Everyone has a right to an opinion and a right to express it. What I said was taken out of context and twisted. I am not ashamed of being on benefits - but I do not enjoy being on them. I don't want my children to think they don't need to succeed in life, but unfortunately I am going through a tough time and this is my situation at the moment. I don't get how this has become a witch-hunt for those umarried women with children or those of us who don't work - as I've said previously life isn't great for some of us - and we need the exrtra help, but we shouldn't be victimised because we get it.
Tink- I understand the way you meant the original post- and I have seen the same sort of post on here and on other forums before- I am sure you didn't mean to offend people hun.
Calleigh- I agree with other posters- no one disputes you make some valid points- but it really is how you put them across- this for example:
''and the sad fact is, with the politicians gearing up for the next election, there is already talk of penalizing middle earners MORE so the unemployed can continue to have children and not work. ''
''the unemployed'' is a huge generalised statement. Not everyone unemployed chooses to be or wants to be-myself included.
Gemsie24, I'm sorry if you took my comment the wrong way, it's not what I intended. I did say in a earlier post that if i was in the situation where i need to claim benefits then I would do it. I also said that i believe in your circumstances childcare would be a contributing factor to you not working, i can't imagine how hard it must be having your husband on the other side of the world. The benefits system is there to help people who can't work and you deserve to claim it as much as the next person. I wish you all the luck in the world on your midwifery course, god knows midwifes deserve much more respect than "educated middle earners" (sorry, couldn't resist!!)
Tink, there was nothing wrong with your original post, but good for you for trying to put a stop to this thread!! We're all entitled to our opinions, the world would be a boring place if we all thought the same!! You have a very mature head on your shoulders for a 22 year old!! Anyway, back to the reason the majority of us are in this forum, MAKING BABIES!!! Baby dust to all xx
I'm sorry but I have to put my point across here, too! Both Tinks and ***Calleigh*** have valid points, however there are some points that I disagree with, but can I put this to you ***Calleigh***, when you give birth to you second child will you be refusing the child benefit we are ALL entitled to, regardless of how much or little we earn? You will be getting excatly the same amount as me and the next person, but if you do go on to claim this, does it not make you a hypocrite?? You'll still be better off than many of us mere mortals, I'm afraid it's all proprtionate isn't it? We all pay taxes, you pay more because you earn more! And the chances are that you will still be better off than many of us even after you have paid your taxes! It just means we all have to live to our means! I would personally prefer to live in a smaller house, with a lower mortgage/rent and bills be able to afford to take full maternity leave, and god forbid, be a SAHM than struggle by for the sake of a house and extortionate bills, when it all seems very insignificant when you hold that baby in your arms! This does not mean that we are claiming benefits, I gave up full time work as we were just over the limit to be able to claim help, it would have meant after nursery fees and travel expenses I would have earnt only ??60 a week and seen my dd for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evenings, therefore, what would be the point in working and what would be the point in having a child that I never got to see? It would also have meant we could never have afforded a second child, so we sold our house and I started work part time, as believe it or not I can earn more doing 17 hours a week in the evenings than I can in a full time job after expenses!! I then also have the added benefit of seeing my childs first smile, laugh, steps, etc. I'm there for my dd when she gets home from school, they get one on one attention and I can ensure they are fed properly and looked after properly (please anyone that puts their child in nursery don't take that the wrong way, I am by no means suggesting that they are not looked after properly, but there are obviously some people out there who don't have our childs health safety and well being in their best interests as we do our own, but again there are the exception for many parents, too, where they may well be better off at nursery and out of the environment they are in), for me there is no contest between working full time and receiving the help (child benefit) that we are all entitled to, to help out in the day to day financial running of our lives!
Tink - I completely understand that your original post was light hearted but its caused a great debate!
Now i'm going to say my piece
Personally I am in a good job and when I give birth I will be claiming everything that I am entitled to. It does annoy me when there is unemployment as there are jobs out there. I am being made redundant in January but have got a new job to go to so that i'm not unemployed. The new job is far from what I want to do but at the end of the day its a job and an income which without I wouldn't be able to have the life that I love. I would never expect to keep up this life by using money from the goverment whilst unemployed when there are job vacancies out there. At the end of the day i'd clean the streets if that was all that was available, even though i'm educated to a very high level.
And yes I would love to be a sahm but we'd never afford that in a million years, so i'm going to find the fine balance between working and paying a nursery.. xx
Gemsie - i have to say that i admire you for looking after a child alone!!!
