This debate seems to have gone off track and I think shockedmummy has a right to her opinion without being questioned like this. Personally I think the points she raises are valid and people ought to get off their high horses. Rant over, I'm off mine now LOL xx
Lawso, shockedmummy asked for opinions! I can't see anyone on a high horse, and it's an interesting debate. No one is being inflammatory - and whilst I don't completely agree with Ems101. I think she has made her points well and completely in the context of a debate.
My personal view is that nobody should question what choices a parents makes for their own child. I have no doubt some of my friends have thought I'm a bit of a weirdo when it comes to the food choices I've made for Toby - but if you want to know why I make those choices? I refuse to let Toby grow up with a weight problem like I did and I will do everything in my power as his Mummy to avoid him having to go through what I did. Sometimes you need to look deeper and you might find a deeper reason for your friend making those choices.
Toby has plenty of snacks (in fact too many!) - we tend to give him the organix / goodies type snacks. But amazingly he is in LOVE with fruit and would happily munch on a banana or grapes over a biscuit any day (well he gives us the impression he would LOL!!!) xxx
i absolutely value everyones opinions and the reason for this thread was for exactly that reason..."are you a rice cake or rich tea mummy"...i was neither saying it was right or wrong to be either,
as for vegetarianism i was merely giving an example of a family i knew who had taken food choices which i personally did not agree with, i was by no means making a sweeping statement about being a vege!
i love a good debate and think its great to hear everyones views...
so just to clarify... i am a rich tea mummy....although they are crap for dunking....i prefer a hobnob myself!
Keeley and Rafferty (9 months and currently eating a rich tea......joke!!!)
Lawso, I didnt 'highjack' the thread, I just asked shockedmummy a question about the post she had written - it was quite an inflammatory statement (In my opinion), and I think it is ok to debate these things. It is very hard to keep a conversation on exactly the same track and I dont think it was too far from the OP theme of diet.
Also you said I shouldnt question her opinions. Isnt that what a debate it?! I dont think I picked fault with her views, I just stated that I didnt agree and said why. After all she did say at the end of her post 'dont you think?' which seems to be asking for a response.
I have been irritated by some of these posts and could quite easily gone off on one, but ive actually worked quite hard to state my point of view, agree and disagree with people without being offensive or mean. Again, I think this is what a debate is.
As I said, there is nothing wrong with a bit of biscuit or cake on the odd occasion but this should be as and when the parent says, and not the baby group. I am personally not a fan of rice cakes, but I would rather my LO waited for a decent meal or snack than filled up on sugary biscuits. Dollywotsit, babies do need fats, but there are different types of fats, and some are better than others. Refined sugar isnt really necessary, but ok once in a while. I just really dont see the point in handing out biscuits to babies when as a parent if knew that they were going to a baby group and that your baby would need a snack, you would bring one with you! Again, as I said, you could make them available without putting them under the babies nose!
Dee Dee I think you should think carefully about how you write your posts. The last was quite judgemental and bordering on offensive. I dont think that a child who is not allowed to have a rich tea biscuit is 'suffering' if they are given a good diet!
Can we clarify what age children we are talking about? I guess under 18m in general. A biscuit like that would half fill my 10m old, and she then wouldnt eat most of her dinner. THAT would make me cross.
Could people really think about what they are posting and why. Some times these boards are used by people who just want to vent some anger or irritation for some reason - its not nice.
Lets debate, its great and interesting and really doesnt have to be nasty.
[Modified by: Ems101 on September 14, 2010 09:11 AM]
I must be alseep as i completly missed any debate and im sure i read all the posts... *runs off to grab a coffee*
Joo my dd is exactly the same, she would always choose a banana or kiwi over biscuits and chocolate! I actually have to limit her banana intake as im sure more than 3 a day cant be very good for her tummy She would probably even choose carrots and broccoli over most treats too xx
My lo's 17 months old and he's very active-he doesn't stop all day. He has a rich tea or a digestive in the afternoon and a yoghurt or banana, he needs it, he's hardly got an ounce of fat on him-he just burns it all off so the calories are good.
