How to tell parents...

Hi All,

I'm 23 and have just found out I'm pregnant but I have only been with my boyfriend for four months (although feels like forever and we have discussed marriage and babies etc). I own my own home although I'm living with my parents temporarily (long story). My boyfriend will sell his place and move in with me. I have a job that I love which pays well and I have been doing for nearly five years which has great maternity benefits. The thing is, the baby was planned, we just didn't think I would get pregnant so quickly (it all came about after we had a scare a couple of months ago and realised how disappointed we were when the test was BFN). However, I feel like I have to tell people the baby was an accident as we haven't been together very long and I think people will judge us. I'm also scared my parents will say I'm too young but I don't feel it and have felt broody for a long time even before I met my boyfriend. What would you do in my situation? Should I tell my parents the baby is very much wanted? (both of us were ecstatic when we found out). I just want them to be as happy about it as we are, I'm scared they will be disappointed. Any advice much appreciated.

Thanks ladies!!


  • im 23 too and I would definatley tell them it was planned hun rather than an accident, i know its hard as lots of parents are different but if you and your partner are happy, stable, and want this baby, then they should be happy for you too...but do remember a first it may come as a shock to them if you have only been with your partner 4 months so just try not to expect them to be jumping for joy straight away, they may need time for it to sink in too.

  • Honesty is always the best policy. Don't let what others might think get in the way of your happiness, besides you don't actually know how they will react. I've been married for 5 years and my parents had always made comments about how we couldn't afford children on our salaries etc but when I told them our good news they were over the moon. You should enjoy sharing your good news with people, being pregnant, especially with your first is such a special time x
  • hey!
    I'm 19 and 29+2 with my first. me and my bf had been together for 3 weeks before i got pregnant, and our parents are fine about it. my parents were really shocked and everything at first because i was supposed to be starting college in september but they've come round and are really excited.
    its completely natural and if you're both happy and want the baby then that's the best situation you could be in. Obviously it'll be a strain on your relationship (my bf and i have had numerous arguments about the situation but are now stronger than ever) so i think you should tell them that this is very much a planned pregnancy. and if they judge you for wanting a baby with someone you've been with for four months then that's their prerogative but don't let that make you feel bad about anything.
    Congrats on the pregnancy and hope you have a really happy and healthy 9 months.
    good luck with everything!
  • Hey,

    Firstly congratulations!!

    I was 22 when we found out I was pregnant. We had been trying for 3 months. I told my mam when I was about 6 weeks and she was shocked but happy for us. My OH is 39 there is 16 years between us so we wanted to have children sooner rather than later, we have been together 5 years, and I know my OH will make a great dad. We are not married or engaged - this baby is more important to us at the moment. I managed to get me mam to keep it a secret till we were 11 weeks and then I told the rest of my family. To OHs family at about 6 weeks too and they were over the moon for us. No one sees me as 23 they think Im alot older so I guess that helps with any steriotypes. I think you should be honest with the fact that baby was planned. I made it clear that this baby is very much planned incase someone was to say something in years to come.

    They will get over any disappointment when they see your baby in 9 months time!

    Good luck!

    38+2 (almost there!!!)
  • Hi!

    I have the opposite problem with my mum! I'm 20 been with OH for 2.5years, we have a mortgage, car, good jobs etc.. when I told my mum I was pregnant she was happy, but when I didn't invite her to my 12week scan she was really upset, saying I didn't want her involved, I was pushing her away, she went to all my sisters scans... That wasn't the case atall, it was something me & OH felt we needed to do alone, for sentimental reason's, & incase something did go wrong, we wanted to deal with it together! Anyway, we had the scan, & she dealt with it, she didn't have a choice!! You have to be honest, & do what's right for you & OH, you can't please everyone, as I have learnt!!!

    18+4 x
  • Hi Hun, congrats! im 22 and my OH is 25 - we are both working, the money isnt great and the maternity benefits almost non existent and we are renting a little 2 bed house and we were planning too but didnt think it would happen so easily either! I was so scared about telling our parents but just came out with it didnt need to explain how or why it happened - they were so shocked and most definitely not over the moon about it - they were worried about us financially and worried about our age and worried about becoming grandparents too young - after a few hours though and me explaining that we would be fine for money as we are saving and trying to pay things off etc they came round to the idea and are now planning on buying all out baby stuff for us already and telling us they want to be called nanna, grandma etc so just do it hun dont worry about it. At the end of the day youre with someone and your stable its not like you did it without thinking on a one night stand or anything like that. They will be pleased for you even if it does take them a while to come round!


  • I would just tell them. The chances are that they will react better than you expect, (even if it takes them a few days to get used to the idea). All you can do is give them all the info, and then it is up to them how they are going to react.

    Good luck.
  • congratulations!!! u must be very excited!!
    i think u should tell ur parents exactly what uv just told us!! im sure they wont judge u!!
    im 22 almost 23, h2b is 26 and our parents were over the moon.... even though mum didnt believe me to start with lol.
    i think if they see u r happy and excited they may well react better than if u are not so sure!!

    good luck.... let us know what u decide and let us know how u get on

  • Congratulations!!!
    I found out I was pregnant when I was 24, had been with other half for just over a year and I was terrified to tell my mum and dad but when I did they were so excited and have been the best parents ever throughout the whole thing. Our baby is due tomorrow and now me and my oh couldn't imagine it any other way.

    Good luck, things always work out for the best in the end!
  • Thank you for all your kind messages ladies. I did tell my parents last night and they were really happy.

    However, I sadly woke up to bleeding this morning and my GP has confirmed I am probably having a mc. I am devestated to say the least. Life is cruel sometimes isn't it? Take care of yourselves everyone x
  • Oh Nuksi, I am so sorry to hear that!
    I hope the GP has got it wrong, but if not then I am sure things will work out for you really soon.
    Take good care of yourself, and loads of sticky baby dust!

  • so sorry honey hope he is wrong

  • so sorry to hear, fingers crossed that he is wrong

    take care
    L x
  • Oh hun, I really hope everything turns out ok, get lots of rest and take care of yourself.

    Amy. x
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