Moonandstars,if you are looking for some decent breastfeeding advice that actually shows youwhat to do, Icannot recommend the Kellymom website highly enough:
It's an absolute mine of reliable research based breastfeeding info, I wish health professionals were forced to read it through rather than giving out half assed or inaccurate advice!
In particular if you are looking for practical help with latching and positioning,this is brill:
Make sure you gothrough and click all the links, one or two mightbe broken but there are a lot of good offsite resources linked from Kellymom.
I can also highly recommend 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding' which is published by the La Leche League. It might also be an idea to go along to a local breastfeeding group, I'm sure the breastfeeding mums will be happy to let you watch them latch on and feed so you can get a real feel for how it all happens.
Good luck, if you need help at any point at all the girls onthe BF forum here are brilliant and will support you through any problems. x
Hey moonandstars don't anticipate a problem before you start and ignore everything that says breastfeeding is tough, for some it is but for most it isn't. My LO jumped on the boob 5mins after being born, I never had sore nipples, baby was always satisfied coming off the boob, I always had lots of milk, I have no trouble feeding in public, it's been a cinch! I didn't give it much thought beforehand and let baby lead the way.
I think all this talk of sagging boobs etc is just selfish nonsense and personally I think to disregard breastfeeding without even trying it is a pretty poor commentary on the mothers willingness to put her baby before herself.
I have a question to formula feeding mums, why do some mothers do other things when feeding their baby the bottle? Today I saw a woman in a cafe reading a magazine while feeding her baby, she didn't even look at him but he didn't take his eyes off her, longing for a connection. I have also seen women txting while they feed baby again looking away. Sure breastfeeding mothers sometimes do other things while they feed but the connection is already there physically. Do formula feeding mums see feeding as an emotional experience for their babies in the same way breastfeeding mums do?
maybe not in the same way Dollywotsit - i will never know unfortuantely - but tobys bottles are my fav time of the day - i miss his 4am feed it was our really special time.
I think it must be the same for both bf mummies and bottle feeding mummies - some see it as a chore others dont - some see it as a bonding experience other dont - some see it as a break other dont.
Surely whether you are ff or bf - due the our own uniqueness surely we all see it in different lights. So for one bf or ff mummy to make an assumption for all bf or ff babies is a tad daft?
Dollywotsit - I now FF and I often would do other things when feeding LO, in fact I have 'proped' his bottle up with a muslin for a long time. Sometimes feeding is bonding for us, esp night feeds and his bedtime feed from his daddy but during the day it was not an overly bonding experiance. (From about 12 weeks)
Sorry if that offends anyone I am once again just being honest. Me and LO bond in plenty of others ways, I am hugely patient and enjoying playing with LO all day for example.
I agree though with what you say to moonandstars, BFing for me (although I stopped at 4 weeks due to selfish reasons) was easy, good latch, loads of milk, v satified baby. And it made a person who previously didnt like the idea.....fall in love with it. With my next one I intend to do it for longer but feel v proud that I did it for as long as I did. The main thing......I gave it a go, it did work wonderfully....I chose to stop............and honestly it was for selfish reasons now I look back. I tell everyone it was due to masitis and having the in laws stay and being embarrassed, but they are just excuses as I felt judged but actually I couldnt care less now about being judged as I didnt give myself enough credit for trying something for my LO I had major issues with before. Next time I wont be as embarrassed and will feel proud (since having a baby I have for the first time EVER been with BF mothers who changed my view on the whole thing and made it 'normal')
Good luck with everything and try to stay relaxed about whatever you decide xxxx
Hi Moonandstars, your post is the antithesis to most posts on here!
My 2 best friends took to bf'ing like ducks to water - no problems at all! I was so envious, as I struggled for the first couple of weeks, getting the latch right (baby was getting plenty of milk, but I was so sore!).
Everybody's experience of bf is different - don't expect it to be awful/impossible - but it may not be a walk in the park either! You will only know when baby gets here.
Dollywotsit, I always saw bf'ing as a 'break' for me and a time when I cuddled and fed my baby - especially when I had older children - it became my 'me' time! My time to relax on the sofa. With my 3rd it was sometimes the only time I sat down in the day lol!
Many a time I read a book or watched tv, or typed on babyexpert lol, but I also snuggled, stared at and even napped with baby - so wonderful!
Bf is one of those things that gets easier and better as time goes on. Yes, it may be about soggy breastpads and engorged boobs at first, but give it a few weeks or months even, and this has all settled down. And hey, for me, no washing and sterilising was a massive bonus. It is always there for baby - at the right temp and ready to drink lol!
And I would just like to say again that bf 3 babies did not make my boobs sag!!!! Obviously they are not as pert as when I was 20 - but they are still pretty fab - I was amazed they bounced back so well!!
dollywotsit, not all bf mums sit there bonding with their baby while feeding, I have seen my sil flicking through magazines and watching tv while bf her daughter, I ff and I sit with my daughter in a quiet room, just the two of us and I talk to her and kiss her head while ff and I have the same bonding experience as anybody else with their baby my husband does her bedtime feed with me in the room so its just the three of us. This isn't an attack on bf mums but what I am saying is just because a mother is bf it doesnt mean that they sit gazing into their baby's eyes.