I think it's good to have a balance although my lo doesn't have chocolate, crisps or juice but that's only because we don't have it in the house. I eat biscuits so he eats biscuits. If we were somewhere where other children were enjoying some chocolate i wouldn't hesitate to let him have some too.
ems101 have just re-read dee dee's post 3 times and can't find anything offensive in her post if anything i find dee dee's post alway make great sense .
[Modified by: hollypolly on September 14, 2010 10:56 AM]
I think its very healthy for me to introduce DS to ALL foods available to him. Afterall they are there and he is human, and none of the foods out there will do him any harm like it doesnt do me any harm (obviously unless he is allergic to anything etc)
pbob thats a good point... my dd is almost 2 and literally doesn't sit down at all so the fat thats in one biscuit must no doubt be burnt off pretty quickly!! xx
I don't see why the majority should suffer for the minority.
he was raised on an organic veg diet. he was the most miserable little boy I have ever ever met. He cried always (was probably hungry). We all dreaded his parties as our kids would eat nothing as it all looked like poo tbh!!!
She had another boy before she left here and no doubt he is in the UK somewhere just as miserable...
These are the things I find judgemental and bordering on offensive.
I think with this one we need to agree to dissagree. Food is such an emtotive issue and soo many people have issues with it. I hope that most of the babies out there have a balanced diet, I imagine that this is the case.
Hi I run a babyg group and attend a few. It is the 'norm' to get them to sit down and have a drink and a biscuit (rich tea finger ). The parents know the format and if they are not happy i suggest they take lo out or to the side and offer them their own alternative. I don't see why the majority should suffer for the minority. Once they start school/nursery they sit down and have a snack time. This is getting them ready for that.
One rich tea once or twice a week is not going to harm them. Honest!!
Obviously some mums have their beliefs and that is fine. Its not child cruelty to say they can't have a biscuit. I just think its best to choose your battles. To have a tantrum to deal with over something as silly as a biscuit seems extreme. i save my fights for the things that in my eyes are important. Behaviour, manners, eating their meals etc.. if you fight with them all the time over everything then it is harder to install the things that really matter.
My fridge has choc, biscuits and my cupboard have crisps. The kids know to ask but they can enjoy things in moderation. They are NEVER a treat. They are part of a balanced diet. Before anyone shouts me down I have 2 teens too and they were brought up the same and they are trim, slim and very very healthy!
I had a 'friend' who would not let her child eat anything remotely considered unhealthy. He was 3 and had NEVER had crisps, sweets, meat, choc, icecream etc etc... he was raised on an organic veg diet. he was the most miserable little boy I have ever ever met. He cried always (was probably hungry). We all dreaded his parties as our kids would eat nothing as it all looked like poo tbh!!! I am not exagerating..I never saw him smile once! She would take him out of play groups at snack times and smacked his hand once in my company (never again when she saw the glare i gave her) because he DARED ask for a biscuit. Poor wee thing.... There are beliefs that you are doing the best for your child but to me this was a case of her passing her radical food beliefs on to a young child. She had another boy before she left here and no doubt he is in the UK somewhere just as miserable...
d xx
Agree with everything you say deedee.. that poor little boy getting smacked for asking for a biscuit how awful !!
I remember reading an article about a mum whos children almost died (honestly i will try and find it)as she only let them eat veg and fruit and very carefully selected healthy foods... she never allowed them any sort of treats or even essential fats and in turn they where so thin they became really poorly and she thought she was doing the right thing! I know this is am extreme case but still it makes you think....
Honestly I did not mean to offend I was giving a prime example of what IMO was taking things to the extreme. This was the opinion of everyone at the playgroup (and beyond) not just me. She had food issues and IMO she was passing these to the child.
I stand by all I said as it was all very very true.
I put out plain biscuits and water and the lady before me did and the lady taking over from me will. I still say that the majority of children should not have to stop having this social little gathering just because ONE woman did not like it. I give out leaflets to newcomers and I have a HUGE sign up saying at ten am this will happen. If someone decides for whatever reason to not give their child a biscuit then they can take them out for the 10 mins in takes. I personally love it and it gets them ready to sit down at nursery. Rusks and lots of the so called baby goodies have more sugar than a rich tea! I dont feed them poisen.
I am vey concious of what my babies and get and BF them as long as possible (just gave up my last at 30 months!!!!!).
