I've figured out how to get pregnant UPDATE PLEASE READ

I DID NOT mean for this post to end up like this. I was in a bad mood after seeing OH's cousin yesterday and she lives on a council estate so that explains where i saw the "chavs".

I have absolutely nothing against teen mothers, like i said, if i had got pregnant in my teens i would have done anything for my child and i know a few girls from school who are "teen mums" and i am so pleased for them.
I do not agree with certain comments on here. I have not really read them all as i was hanging my head in shame for starting this. It was meant as a joke!
I do not think it matters what type of condom you buy, they wouldnt sell them if they werent all the same. My OH and i used Durex and it split a few times, they are not all perfect. Secondly, i bought my own house at 19 with my OH who was 21. I work in an office and he is a lorry driver, we don't have the best jobs in the world but it pays good money and we never go without, we also know that our child would never go without. I think benefits are there to help people and unfortunately i think they have got out of hand to the point where these youngsters (listen to me i am only 22 lol) KNOW that if they pop a couple of kids out they will get the house they want and the money.

I know plenty of young people that have had babies and a friend of mine got pregnant and actually told me she was contemplating having it for the money etc. We had a little tiff and she did abort the baby - due to reasons with the father, not because of our argument.

I also would like to say that yes i went to school (i didnt get the best grades) and i went to college to do my NVQ's but i am not the brainbox of britain and i never will be but i know my stuff for the job i do and i don't think the money you earn, the job you have or the education you have/have had has anything to do with whether or not you should bring a baby in to this world or how you would bring your child up. My parents arent the richest people and they managed to bring my brother and i up just fine!!!

I dont mean to single Calleigh out but i do disagree with most of your comments BUT people are entitled to their own opinions. I have nothing against "chavs" neither.

I just hope people can either comment on this and be civil or not say anything at all.

It was meant as a joke and a bit of a rant and i didnt expect any comments beyond a smiley face or something.

I hope we can just get over this now and move on from it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tink xx

[Modified by: *Tink* on 23 November 2009 12:55:29 ]


  • I know Tink - some people dont deserve to be able to conceive and have kids - it makes me mad!!!! I am totally with you on this one!!! xx

  • Brilliant rant Tink and so true! I'll have to find out where the next chav party is..........!

    Just the thought of having kids just to get the money is disgusting! Some people have no shame. And all these poor kids grow up thinking that's normal and behave in the same way - no wonder there's such an epidemic of 'nanny state' culture, eh?!

    My MIL's neighbour has eight children and makes no secret of the fact she does it for the money. She dumps the kids on her mother and drives around in a shiny new car - paid for by you and I!!!!

    There are people who need benefits and there are people who take the ****!

    Feel so much better now - heheheh!

    H xx


  • I can understand where you are coming from on this one. My daughter (15) has a friend (17) That had a baby 7 months ago. When she first had her she would not let anyone touch her or feed her etc and wanted to do everything by herself. I found it disgusting that when she was a newborn she had to sit in her pram in the bus shelter at night! Anyway a few months down the line and she wants nothing to do with the baby. My daughter brought the little girl round to ours for the past couple of days and I swear she is the most gorgeous little girl you have ever seen. She is constantly smiling and very clean! Thanks to my daughter looking after her for a couple of days. All the poor girls mum does all day is hang out in her new boyfriends car. Spens all the money she gets on fags and booze. Her mum asked her for some money to get some milk the other day to which her reply was ' I only have money left for my fags so no you cant have it' How cruel can you get! The baby does not even have a cot to sleep in! Poor thing!

    But then there is the other side to teenage pregnancy...

    I had my first daughter when I was 15!! I left school as I felt that was right for me at the time and got a job. I got my own place and bought everything I needed myself. I have never claimed from the Goverment. All my money has always gone on my kids. I had another at 19 and bought all myself for her too. My kids were always clean and tidy.
    I think it doesn't matter about the age and whether you are a 'chav' or not I just think it depends on who you are and how mature you are x

    Maz x
  • I loved this, your comments are so true!! It really winds me up. B x
  • ok i am going to make you seem really liberal now!

    personally i am at the point now where i think something has to be done. people dont have to take responsibility anymore. i would stop all the pregnancy grants (or the chav grant as i have been referring to it!). if you can't afford to have a baby dont have unprotected sex. babies are not rights! i would only allow child benefit for the first child, after that it is personal choice so you'd be on your own, as there are 3 days a month when you can get pregnant and contraception is free. 1st time might be an accident through a lack of knowledge, second is carelessness due to lack of consequences. besides, with the environmental needs of our planet some would say you should only have one child anyway. not me, i want 2! but some do. it's been a debate on the big questions.