The point i was trying to get across in the original RANT was that i can't stand people who have NEVER worked a day in their lives and get everything. My OH's ex is someone i speak to and she is now having her second child, has never worked a day in her life, her boyfriend is in prison and she told me she wants a house. When i asked how she was going to get one she said "oh i don't have to pay for anything" and showed me a letter basically saying she will get a house that will be fully paid for AND she will also get child benefit for her two children!!!
That is what i disagree with. If i had a child and, god forbid, ended up alone and couldn't afford a nanny or something to look after my baby i would take that time off work and EXPECT to be paid benefits BECAUSE this would be paid from all the tax that i have paid over the past 6 years!!! Then i would be happy to know that the money i am been paid is the money that i have put into the country over those 6 years and i would feel happy that it went to me and not some scrounger after an easy life. Therefore, Gemsie good on you for that. You are taking out what you put into the system!
People may not agree with me here but my point was, like i said, that people get given a free ride. I came straight out of school and into a job AND college!!! I have never not worked since i was 16 and i, and my parents are proud of that! Teens who come out of school straight into a council house with money are what i detest!!!
Tink I do not h\ve a problem with your views - infact I agree that some women use babies as a way of getting houses etc. It's completelu unjustifiable. I was just saying that there are some of us out there who would love to work but don't have the support network to be able to. I am not SAHM out of choice, but out of necessity.
i laughed when i saw this post this morning and didnt think it would get quite the response it has, i posted about middle earners tax credits being stopped which also turned out like this.
i dont think calliegh was saying educcated in a way to look down on anyone not purely to say even when you work hard (skiilled job or not) you cant afford things benifit cheats can, i personally will NOT be claiming tax credits/child benifit as i feel i dont have the RIGHT to have them , hubby and i dont earn a lot but we manage and will be able to provide for our baby when it arrives even though most of the baby things are second hand or hand made by family and not designer. i dont feel the need to dive into a pot meant for the familys who are on the breadline and cannot work,
back to the original post, i took it how i imagine it was intended, a joke, for all the frustrated TTC ladies
Tinks as far as I can see none of the posts on this thread were not aimed at you personally. I think myself and the rest of us believe you made a very valid point. I wouldn't take any of this personally.
Piggypops child benefit is paid to you automatically x
Tink re First post ..... If i get a BFP this month it will be after some drunken fun althought i was undressed and didnt put on a traccy I didnt get to have a drink on my bday as i had got a BFP just before and after losing it i didnt think i was a time to drink so i had a fab drink with friends at home last week around OV.
When i saw this post this morning i wondered if it would end like the baby buggy post not long ago ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs tink)))))))))))))))))))))))) You will get your BFP very soon hunny xx
Okay - I wasn't going to get involved in this, but I can't help it now...
I can understand some of what Calleigh is saying...... I'm an accountant had have studied for a hard 7 or so years to become qualified - I've done this part time while working full time and it's been hard. I've done it purely so I could give my future family a stable, comfortable life.
We've desperatly wanted a baby for about 3 years, but it was very important to us to be married first (I'm not saying it is wrong to have babies outside marriage, it was just our choice). We had a low key wedding as I wanted to keep money aside for having a baby so I could afford a decent (1 yr) mat leave.
However, relatives of ours were made redundant last Christmas - they got so lazy being out of work, they didn't even bother looking for something else. In July they announced they were having a baby, when asked how they could afford it the reply was 'benefits -we've worked it out and we'll be loaded!' I was furious. I also know other people that have had kids as it pays for them to do so.
I have no problem with genuine people claiming benefits. It just annoys me that us that worker - support all those people that want an easy life and can't be bothered to work.
These are views which will always divide people - I just try and take the attitude that we will be proud that we can support our family, and in the long run the hard work pays off.
Replies
Tink- I understand the way you meant the original post- and I have seen the same sort of post on here and on other forums before- I am sure you didn't mean to offend people hun.
Calleigh- I agree with other posters- no one disputes you make some valid points- but it really is how you put them across- this for example:
''and the sad fact is, with the politicians gearing up for the next election, there is already talk of penalizing middle earners MORE so the unemployed can continue to have children and not work. ''
''the unemployed'' is a huge generalised statement. Not everyone unemployed chooses to be or wants to be-myself included.
Now this I think we would all disagree with!