With Ollie I DID sit there gazing at him at 99.9% of the feeds, I took it as my time to relax and watch how happy I made him.
With MJ I didnt get that opportunity much as I always had an Ollie to entertain as well. When Ollie wasn't there i did just watch and stroke her hair, but other than that I was reading to Ollie, talking to him etc...
I loved taking the time to relax with the excuse of feeding
That's so nice!!!!! I don't know anyone very well personally who FFs and my only knowledge of it really is seeing people out and about bottle feeding, and a couple of girls I see through baby groups. I wondered if it was more sort of functionary just because of what I'd seen. It must be lovely for OH to have that time with LO. I don't gaze into LOs eyes every feed but I do give him my total and undivided attention when he's feeding, I feel it's important (that's my preference of course no attack on anyone who doesn't...gotta be so careful these days on here!!!).
I BFed for 9 months and have FFed for the last month. When I was BFing I often watched TV, came on here, texted, played sudoko on my phone during night feeds. With FF (because I'm not an old pro perhaps?!), my attention is 100% on my baby - I don't have enough hands left to do anything else, and he gets too distracted if I do anything else. I feel just as bonded to him bottle feeding as when I breast fed.
Oh, and akaLadyK - you say you stopped BF for selfish reasons. Well, I carried on for selfish reasons! For me it was the easy option - there was really nothing altruistic about it.
To be honest she makes herself sound bad with this article and not breast feeding. If getting tipsy is such an important part of her life she should have stayed childless for a while longer if you ask me.
I am also commenting because some people were on about statistics about bf at 6months in other countries like Sweden, I think you can't compare this as maternity leave is a lot longer and maternity pay higher so people don't have to go back to work so don't have to wean their babies off the breast so soon. I am originally from Germany and you can take 2years off with 60% of your pay so of course you can bf your baby lots longer. Just wanted to mention that as statistics don't tell you those bits
actually shuck, u ????may well ahve a point there (it was me who said about sweden earlier) belgium standard mat leave is just 15weeks and at 6 months they ahvfe but 12% still being breastfed, although more seem to start up or do a bit at the beginning, something like 65% bf at one week, but just 35% in the uk.
Awww, thanks for the words of support everyone. Mrs Setters, I've bookmarked that page and will devour it later!!
To be fair there are breastfeeding get togethers just round the corner from me, which I will go to towards the end of my pregnancy to see what is what. And I also have some positive examples of breastfeeding in some of my friends, and have been pumping them (excuse the pun!) for info.
I don't really see bf as being scary, I have just been surprised with how many magazines and organisations build it up to be this potentially horrendous experience that will scar you for life! I'm sure it's not helpful! I wish there could be a more balance version - like, yes it is hard work and it is something that you have to LEARN, but in most cases it comes together with perseverance. What you seem to get instead are two camps: bf is the easiest most natural thing in the world vs bf is awful and you will fail.
As for the article, I think she is totally barking.
I think the article is a bit odd however I do think there is a stigma attached to bottle feeding. I found bfing difficult and gave up after a couple of days. I know I probably could have tried harder but I didnt really want to. I wanted to enjoy my daughter not dread her wanting to feed. I have read many articles that state that in a developed country the benefits of breast milk over formula milk are minimal so to me I didnt see it as giving my daughter something bad. However I do think if your reasons for not breast feeding are purely sexual then that is unfortunate. I dont find anything creepy about breastfeeding nor would I judge someone for whatever way they choose to feed. I loved feeding my daughter and used to hate other people doing it. Whether it was coming from my breast or a bottle it was still my job!! She would snuggle in to me and it was a lovely bonding experience.
This woman has clearly written the article out of guilt for formula feeding. If she was so happy with her decision why would she feel the need to justify it? She could have written an article about her experience of formula feeding that would have been much more useful. We all have our own reasons for choosing our feeding methods and we need to be happy with them. It doesnt matter what other people think of you if youre doing the best for your child. I would also like to point out that pregnancy has ruined my boobs so dont think that because you dont breastfeed your boobs will stay perfect.
Shuck/wowbaby - how interesting!!! I really do love to see a 'bigger' picture when people spurt stats out and that has really interested me. Well lets hope one day we can move towards that x
Replies
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/index.html
It's an absolute mine of reliable research based breastfeeding info, I wish health professionals were forced to read it through rather than giving out half assed or inaccurate advice!
In particular if you are looking for practical help with latching and positioning,this is brill:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/latch-resources.html
Make sure you gothrough and click all the links, one or two mightbe broken but there are a lot of good offsite resources linked from Kellymom.
I can also highly recommend 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding' which is published by the La Leche League. It might also be an idea to go along to a local breastfeeding group, I'm sure the breastfeeding mums will be happy to let you watch them latch on and feed so you can get a real feel for how it all happens.