    it really annoys me that i am an educated professional on a decent wage and am struggling to make ends meet with my hubby, yet friends of ours who just had their second child (well hers) and work in no skill jobs on low income part time can have 2 weeks paternity (hubby cant afford to as he is self employed) and 9 months maternity! my mil, who does hubby's books, said i'll have to go back in june when baby will be 3 1/5 months old! so am currently saving like mad to get the shortfall so i can have until sept :\?
  • Calleigh Not everyone that can't afford to have a baby plans to have one. Accidents happen. When I had my girl at 15 it was not planned we were using condoms and unfortunatly it split. I had no idea about the morning after pill and certainly couldn't contemplate an abortion at the time. As for the child benefit thing well I think that is wrong too you should be allowed it for each child as you pay for this in your taxes surely?
    As for the working in a no skilled job...does it really matter what work they are doing...they are working at least?!
    Sorry if I sound as though I am having a personal dig at you its not meant that way I just felt I wanted to get my point across x

    Maz x
  • Oh Tink, you've started something here!!

    My sister is 25, just had baby no. 5 and also got her boyfriends 13yr old niece living with them. Neither of them work, they get their rent / council tax etc paid for them and she gets about ??300/??400 a week in cash on top of that. They both smoke at least 30 a day and he's always wearing the latest tracksuit and trainers!! She may be my sister, but my god we are so different!!

    With regard to Calleigh's comments, I work full time (albeit a "no skilled job"), and bought my first house when I was 22 . My OH also has a very good job (neither of us are educated professionals). I have a 9yrold son and we don't claim tax credits or benefits of any sort. I recently had 4 weeks maternity leave when my son (my 2nd child) was stillborn, but would have taken the full 9 months had he been born healthy. Oh, and my 2nd child, was my partners 1st child (if thats relevant). So yes, your comments are really liberal, and where I agree that we are being bled dry by lazy idiots, like my sister, I also think that there can be circumstances as to why people only work part time (at least they're working in the current climate) and to why they may have children with different partners. My son's father is a complete waste of space and treated me like crap, I have been with my OH for over 5 years and to me he's the most wonderful man in the world. So should I be judged because I got it wrong 1st time??
  • actually, i never said my comment was liberal. i said i would be so right wing it would make the op sound liberal.

    well, yes, Dotty. babies should be raised in stable families, with married parents. and there is plenty of research in this area that fluffy liberals dont like to mention. we have a decrease in societies standards that goes hand in hand with a decline in traditional family values. if you are not ready to marry a man why have a child with him?!?! the fact that people will argue that it is fine to have different illegitimate children with different fathers shows the state our society is currently in!

    and i have no problem with people having no skilled jobs, its the fact that this country continues to make you better off if you claim. and yes accidents do happen. but twice? also, the chances of a decent brand of condom splitting if used correctly, following the instructions is very rare so dont think this accounts for people having multiple babies.

    and finally, having child benefit for every baby is no a haman right, it is a government idea. stopping child benefit for every child after the first is not an abuse of anyone's human rights!
  • Calleigh I think you can stand up there on your soapbox and think superior to everyone else as you are sooo obvioulsy well educated and obviously can AFFORD to have children! Where as the rest of us poor mortals that are not so well educated but still work dam hard to support our children should give up any idea of having any more as we are obviously a drain on the state! Oh and as for the condom splitting I am sure top named brands can split too as they say they are not 100% safe. If we mere souls go to work but dont earn a top wage we might need a little help like te child benefit that we get so yes I think we are entitled to it no matter how many children we have.

    Maz x
  • it really annoys me that i am an educated professional on a decent wage and am struggling to make ends meet with my hubby, yet friends of ours who just had their second child (well hers) and work in no skill jobs on low income part time can have 2 weeks paternity (hubby cant afford to as he is self employed) and 9 months maternity!

    I'm sorry but because I'm not a skilled professional i don't deserve a 2ND child,you've seriously hit a nerve with me there chick,my hubby and i work darn hard for what we have and yes tax credits help me go back to work and helps me pay a child minder so i CAN work whats so bloody wrong with that

    I choose not to go to higher education but i didn't decide to sit on my backside and do nothing,ive been working since i was 16,you chose a different route and yes your working but your no different to me just because you got educated!!! in fact i think you sound very uneducated saying thngs like that and have insulted people who are at least working something

    my husband also uneducated served his country for 5 years and has seen 2 tours of Iraq and kosovo who now works in a sheriff court still uneducated......but doesn't deserve a 2nd child sshhhesh
  • Here here Grudie !!! x

    Maz x
  • Apologies for the liberal comment Calleigh, I misread what you said.

