Re. naps (and I promise this is the last time I'll post on this thread lol) - statistically (again!) cot death is most likely to happen between midnight and 6am, which I think is why nap-time is less of a concern.
We used to have a tiny bedroom when ds1 was born, but we moved a chest out and the cot in - it was a squeeze, but it's only for a few months. They don't stay little for long. xx
i havnt had time to read all the comments im sorry but just want to say that we had ds in with us till he was around 10 months ,usually in our bed cos he was such a nughtmare sleeper !!! we were frowned on for letting him sleep in our bed but it worked for us and we followd the co sleeping rules however he is still a terrible sleeper ,with dd we had her in our room till we moved house when she was 7 months and then put her in her own room and she is a fab sleeper now ,(apart from teething) she plays happily in the mornings and even when she is unsettled doesnt want to be in with us
i definatly think each one of our babies are different ,we all live in different size houses with different size bedrooms and we all have our own views on where our babies should sleep and for how long xxxxxxxxx
DD was in our room for 7 months, luckily we had room for her cot. I still wasn't ready to move her out then but hubby wanted to. She slept through the night from 8 weeks so that wasn't an issue. However I do not sleep anywhere near as well since she moved out and she's 12 months now.
Jak is napping in his room right now, but I've been ironing in the living room for the past hour. I can't be in the same room as him 24/7, it's not practical or possible. He needs his rest and I would disturb him because he'd either smell me and wake up, or he'd hear me and want to play.
in all honesty its not about Being there constantly, and there is normal noise going on in the house and outside that baby wouldn't possibly fall into a deep enough sleep, an as your awake your more aware of their safety an enable to act upon.
Note it says 6mths not 1 year - I think NCT are a bit mother-earth for some people lol!
I think the guidelines are pretty simple - if you possibly can I would keep baby with you for 6mths (or for as long as you can) - but obviously there are going to be some times where that's not possible, as some of the ladies said on here.
Mx
Exactly he risks reduce at 6mos but if found this
'What is the usual age for cot death? Cot death is uncommon in babies less than a month old, but rises to a peak during the second month. The risk then diminishes as the baby grows older. Nearly 90% of cot deaths have occurred by six months, and very few occur after a year.'
alot of the time its jus nowing thats enough for most of us
I agree that the statistics are important, but I also believe that I wouldnt know if Ryan stopped breathing as he is so quiet, and he sleeps near my head. As mothers we are made to feel so guilty about so many things - breast vs bottle, our room vs theirs, weaning early vs not, car seat choices etc etc etc - and all we are trying to do is the best for our children and ultimately, ourselves.
Gemma, Ryan and Alfie 14 + 4
but thats my point subconsciously your more likely to awake an check, i do it when cadies just breathing to quietly, but id rather reach over an touch her chest, then have to get up outta bed an go to her room ;\)
My point is not about having Your baby in same room till 1yrs, It that idea that some mums See the important info about sids as Stats, and that its just about giving our babies numbers not true, And baby being put in own room before 6months.
Our cot fit in to the room nicely, but even if room was small I would not be comfortable not having the cot there, I Understand size seems to be an issue , just id try everything to avoid her going into her room before 6months )
an i understand mums we know our babies, its just as iv said before, people seem to associate sids with weak babies, its not true :roll: i really find it hard to read people sayin, baby keeps them awake so we put them in own room etc
We put our boy in his room at 2 weeks, our reasons were, he hated his moses basket and wanted space, the cot didn't fit in our room and we didn't really see why not.
Mine and my hubbys belief is that to prevent cot death we would have to be awake 24/7 and thats impossible. Maybe I sound a bit heartless here but I don't jump at every noise or irregular breath my boy makes, how would I be of any use to him having had no sleep? I need rest to be a good mum.
Advise is personal opinion, sometimes based on fact, stats or experience, but its your choice if you take any of it xxx
xMimsx I totally agree, I went to NCT classes and although I enjoyed them I took a lot of the advice they gave with a pinch of salt because I did find it very mother earth and almost as if we were being told if we didn't do everything the most natural way, no pain relief during labour, breast feeding, co-sleeping etc then we weren't doing our best. However the advice that the recommendation is now a year to have baby in the room came from the NHS antenatal classes we went to at our hospital and it was a midwife that told us, not the NCT.