Good luck, if you need help at any point at all the girls onthe BF forum here are brilliant and will support you through any problems. x
I think all this talk of sagging boobs etc is just selfish nonsense and personally I think to disregard breastfeeding without even trying it is a pretty poor commentary on the mothers willingness to put her baby before herself.
I have a question to formula feeding mums, why do some mothers do other things when feeding their baby the bottle? Today I saw a woman in a cafe reading a magazine while feeding her baby, she didn't even look at him but he didn't take his eyes off her, longing for a connection. I have also seen women txting while they feed baby again looking away. Sure breastfeeding mothers sometimes do other things while they feed but the connection is already there physically. Do formula feeding mums see feeding as an emotional experience for their babies in the same way breastfeeding mums do?
I think it must be the same for both bf mummies and bottle feeding mummies - some see it as a chore others dont - some see it as a bonding experience other dont - some see it as a break other dont.
Surely whether you are ff or bf - due the our own uniqueness surely we all see it in different lights. So for one bf or ff mummy to make an assumption for all bf or ff babies is a tad daft?
Sorry if that offends anyone I am once again just being honest. Me and LO bond in plenty of others ways, I am hugely patient and enjoying playing with LO all day for example.
I agree though with what you say to moonandstars, BFing for me (although I stopped at 4 weeks due to selfish reasons) was easy, good latch, loads of milk, v satified baby. And it made a person who previously didnt like the idea.....fall in love with it. With my next one I intend to do it for longer but feel v proud that I did it for as long as I did. The main thing......I gave it a go, it did work wonderfully....I chose to stop............and honestly it was for selfish reasons now I look back. I tell everyone it was due to masitis and having the in laws stay and being embarrassed, but they are just excuses as I felt judged but actually I couldnt care less now about being judged as I didnt give myself enough credit for trying something for my LO I had major issues with before. Next time I wont be as embarrassed and will feel proud (since having a baby I have for the first time EVER been with BF mothers who changed my view on the whole thing and made it 'normal')
Good luck with everything and try to stay relaxed about whatever you decide xxxx
My 2 best friends took to bf'ing like ducks to water - no problems at all! I was so envious, as I struggled for the first couple of weeks, getting the latch right (baby was getting plenty of milk, but I was so sore!).
Everybody's experience of bf is different - don't expect it to be awful/impossible - but it may not be a walk in the park either! You will only know when baby gets here.
Dollywotsit, I always saw bf'ing as a 'break' for me and a time when I cuddled and fed my baby - especially when I had older children - it became my 'me' time! My time to relax on the sofa. With my 3rd it was sometimes the only time I sat down in the day lol!
Many a time I read a book or watched tv, or typed on babyexpert lol, but I also snuggled, stared at and even napped with baby - so wonderful!
Bf is one of those things that gets easier and better as time goes on. Yes, it may be about soggy breastpads and engorged boobs at first, but give it a few weeks or months even, and this has all settled down. And hey, for me, no washing and sterilising was a massive bonus. It is always there for baby - at the right temp and ready to drink lol!
And I would just like to say again that bf 3 babies did not make my boobs sag!!!! Obviously they are not as pert as when I was 20 - but they are still pretty fab - I was amazed they bounced back so well!!
xx
With MJ I didnt get that opportunity much as I always had an Ollie to entertain as well. When Ollie wasn't there i did just watch and stroke her hair, but other than that I was reading to Ollie, talking to him etc...
I loved taking the time to relax with the excuse of feeding
xxx
I am also commenting because some people were on about statistics about bf at 6months in other countries like Sweden, I think you can't compare this as maternity leave is a lot longer and maternity pay higher so people don't have to go back to work so don't have to wean their babies off the breast so soon. I am originally from Germany and you can take 2years off with 60% of your pay so of course you can bf your baby lots longer. Just wanted to mention that as statistics don't tell you those bits
To be fair there are breastfeeding get togethers just round the corner from me, which I will go to towards the end of my pregnancy to see what is what. And I also have some positive examples of breastfeeding in some of my friends, and have been pumping them (excuse the pun!) for info.
I don't really see bf as being scary, I have just been surprised with how many magazines and organisations build it up to be this potentially horrendous experience that will scar you for life! I'm sure it's not helpful! I wish there could be a more balance version - like, yes it is hard work and it is something that you have to LEARN, but in most cases it comes together with perseverance. What you seem to get instead are two camps: bf is the easiest most natural thing in the world vs bf is awful and you will fail.
As for the article, I think she is totally barking.
This woman has clearly written the article out of guilt for formula feeding. If she was so happy with her decision why would she feel the need to justify it? She could have written an article about her experience of formula feeding that would have been much more useful. We all have our own reasons for choosing our feeding methods and we need to be happy with them. It doesnt matter what other people think of you if youre doing the best for your child. I would also like to point out that pregnancy has ruined my boobs so dont think that because you dont breastfeed your boobs will stay perfect.