I think Ems you are doing what you think is right and that is great! I was not talking about YOU. I was talking from experience about someone taking things to the total other end of the spectrum. I also hate seeing kids eating too many sweets etc.. I think a varied balanced diet is the way for my kids. Like I say it has worked as I have 2 very healthy intelligent and happy teens (19 and 17). They can eat what they like now as I have no control and do you know what? they go for the fruit, veg etc.. so my way must work a bit...at least admit that????
I respect anyone who has values that they uphold but some people (not you Ems as like I say I dont know enough about you to form an opinion) take it too far.
If you are happy with your lifestyle and that of your children then don't act like you have a chip (pardon the pun) on your shoulder. Have the courage to be confident in your decisions!
Its a biscuit ffs! My lo eats biscuits/chocolate often, he also eats LOTS of fruit and veg. I disagree with not letting lo's have these things as they grow up seeing them as a novelty and then binge, i've seen it with my uncles kids, they were allowed NOTHING and it was devastating to them to discover the lunch money they were given was spent at snack time and it took a lot of time and work to get it under control...my lo would rather ask for grapes/banana over chocolate anyday and that because he just sees it all as food and there's no novelty in biscuits! He's a VERY active 2 year old (on friday ) that is still wearing 12-18 months clothes because his waist is tinyI I honestly believe it causes more damage refusing something that has temptation everywhere x
ooohhh peas out of a pod I have not had them in years!!!! major craving coming on!!!! I agree with you about denying kids certain things makes it seem all the more tempting. My cousins were greedy little things, stuffing their pockets when at our house as my mum always had crisps and sweets in. They were not allowed any sweets except boxing day and Easter Sunday. They are all overweight now. Maybe a coincidence or there could be a link??? not for me to say...I might be accused of been offensive !!!!!!!!!!!!
I do think there is a big difference between giving babies sugary stuff at 4 months/6 months and after they're fully weaned and eating a balanced diet. I really don't see the point in sugary stuff at 6 months, when they'll just as happily eat parsnip!
My parents were extreme - chocolate and sweets were the forbidden food for a while, so sure enough as soon as I started walking to school on my own, ALL my pocket money went on Haribos! They realised their mistake and relaxed the rules a bit, and luckily I have no food/eating issues now - just a mouthful of fillings!
I do understand where you're coming from Ems101 though - and in fairness you did say you would let your LO have a bit of the biscuit anyway!
The same in our house - biscuits /sweets / crisps are not treats (being taken to the seafront for an ice cream or doughnuts are treats or a day at the zoo is a treat) they are part of a well balanced diet. My 3 year old only has these things when I WANT him to have them, they are not on tap and if he wants something and I don;'t think its approriate then he gets a firm NO and no argument.
My energy is focused on developing a polite, well mannered happy content child
I have a friend with a lo who is 18months and the mummies aim is to not let her have chocolate /sweets before school age!! I personally think she's living in a dream world and have told her so, but each to their own
Replies
This debate seems to have gone off track and I think shockedmummy has a right to her opinion without being questioned like this. Personally I think the points she raises are valid and people ought to get off their high horses. Rant over, I'm off mine now LOL xx
Lawso, shockedmummy asked for opinions! I can't see anyone on a high horse, and it's an interesting debate. No one is being inflammatory - and whilst I don't completely agree with Ems101. I think she has made her points well and completely in the context of a debate.
Dollywotsit - I agree with your post entirely.
she has healthy snacks. when she is older to understand then we will allow her things in moderation.
I'm confused sleepybeccie - where has anyone said that makes you a bad mummy?
I have no doubt some of my friends have thought I'm a bit of a weirdo when it comes to the food choices I've made for Toby - but if you want to know why I make those choices? I refuse to let Toby grow up with a weight problem like I did and I will do everything in my power as his Mummy to avoid him having to go through what I did.
Sometimes you need to look deeper and you might find a deeper reason for your friend making those choices.
Toby has plenty of snacks (in fact too many!) - we tend to give him the organix / goodies type snacks. But amazingly he is in LOVE with fruit and would happily munch on a banana or grapes over a biscuit any day (well he gives us the impression he would LOL!!!)
xxx
as for vegetarianism i was merely giving an example of a family i knew who had taken food choices which i personally did not agree with, i was by no means making a sweeping statement about being a vege!
i love a good debate and think its great to hear everyones views...
so just to clarify... i am a rich tea mummy....although they are crap for dunking....i prefer a hobnob myself!