Thank you all for your replies, it is helpful to see the differences in opinion.
The difficulty for me in doing absolutely everything that is recommended is how much it changes. Now it may be baby on their back, feet to foot, in your room for 6 months/1 year but 10 years ago the advice was totally different. When my brother was born my mum got a lecture from her health visitors because he should be on his front and he would only sleep on his back, 22 months later and the same health visitor was lecturing her for allowing me to sleep on my front!
I am always making the argument to my mum when she says the same thing that the advice they give now must be reducing risks or they wouldn't give it to us. However to play devils advocate for a second who is to say the advice we are being given now is the right one. In 5 years time all of this may have been disproved and what we do now may be seen as old fashioned and inadvisable, it has all changed so much in the last 20 years how do we know the current advice is the definitive one?!
There have been so many well documented incidences where parents genuinly thought they were doing the best they could and it ended in disaster, thalidamide being the most obvious. I guess what I am trying to say is that everything we are told is simply advice and guidelines based on current research, it is not gospel and it is up to us as parents to decide what is best for us and our children to keep them safe. Personally I have chosen not to have the swine flu jab and I think that was the best decision for myself and my baby, I am sure a lot of people disagree with my choice and think I am irresponsible, however if in 10 years time they discover a link between the jab and some horrible side affect then I will have been justified in my decision and looking back on what was recommended at the time as false information.
You make total sense, I am of the same mind, advise changes and I'm sure for example that the advise about placing baby on their backs will change, its changed before!
Nothings carved in stone, theres such strong guidence given through prepgancy, labour and child raising.
After everything you hear, read and see you have to apply a big dose of your opinion, common sense and practicality.
Good luck with your decisions hun, remember you can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time xxx
I agree and understand what you said Miss impatient. Advice and guidelines are always changing. We moved lol into his room at 6 weeks as he too big for moses basket and he loeved his cot he can wriggle. We have monitor ans angelcare thing. I also agree with what malkymum says we'd have to be there 24/7. Advice and guidelines are just that and we all as parents and individuals have to make our own decision on what is best for our own child. And am sure whatever decision is made is the best for you annd your family..... xxx
i heartly concur missI, the only thing i did want to 'pick up on' so to speak, is that u said u wld like to keep baby in moses basket in with u til 7months ish, all i wantt o say is i don't think a moses will alst til then, not down to size of baby necessarly (altho ds was only a tiddler and he was struggling for room at 4.5montsh) but alos most, if not all babies are rolling by then, and i don't think moses baskets are stable enough to have a rolly baby in them. not criticsising (sp?) atb all but just thought a heads up wld be helpful, hth xx
i really find it hard to read people sayin, baby keeps them awake so we put them in own room etc
I don't think any of the mums on here would ignore their baby if it needed them in favour of sleep, or anything else for that matter! But I personally can't jump at every noise my son makes (or doesn't make) or it'd make a wreck of me. If I was to wake up at every little teeny noise he made, I'd never get any sleep because he snores, sucks his thumb, makes squeaking sounds, all sorts. I'd be so much more scared of falling asleep while feeding him because I'd stayed awake for each sound he made during the night. It's impossible to watch them 24/7, it's also not necessary to constantly think about cot death. If I did, I'd depress myself and I'd never enjoy anything. I'd also have to take on board every one of the conflicting messages given as advice to prevent it, and that'd tear me apart. You're meant to give a dummy to help prevent SIDs, yet as a bfing mum - another thing that can supposedly prevent SIDs - you're NOT supposed to give a dummy until they're at least 6 weeks. Which advice do you follow?
I think it's the other way round - baby goes in its own room because parents keep the baby awake, not vice versa. Everyone expects to get up to their baby, but not for every breath! What about those teeny breaths that you can't hear in your sleep? I could never ever close my eyes if I fixated on each one!
we HAD to move JJ at 4/5 months because we were waking him up just turning in bed, i actually cried putting him in his room because i wanted him to be with us forever and i loved waking up to a smiley face looking at me every morning (the cot was squeezed next to my side of the bed) but i have to say it was the best thing we have ever done and he loved his bedroom! x
Personally i kept lo in our room till 7 months as we were co sleeping for most of it. I think its difficult for anyone to judge what another mother has chose to do because its a personal decision. I co slept from birth really and most people would look at that as being dangerous but it was a decision that i made and one that i am entitled to make and i think the same applies to moving baby into their room. I think the answer is that if your worried get a ticking clock and get an angelcare movement monitor. Imo i would keep baby in our room till at least 6 months but that just my opinion. Obviously circumstances are different for everyone.
