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Are you honest about your baby's acheivements?
in Baby
Hi everyone,
Following on from the thread over in toddler about ugly children, it got me thinking about how honest we are about our children's acheivements and if you are a bragger or not.
I am honest about what my dd has achieved and will own up if she hasn't done something that her peers are doing, for example she doesn't roll. She has rolled once each way and hasn't done it since. I don't think i brag about her however, i like to think i am sensitive to how other mums are feeling.
I can't stand parents who go on and on and on about how great their 2 week old baby is sleeping while a bedraggled mother is sitting in the corner exhausted because her older baby hasn't slept for more than an hour at a time. It amuses me when their 'angel' then decides to have a major growth spurt and doesn't sleep for a week! I am also quick to point out any faults (with myself and dd) before anyone else can point them out, i suppose i am quite defensive.
My mil was talking to her sister over in south africa on the phone the other week and her sister was going on and on about how perfect her grandchild was, my mil turned round and said, 'well mine is a monster, she just screams and doesn't sleep' It was a slight exaggeration but my mil is not a showy/bragging type of person. Btw - that comment wasn't meant seriously it was meant to shock her sister! lol.
Anyway, i know that there are alot of good babies and alot of 'normal' babies out there, but i was just wondering if you stretch the truth about anything or if you downplay everything. So do you pick out your baby's faults or exaggerate their achievements?
Lx
Following on from the thread over in toddler about ugly children, it got me thinking about how honest we are about our children's acheivements and if you are a bragger or not.
I am honest about what my dd has achieved and will own up if she hasn't done something that her peers are doing, for example she doesn't roll. She has rolled once each way and hasn't done it since. I don't think i brag about her however, i like to think i am sensitive to how other mums are feeling.
I can't stand parents who go on and on and on about how great their 2 week old baby is sleeping while a bedraggled mother is sitting in the corner exhausted because her older baby hasn't slept for more than an hour at a time. It amuses me when their 'angel' then decides to have a major growth spurt and doesn't sleep for a week! I am also quick to point out any faults (with myself and dd) before anyone else can point them out, i suppose i am quite defensive.
My mil was talking to her sister over in south africa on the phone the other week and her sister was going on and on about how perfect her grandchild was, my mil turned round and said, 'well mine is a monster, she just screams and doesn't sleep' It was a slight exaggeration but my mil is not a showy/bragging type of person. Btw - that comment wasn't meant seriously it was meant to shock her sister! lol.
Anyway, i know that there are alot of good babies and alot of 'normal' babies out there, but i was just wondering if you stretch the truth about anything or if you downplay everything. So do you pick out your baby's faults or exaggerate their achievements?
Lx
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Replies
but then my girly is still only 3 weeks old!
Sorry im rambling a bit now dont know if that made any sense
xx
xxx
But then I'm also the first to admit that she's never slept through the night and at nearly 18 weeks is no where near ready to wean so it's swings and roundabouts really.
I appreciate we're all proud of our lo's, and like to share their achievements. But it's the way you do it! xx
xx
My DS was early to sit up but didnt roll for ages, he slept through the night from 3 months but was quite slow to start making cooing noises etc! I have a friend who's LO is 2 weeks older than my LO and i do find we compare all the time but not in a competative way, her DD was very quick to roll but didnt sit up for ages....
like someone else said its swings and roundabouts! i think all babies are amazing really....such clever, fast growing little Einsteins!
xxx
ditto. but mine also has on her fb info how she is an excellent mother to her children. seriously, excellent! i dont agree tbh. she didnt breastfeed because she had too much to do and how there were no suitable clothes to bf in during the winter months, and how t was much harder for her to bf than anyone else nt he world. now, i know people have their reasons, but that is pure nonesense. it followed messaging me and saying "i take it you are breastfeeding" in a condesending manner. well, yes I AM. lots of other stuff too. like how NOBODY weans at 6 months, how silly. she brags but it's sad really as really her situation in not good at all imho.
and back to my dd. i put that she'd sat up at 5 months on fb, with a pic of her doing it as proof! but, as ive told the ladies on here before, she has read Hamlet, Harry Potter is too much of a child's book for her, she dances like a prima ballerina, and she sings like an angel. she's 5 and a half months. when someone brags to me i just say how all babies develop different things at different times. dd has been pretty textbook so far, so everything when she should and nothing early!
I really hate it when people say that about their child doing something 'ages' ago! wtf! Their child is only a few months old, were they crawling at 3 months?
Oh and i am another fb bragger, but i do it really to update friends and family as they love to hear about how emily is doing. I wouldn't put something that wasn't true purely to make my child look better than someone else's!
I find most of these 'types' of mothers are at baby groups. One mum at a group i go to is always trying to compare her son to emily, he is a month younger (5 months) but i swear has all the abilities of a one year old! Well at least he has according to her! Poor wee man!
Lx
I always ask other mums what there babies are doing and I love to compare but not in a competitive way. It just amazes me how individual they all are and how they develop xx
I think there needs to be a fine line between being proud and bragging, I hope I don't cross it!
I also have a friend and every time I say to her that Sebastian is doing xxx she says that her baby boy is almost doing the same - he is 5 months younger, so in most cases I seriously doubt it.
Also as a second time mum I'm tended towards wanting to keep him as a baby instead of wishing him onto the next stage as I know how short this time really is.
i am younger than my cousin and know i have a more expensive mortgage and car or whatever but i dont go about going 'oohh my car is so much more expensive than yours' and 'my house cost such and such' and i wouldnt do it with my baby but if she is like that then thats going to irritate me - if that makes sense? i wont lie about it but when pushed i could 'brag' if you could call it that but then if she wasnr doing something i would say so and say how great it is that their little one was....
all i got last week was questions about sleeping - yeah she sleeps through the night and always has done but im fully preparing myself for growth spurts and teething etc when it might not be like this (some nights she is quite bad with sleep so its by no means 'perfect') as i think like another poster said it all balances itslef out in time...
my problem is that yes i know all babies are different and develop at different paces and some crawl some dont etc - i am a neonatal nurse and i see so many babies - im a health visitor and i guess cause of that i know what the 'right time' should be for things and reckcon i will always be aware of that...my dd is very bright and alert but has been since about 2 weeks old and holding her head quite early but as proud as i am i dont go and broadcast it to everyone as i reckon it would be irritating (e.g my cousin) i hope this makes sense? i also dont have facebook.
i do feel like i have to justify myself to people though e.g i am bottle feeding and why im not breastfeeding before they comment as i feel like im being judged and i guess its wrong to worry about what they are thinking...
im waffling now...
Lx