Keeley and Rafferty (9 months and currently eating a rich tea......joke!!!)
Also you said I shouldnt question her opinions. Isnt that what a debate it?! I dont think I picked fault with her views, I just stated that I didnt agree and said why. After all she did say at the end of her post 'dont you think?' which seems to be asking for a response.
I have been irritated by some of these posts and could quite easily gone off on one, but ive actually worked quite hard to state my point of view, agree and disagree with people without being offensive or mean. Again, I think this is what a debate is.
As I said, there is nothing wrong with a bit of biscuit or cake on the odd occasion but this should be as and when the parent says, and not the baby group. I am personally not a fan of rice cakes, but I would rather my LO waited for a decent meal or snack than filled up on sugary biscuits. Dollywotsit, babies do need fats, but there are different types of fats, and some are better than others. Refined sugar isnt really necessary, but ok once in a while. I just really dont see the point in handing out biscuits to babies when as a parent if knew that they were going to a baby group and that your baby would need a snack, you would bring one with you! Again, as I said, you could make them available without putting them under the babies nose!
Dee Dee I think you should think carefully about how you write your posts. The last was quite judgemental and bordering on offensive. I dont think that a child who is not allowed to have a rich tea biscuit is 'suffering' if they are given a good diet!
Can we clarify what age children we are talking about? I guess under 18m in general. A biscuit like that would half fill my 10m old, and she then wouldnt eat most of her dinner. THAT would make me cross.
Could people really think about what they are posting and why. Some times these boards are used by people who just want to vent some anger or irritation for some reason - its not nice.
Lets debate, its great and interesting and really doesnt have to be nasty.
[Modified by: Ems101 on September 14, 2010 09:11 AM]
Joo my dd is exactly the same, she would always choose a banana or kiwi over biscuits and chocolate! I actually have to limit her banana intake as im sure more than 3 a day cant be very good for her tummy
My lo's 17 months old and he's very active-he doesn't stop all day. He has a rich tea or a digestive in the afternoon and a yoghurt or banana, he needs it, he's hardly got an ounce of fat on him-he just burns it all off so the calories are good.
I think it's good to have a balance although my lo doesn't have chocolate, crisps or juice but that's only because we don't have it in the house. I eat biscuits so he eats biscuits. If we were somewhere where other children were enjoying some chocolate i wouldn't hesitate to let him have some too.
[Modified by: hollypolly on September 14, 2010 10:56 AM]
I think its very healthy for me to introduce DS to ALL foods available to him. Afterall they are there and he is human, and none of the foods out there will do him any harm like it doesnt do me any harm (obviously unless he is allergic to anything etc)
he was raised on an organic veg diet. he was the most miserable little boy I have ever ever met. He cried always (was probably hungry). We all dreaded his parties as our kids would eat nothing as it all looked like poo tbh!!!
She had another boy before she left here and no doubt he is in the UK somewhere just as miserable...
These are the things I find judgemental and bordering on offensive.
I think with this one we need to agree to dissagree. Food is such an emtotive issue and soo many people have issues with it. I hope that most of the babies out there have a balanced diet, I imagine that this is the case.
I run a babyg group and attend a few. It is the 'norm' to get them to sit down and have a drink and a biscuit (rich tea finger ). The parents know the format and if they are not happy i suggest they take lo out or to the side and offer them their own alternative. I don't see why the majority should suffer for the minority.
Once they start school/nursery they sit down and have a snack time. This is getting them ready for that.
One rich tea once or twice a week is not going to harm them. Honest!!
Obviously some mums have their beliefs and that is fine. Its not child cruelty to say they can't have a biscuit. I just think its best to choose your battles. To have a tantrum to deal with over something as silly as a biscuit seems extreme. i save my fights for the things that in my eyes are important. Behaviour, manners, eating their meals etc.. if you fight with them all the time over everything then it is harder to install the things that really matter.
