the point in hand....TRYING for a BABY! x
Maz x
17+3
whilst my problem with ***calleigh*** are to do with some of her post i can understand where she is coming from on other certain aspects,it was more maybe the way it was put across
I know it's really hard to tell the tone of what someone is writing on here so just want to point out i'm trying to be as diplomatic as possible:
I do think gemsie24 has a point when she says that she paid taxes etc before claiming benefits, what is the point in paying taxes if you can't get help from the government when you need it? I'm not saying I agree with everything she has said though.
Calleigh, I agree with dotty1977, I think you do have some valid points-my DH got a good degree but is still in a job that pays peanuts and his degree isn't helping him get one that is better paid either. However I do think that maybe you are coming across quite aggressively which is why people are taking offence.