I think its always sensible to know the advice and take heed of it but i would have lost my mind months ago if i'd tried to follow all of it ! Us Mums are always made to feel guilty about so many things, and when I decided to rtelax and go with my instincts and not panic about breaking the so called rules my experience as a mummy was greatly improved.
We moved lo at 5 months because yes she couldnt fit in her moses basket, and no we couldnt fit the cot bed in our room unless we removed our own bed. But also because hubby kept waking her up ( He works shifts and so either gets up at 3am or gets home at 2am) and getting lo back to sleep was a nightmare. But I also put lo in her own room as we both personally felt like we needed to get some of our own space back, we needed our intimacy as a couple and I was far to uncomfortable to "do it" with Charlotte in the room, she's also a very light sleeper so when we did try to she would ALWAYS wake up ! I did miss her, but I have a monitor and her room has a connecting door to ours so we can hear her.
If you're worried then follow the advice, but you can only do what is right for you and your family.
Replies
We used to have a tiny bedroom when ds1 was born, but we moved a chest out and the cot in - it was a squeeze, but it's only for a few months. They don't stay little for long. xx
i definatly think each one of our babies are different ,we all live in different size houses with different size bedrooms and we all have our own views on where our babies should sleep and for how long xxxxxxxxx
However I do not sleep anywhere near as well since she moved out and she's 12 months now.
xxx
Jak is napping in his room right now, but I've been ironing in the living room for the past hour. I can't be in the same room as him 24/7, it's not practical or possible. He needs his rest and I would disturb him because he'd either smell me and wake up, or he'd hear me and want to play.
in all honesty its not about Being there constantly, and there is normal noise going on in the house and outside that baby wouldn't possibly fall into a deep enough sleep, an as your awake your more aware of their safety an enable to act upon.
x
Put baby to sleep on their back, in the 'feet to foot' position in cot.
Do not smoke or allow anyone to smoke around baby or in the room baby will sleep.
Baby in a cot or crib in your your room for the first 6mths.
Make sure baby's room is cool.
Full details here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Sudden-infant-death-syndrome/Pages/Prevention.aspx
Note it says 6mths not 1 year - I think NCT are a bit mother-earth for some people lol!
I think the guidelines are pretty simple - if you possibly can I would keep baby with you for 6mths (or for as long as you can) - but obviously there are going to be some times where that's not possible, as some of the ladies said on here.
Mx
Exactly
he risks reduce at 6mos but if found this
'What is the usual age for cot death?
Cot death is uncommon in babies less than a month old, but rises to a peak during the second month. The risk then diminishes as the baby grows older. Nearly 90% of cot deaths have occurred by six months, and very few occur after a year.'
alot of the time its jus nowing thats enough for most of us
x
I agree that the statistics are important, but I also believe that I wouldnt know if Ryan stopped breathing as he is so quiet, and he sleeps near my head. As mothers we are made to feel so guilty about so many things - breast vs bottle, our room vs theirs, weaning early vs not, car seat choices etc etc etc - and all we are trying to do is the best for our children and ultimately, ourselves.
Gemma, Ryan and Alfie 14 + 4
but thats my point subconsciously your more likely to awake an check, i do it when cadies just breathing to quietly, but id rather reach over an touch her chest, then have to get up outta bed an go to her room ;\)
Our cot fit in to the room nicely, but even if room was small I would not be comfortable not having the cot there, I Understand size seems to be an issue , just id try everything to avoid her going into her room before 6months
an i understand mums we know our babies, its just as iv said before, people seem to associate sids with weak babies, its not true :roll: i really find it hard to read people sayin, baby keeps them awake so we put them in own room etc
Mine and my hubbys belief is that to prevent cot death we would have to be awake 24/7 and thats impossible. Maybe I sound a bit heartless here but I don't jump at every noise or irregular breath my boy makes, how would I be of any use to him having had no sleep? I need rest to be a good mum.
Advise is personal opinion, sometimes based on fact, stats or experience, but its your choice if you take any of it xxx
Thank you all for your replies, it is helpful to see the differences in opinion.