    How does my poor son get out of bed in the mornings knowing that he is an illegitimate child, oh the shame he has to grow up with.

    All I can say Calleigh is that I hope you never find yourself in a situation where your "husband" (i presume you're married as you preach so highly about needing to be married to have a child) leaves you, or perhaps you leave him because he's worn you down so much that you believe yourself to be worthless. And then heaven forbid you meet another person, who treats you with respect and you decide that this is someone you want to have a family with.

    I agree with imhavingababy and think you should get off your soapbox and take a look at the real world. I expect you will reply again, as an educated professional won't be spoken to in that way!!

    Oh, and by the way, I may not be an educated professional, but I could afford to take 9 months off for maternity leave, perhaps you should look to the government to top up money so you can have the full 9 months off!!

  • Oh dear!

    Tink, I totally know what you mean and your reasons behind this post. But sweeping generalisations are only ever going to get peoples backs up- although I know that wasn't your intent.

    Everyone's situation is different. We don't know everyone's individual situations and therefore shouldn't judge them. ***Calleigh*** - I'm sorry but I resent the comment that people should be married to have children. I am married now, but me and my oh weren't married when we first started our family. It wasn't because I didn't want to marry him because I really did- it was just because we didn't have the amount of money needed in a lump sum to pay for a wedding and I knew that we would be paying for our wedding on our own- no help from family. So we eventually got married earlier this year. We are not better parents now we are married, our wedding rings have made no difference to the type of parents we are. Our kids are happy and healthy same as they always were. And baby #3 we are ttc at the moment will have the same upbringing as 1 and 2.
    I don't have a job at the moment since I lost mine- my dh has a good job and works hard- but technically I am unemployed. We are managing fine and I am enjoying being a sahm-something I never had chance to do before. Our child benefit helps, does this mean I shouldn't get it?

    I really think people need to be careful with their sweeping statements.

  • i also think people should read replies properly. my point was that the middle earners in this country are taxed so heavily and entitled to nothing that i CANT afford to take longer than 6 months off. and also, nobody had any issues at all with the op's sweeping generalisations about chav families, what you had issues with was breaking down what was actually meant by them.

    and why get so upset if it didnt stike a nerve?
  • But Calleigh the tax we have to pay is high on our wages just because we earn less than you doesn't mean we dont feel the pinch of paying our taxes!
    Calleigh if you have so many probs with the whole money thing and having a baby was it really worth it being so highly educated and now struggling? Where as us that are not so highly educated get to still work, pay our taxes AND get to stay home for up to a year with our children? I know which one I would choose.

  • I'm not upset Calleigh- I just think your wrong that's all. After all, we are all entitled to our opinions. I know not being married makes no difference what so ever to what type of parent you are.
    And yes, I don't really agree with the op's comments about 'chav families' either. I don't think it's really fair to generalise anyone- I said that in my post.

    As for 'middle earners' I totally agree. My husband is a middle earner and so was I before I lost my job. We aren't entitled to much now I am not earning because he earns 'too much'. Yes, it makes it really hard. One thing I would say though is I never in a million years would have thought we could afford for me not to work- but we have made loads of cut backs, all little things-nothing major and we are actually managing fine. We are lucky that dh can do overtime from home-so obviously that helps. Take away the child care costs and there isn't actually that much difference because child care costs were killing us when I was working. All I am saying is you might be pleasently suprised...although maybe not, as I said before everyones different

  • i didn't say i agreed with the Op either tho,i think is a total stereotype and don't necessarily agree with it,i seen it more as a joke but she wasn't saying working people don't deserve children or tax credits etc because were not educated professionals

    where as i took your statements as personal since I'm not educated,i had a child out of wedlock,even tho we are married now we do claim tax credits so i can still work but bring my child up at the same time,i see my husband for a total of 3 hours Mon-Thurs due to work and still gets very heaily taxed,we own our own home also

    so you tell me what make me any different to you?
  • I think Grudie that some people just think they are above other people. Personally I would rather be down to earth without much money but have a kind heart and hope my kids grow up knowing that I did my best for them. I would hate for my kids to think I was stuck up and a Snob!!

  • Absolutely right Claire-ski and beautifully put.

    Of course there are people like that. There are people who work the system to get what they can and abuse the fact that having children ultimately gets you more from the system. We all know that and of course it makes you angry- it isn't fair. But I just think it's dangerous ground to judge people and start doing thinking that certain 'types' of people deserve to have children more than others. There are plently of 'professional' people who work who don't display the best parenting skills. The point is, we don't know everyones situations- so it's pointless getting all worked up about it! image

  • im just a bit disappointed about some of the comments TBH chick
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