This does not mean that we are claiming benefits, I gave up full time work as we were just over the limit to be able to claim help, it would have meant after nursery fees and travel expenses I would have earnt only ??60 a week and seen my dd for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evenings, therefore, what would be the point in working and what would be the point in having a child that I never got to see? It would also have meant we could never have afforded a second child, so we sold our house and I started work part time, as believe it or not I can earn more doing 17 hours a week in the evenings than I can in a full time job after expenses!! I then also have the added benefit of seeing my childs first smile, laugh, steps, etc. I'm there for my dd when she gets home from school, they get one on one attention and I can ensure they are fed properly and looked after properly (please anyone that puts their child in nursery don't take that the wrong way, I am by no means suggesting that they are not looked after properly, but there are obviously some people out there who don't have our childs health safety and well being in their best interests as we do our own, but again there are the exception for many parents, too, where they may well be better off at nursery and out of the environment they are in), for me there is no contest between working full time and receiving the help (child benefit) that we are all entitled to, to help out in the day to day financial running of our lives!
Tink - I completely understand that your original post was light hearted but its caused a great debate!
Now i'm going to say my piece
Personally I am in a good job and when I give birth I will be claiming everything that I am entitled to. It does annoy me when there is unemployment as there are jobs out there. I am being made redundant in January but have got a new job to go to so that i'm not unemployed. The new job is far from what I want to do but at the end of the day its a job and an income which without I wouldn't be able to have the life that I love. I would never expect to keep up this life by using money from the goverment whilst unemployed when there are job vacancies out there. At the end of the day i'd clean the streets if that was all that was available, even though i'm educated to a very high level.
And yes I would love to be a sahm but we'd never afford that in a million years, so i'm going to find the fine balance between working and paying a nursery..
xx
The point i was trying to get across in the original RANT was that i can't stand people who have NEVER worked a day in their lives and get everything. My OH's ex is someone i speak to and she is now having her second child, has never worked a day in her life, her boyfriend is in prison and she told me she wants a house. When i asked how she was going to get one she said "oh i don't have to pay for anything" and showed me a letter basically saying she will get a house that will be fully paid for AND she will also get child benefit for her two children!!!
That is what i disagree with. If i had a child and, god forbid, ended up alone and couldn't afford a nanny or something to look after my baby i would take that time off work and EXPECT to be paid benefits BECAUSE this would be paid from all the tax that i have paid over the past 6 years!!! Then i would be happy to know that the money i am been paid is the money that i have put into the country over those 6 years and i would feel happy that it went to me and not some scrounger after an easy life. Therefore, Gemsie good on you for that. You are taking out what you put into the system!
People may not agree with me here but my point was, like i said, that people get given a free ride. I came straight out of school and into a job AND college!!! I have never not worked since i was 16 and i, and my parents are proud of that! Teens who come out of school straight into a council house with money are what i detest!!!
i dont think calliegh was saying educcated in a way to look down on anyone not purely to say even when you work hard (skiilled job or not) you cant afford things benifit cheats can, i personally will NOT be claiming tax credits/child benifit as i feel i dont have the RIGHT to have them , hubby and i dont earn a lot but we manage and will be able to provide for our baby when it arrives even though most of the baby things are second hand or hand made by family and not designer. i dont feel the need to dive into a pot meant for the familys who are on the breadline and cannot work,
back to the original post, i took it how i imagine it was intended, a joke, for all the frustrated TTC ladies
Piggypops child benefit is paid to you automatically x
I didnt get to have a drink on my bday as i had got a BFP just before and after losing it i didnt think i was a time to drink
When i saw this post this morning i wondered if it would end like the baby buggy post not long ago
((((((((((((((((((((((hugs tink))))))))))))))))))))))))
You will get your BFP very soon hunny xx
I can understand some of what Calleigh is saying...... I'm an accountant had have studied for a hard 7 or so years to become qualified - I've done this part time while working full time and it's been hard. I've done it purely so I could give my future family a stable, comfortable life.
We've desperatly wanted a baby for about 3 years, but it was very important to us to be married first (I'm not saying it is wrong to have babies outside marriage, it was just our choice). We had a low key wedding as I wanted to keep money aside for having a baby so I could afford a decent (1 yr) mat leave.
However, relatives of ours were made redundant last Christmas - they got so lazy being out of work, they didn't even bother looking for something else. In July they announced they were having a baby, when asked how they could afford it the reply was 'benefits -we've worked it out and we'll be loaded!' I was furious. I also know other people that have had kids as it pays for them to do so.
I have no problem with genuine people claiming benefits. It just annoys me that us that worker - support all those people that want an easy life and can't be bothered to work.
These are views which will always divide people - I just try and take the attitude that we will be proud that we can support our family, and in the long run the hard work pays off.
;\)
(((((((((((((((((((((hugs back)))))))))))))))))))))))
I am ignoring this post now lol, it was an innocent rant that turned into something silly!!!