The difficulty for me in doing absolutely everything that is recommended is how much it changes. Now it may be baby on their back, feet to foot, in your room for 6 months/1 year but 10 years ago the advice was totally different. When my brother was born my mum got a lecture from her health visitors because he should be on his front and he would only sleep on his back, 22 months later and the same health visitor was lecturing her for allowing me to sleep on my front!
I am always making the argument to my mum when she says the same thing that the advice they give now must be reducing risks or they wouldn't give it to us. However to play devils advocate for a second who is to say the advice we are being given now is the right one. In 5 years time all of this may have been disproved and what we do now may be seen as old fashioned and inadvisable, it has all changed so much in the last 20 years how do we know the current advice is the definitive one?!
There have been so many well documented incidences where parents genuinly thought they were doing the best they could and it ended in disaster, thalidamide being the most obvious. I guess what I am trying to say is that everything we are told is simply advice and guidelines based on current research, it is not gospel and it is up to us as parents to decide what is best for us and our children to keep them safe. Personally I have chosen not to have the swine flu jab and I think that was the best decision for myself and my baby, I am sure a lot of people disagree with my choice and think I am irresponsible, however if in 10 years time they discover a link between the jab and some horrible side affect then I will have been justified in my decision and looking back on what was recommended at the time as false information.
Does any of this make sense or am I rambling?
Nothings carved in stone, theres such strong guidence given through prepgancy, labour and child raising.
After everything you hear, read and see you have to apply a big dose of your opinion, common sense and practicality.
Good luck with your decisions hun, remember you can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time xxx
Advice and guidelines are always changing. We moved lol into his room at 6 weeks as he too big for moses basket and he loeved his cot he can wriggle. We have monitor ans angelcare thing. I also agree with what malkymum says we'd have to be there 24/7.
Advice and guidelines are just that and we all as parents and individuals have to make our own decision on what is best for our own child. And am sure whatever decision is made is the best for you annd your family.....
xxx
I don't think any of the mums on here would ignore their baby if it needed them in favour of sleep, or anything else for that matter! But I personally can't jump at every noise my son makes (or doesn't make) or it'd make a wreck of me. If I was to wake up at every little teeny noise he made, I'd never get any sleep because he snores, sucks his thumb, makes squeaking sounds, all sorts. I'd be so much more scared of falling asleep while feeding him because I'd stayed awake for each sound he made during the night. It's impossible to watch them 24/7, it's also not necessary to constantly think about cot death. If I did, I'd depress myself and I'd never enjoy anything. I'd also have to take on board every one of the conflicting messages given as advice to prevent it, and that'd tear me apart. You're meant to give a dummy to help prevent SIDs, yet as a bfing mum - another thing that can supposedly prevent SIDs - you're NOT supposed to give a dummy until they're at least 6 weeks. Which advice do you follow?
I think it's the other way round - baby goes in its own room because parents keep the baby awake, not vice versa. Everyone expects to get up to their baby, but not for every breath! What about those teeny breaths that you can't hear in your sleep? I could never ever close my eyes if I fixated on each one!
Personally i kept lo in our room till 7 months as we were co sleeping for most of it.
I think its difficult for anyone to judge what another mother has chose to do because its a personal decision. I co slept from birth really and most people would look at that as being dangerous but it was a decision that i made and one that i am entitled to make and i think the same applies to moving baby into their room.
I think the answer is that if your worried get a ticking clock and get an angelcare movement monitor.
Imo i would keep baby in our room till at least 6 months but that just my opinion. Obviously circumstances are different for everyone.
XX
We moved lo at 5 months because yes she couldnt fit in her moses basket, and no we couldnt fit the cot bed in our room unless we removed our own bed. But also because hubby kept waking her up ( He works shifts and so either gets up at 3am or gets home at 2am) and getting lo back to sleep was a nightmare. But I also put lo in her own room as we both personally felt like we needed to get some of our own space back, we needed our intimacy as a couple and I was far to uncomfortable to "do it" with Charlotte in the room, she's also a very light sleeper so when we did try to she would ALWAYS wake up ! I did miss her, but I have a monitor and her room has a connecting door to ours so we can hear her.
If you're worried then follow the advice, but you can only do what is right for you and your family.