My fridge has choc, biscuits and my cupboard have crisps. The kids know to ask but they can enjoy things in moderation. They are NEVER a treat. They are part of a balanced diet. Before anyone shouts me down I have 2 teens too and they were brought up the same and they are trim, slim and very very healthy!
I had a 'friend' who would not let her child eat anything remotely considered unhealthy. He was 3 and had NEVER had crisps, sweets, meat, choc, icecream etc etc... he was raised on an organic veg diet. he was the most miserable little boy I have ever ever met. He cried always (was probably hungry). We all dreaded his parties as our kids would eat nothing as it all looked like poo tbh!!! I am not exagerating..I never saw him smile once! She would take him out of play groups at snack times and smacked his hand once in my company (never again when she saw the glare i gave her) because he DARED ask for a biscuit. Poor wee thing.... There are beliefs that you are doing the best for your child but to me this was a case of her passing her radical food beliefs on to a young child. She had another boy before she left here and no doubt he is in the UK somewhere just as miserable...
d xx
Agree with everything you say deedee.. that poor little boy getting smacked for asking for a biscuit how awful !!
I remember reading an article about a mum whos children almost died (honestly i will try and find it)as she only let them eat veg and fruit and very carefully selected healthy foods... she never allowed them any sort of treats or even essential fats and in turn they where so thin they became really poorly and she thought she was doing the right thing! I know this is am extreme case but still it makes you think....
Honestly I did not mean to offend I was giving a prime example of what IMO was taking things to the extreme. This was the opinion of everyone at the playgroup (and beyond) not just me. She had food issues and IMO she was passing these to the child.
I stand by all I said as it was all very very true.
I put out plain biscuits and water and the lady before me did and the lady taking over from me will. I still say that the majority of children should not have to stop having this social little gathering just because ONE woman did not like it. I give out leaflets to newcomers and I have a HUGE sign up saying at ten am this will happen. If someone decides for whatever reason to not give their child a biscuit then they can take them out for the 10 mins in takes. I personally love it and it gets them ready to sit down at nursery. Rusks and lots of the so called baby goodies have more sugar than a rich tea! I dont feed them poisen.
I am vey concious of what my babies and get and BF them as long as possible (just gave up my last at 30 months!!!!!).
I think Ems you are doing what you think is right and that is great! I was not talking about YOU. I was talking from experience about someone taking things to the total other end of the spectrum.
I also hate seeing kids eating too many sweets etc.. I think a varied balanced diet is the way for my kids. Like I say it has worked as I have 2 very healthy intelligent and happy teens (19 and 17). They can eat what they like now as I have no control and do you know what? they go for the fruit, veg etc.. so my way must work a bit...at least admit that????
I respect anyone who has values that they uphold but some people (not you Ems as like I say I dont know enough about you to form an opinion) take it too far.
If you are happy with your lifestyle and that of your children then don't act like you have a chip (pardon the pun) on your shoulder. Have the courage to be confident in your decisions!
d xx
I am talking about 12 months plus.....
I agree with you about denying kids certain things makes it seem all the more tempting. My cousins were greedy little things, stuffing their pockets when at our house as my mum always had crisps and sweets in. They were not allowed any sweets except boxing day and Easter Sunday. They are all overweight now. Maybe a coincidence or there could be a link??? not for me to say...I might be accused of been offensive !!!!!!!!!!!!
My parents were extreme - chocolate and sweets were the forbidden food for a while, so sure enough as soon as I started walking to school on my own, ALL my pocket money went on Haribos! They realised their mistake and relaxed the rules a bit, and luckily I have no food/eating issues now - just a mouthful of fillings!
I do understand where you're coming from Ems101 though - and in fairness you did say you would let your LO have a bit of the biscuit anyway!
The same in our house - biscuits /sweets / crisps are not treats (being taken to the seafront for an ice cream or doughnuts are treats or a day at the zoo is a treat) they are part of a well balanced diet. My 3 year old only has these things when I WANT him to have them, they are not on tap and if he wants something and I don;'t think its approriate then he gets a firm NO and no argument.
My energy is focused on developing a polite, well mannered happy content child
I have a friend with a lo who is 18months and the mummies aim is to not let her have chocolate /sweets before school age!! I personally think she's living in a dream world and have told her so, but each to their own