🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
just saw a message
Hi my husband fell asleep on the sofa with his laptop on he was on the sofa and it was going to fall so i moved it and when i did i saw a conversation he had been having with a woman it basicly said she loved seeing him well i think she was on about the webcam and he agreed she then said she wished she was cuddling him he said me too and at the end of it he said i want you.
im really angry things havent been going well for a while due to different things we have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old i feel like something has died i need advice on what to do i dont think i want to be with him anymore we have been together 7 years and married for 5 and half years. i also then looked and found an email from her saying she would be in the area soon and would he like to go out.
Does anyone know what i would be entilted to if i leave as i cant see another option at the moment.
i dont know if he has cheated but he has betrayed my trust i just dont know what to do ( ?
[Modified by: 2girlywhirlys on 06 April 2010 13:11:17 ]
im really angry things havent been going well for a while due to different things we have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old i feel like something has died i need advice on what to do i dont think i want to be with him anymore we have been together 7 years and married for 5 and half years. i also then looked and found an email from her saying she would be in the area soon and would he like to go out.
Does anyone know what i would be entilted to if i leave as i cant see another option at the moment.
i dont know if he has cheated but he has betrayed my trust i just dont know what to do ( ?
[Modified by: 2girlywhirlys on 06 April 2010 13:11:17 ]
0
Replies
Really hope you manage to sort things either way xx
[Modified by: Kati&Wyatt on April 06, 2010 04:53 AM]
[Modified by: Kati&Wyatt on April 06, 2010 04:51 AM]
That must of been an awful shock to read something so intimate.
Obviously you have to talk to him and ask him what it was all about. It could just be harmless flirting that will go no further? However, it hurt you regardless of what they do next. You need to ask him who she is, where they met, and what his intentions are for her and for his family.
I am not sure what you would be entitled too but I think you would be OK as you have 2 small children to care for. Seek advice from CAB or a fee solicitor?
Good Luck, hope you get it sorted one way or the other
d xx
I'm not saying that this is the 'right' thing to do - but what I would is check every e-mail, text, go through his pockets etc, generally snoop around and see if there is any other evidence that he is actually cheating on you (I think you should know the full extent of this). Then I would confront him with it.... and see what he said.
I don't blame you for wanting to end it with him - understandable under the circumstances, but wait and see what his explanation is, and what his reaction to you finding out about it is. It certainly is a betrayal of your trust, and a bad one. Possibly you will need some time to yourself to do some thinking about how you actually feel.
As you are married with small children, you will have a lot of rights, such as staying in the family home. Give the cab or a family solicitor a ring - a lot of solicitors will give you a half hour free consultation.
Hugs xx
I don't know the ins and outs but do you own the house or rent, whose name is mortage/lease in etc ? If you leave where would you go, family or need housing ? I think there are loads of things to think about.
Must have been horrid and a huge shock, I would feeel the same. And instinct is to get up and leave. But you need to talk to him and and find out exactly the situation. And find out where you stand legally.
Good luck, take care. S x
persoanlly i wld have to have it out with him, ask him what the hell he thinks he's playing at, especially after what he's put u thru the last few months, how could he be so disrespectful to u after the mess he made....i also know theer was somehting else u weren't seeing eye to eye on any more (i know this sounds cryptic to otehr readers, but obv don't know if u want the dteails out there lol)...so perhaps u wld be best off seeking soe legal advice...as far as i'm awar tho, if u choose to leave ur marital home, ur not entitled to housing, u can find a private rent and claim housing bens, but u wldn't be a top priority for council housing as tehy wld see it as u have made ur self homeless...i can't remeber if u had any other family about, who u cld stay with while u find a place of ur own? or the other option would be to get him to leave, but obviously he may well put up a fight.
and of course, if u want to give it anotehr go, then by all means u should do so, but just bare in mind this isn't the only issue u've been having with him.
if i can keep my eyes open tonight i'll be on fb for a chat if u like? sorry i haven't been about much lately, but been falling asleep much much ealier than i used to.
whatever i decide, i hope it works out for the best for u and ur two beautiful girls.
take care chick xx
Sorry it wasn't that helpful xx
What about any family close by ?
Baby-princess's advice also made me smile, I'd be tempted I have to admit !! Take care, hugs. S x
I think (as i said before) you have a little more evidence than me (i had late night txts, secret phone calls etc all deleted but found on bill etc), so you have evry right to confront him and feel confident that he is the one in the wrong. When he tried tocuddle you and make up i feel strongly it is a guilty conscience. They know they are doing wrong (my husband denied any wrong doing but why then keep it secret and delete everything), but make excuses up as to what driven them to do it.
I cant tell you what to do - i have stayed, keep my wits about me and try to get on with life for sake of my kids - but i still dont know if he cheated. Im your position i think i would have asked him to leave for a while to decide what he wants in his life. xxx