Elsbeth you say you have suffered 5 miscarraiges which is awful and have 3 children, from what you have said you haven't had it easy but have all of these pregnancies been in quick sucession? Were each of them planned? Had you spent months and years talking to your OH about starting/expanding your family? Waiting for the 'right time'?
I totally appreciate what you're saying and personally I didn't start using OPK's etc initially but if I'd have known that 17 months later I would still be trying I would have started from the beginning. I don't think there is anything wrong with maximising chances of conception from the start, I only wish I had done too...
No Broodybeth the pregnancies were not in quick sucession at all, they were over years. Yes all of them were planned and they were hard to deal with, but you know what.. I am a firm believer in the fact that babies come when babies come. Nothing we do will change that, no OV stick saying now is a good time to conceive. If that is not the time for you to become pregnant it won't happen.
The same as I also believe that I lost those babies for a reason, and now have 3 children. All of which have been very tough pregnancies, the last with a chance of putting me in a wheel chair, but it happened, after a miscarraige again, so I do totally understand the need/want to have a baby.. I am not that insensitive a person, actually quite the opposite, as anyone who knows me will vouch for.
I am sorry of anyone took this personally, it was not intended in that way at all.
Oh and for whoever it was that said I must think a womans place is in the home.. erm nope.. hence I am at work whilst talking to you all and have worked since I was 16! Oh and I also never spent 4 weeks flat on my back with my legs in the air either.. I was just lucky that month and I guess it was my time to have a baby whereas the other times I lost my children I guess then wasn't the time.
Elsbeth i think its very noble of you to come on here and defend yourself,if it was me i would have done the same things,obviously things written down be it on paper or the tinternet can be taken how people reading them perceive it
Tink you have to remember how your chav post went with everyone's different opinions etc and i think the same principal are to be added to Elsbeth's post on a different website
It wasn't my intention to offend anyone, but like you say, and I think I did as well, everyone reads things differently and clearly Tink and others read it and thought I was having a pop..when clearly I wasn't as i have explained, with more information than I intended to give about myself.
I have said all i need to say on Cosmo, Elsbeth i dont care what you have to say but i was one of those who TTC and kept a diary on when i OV'ed etc and then lost it all in a house fire so i had nothing for the docs. Maybe stress has caused me not to conceive but i certainly (even though i am not new at TTC) dont need your pity and for you to feel "saddened" by what i used to do. And yes it does include me because like i said i was one of those until the fire. I have no interest in anything you have to say now.
G/C.........If you really don't like what people say on a forum - close your laptop or switch the pc off! Everyone is entitled to an opinion no matter what it is. The has been a lot of problems caused on other forums on BE, with people bringing things over from others sites (inc fb). I suggest keeping it separate from BE.
Elsbeth never intended her comments to appear on BE otherwise she would have written them on here. I don't think it was fair of anyone to bring it up on here so she had to come on this site to defend herself.
If you don't feel the need to use ov kits from day one, don't. I wouldn't feel the need to comment on that as quite frankly it's none of my business!
I personally am very glad I bought a cbfm 2nd cycle as I actually discovered that I ovulated a lot later than I thought so without it I probablely would have been trying for a damn sight longer than necessary. I felt like I was taking charge of my fertility but giving myself a helping hand.
I appreciate that this isn't for everyone but I sure as hell don't expect to be judged for my decisions regarding my body or for it to be presumed that my sex life is clinical.
Tink, I have also kept a diary of my lows, highs and peaks from the start which was actually invaluable when tracking my ovulation after I lost my baby to check my cycles were getting back to normal x x
Elsbeth, I'm not going to write it all out again but please go back and see my post on this thread to see where I stand on this issue, I think its on page 2.
I do have a few things to add following the recent posts. First of all, I of course did read your cosmo thread before responding, I'm not sure why you've assumed that noone has - how else would we have commented on it??
There is no point dumping it all on tink this thread to our attention is completely irrelevant. You posted on a public forum on the internet, so I am in agreement with angel100 - it was very likely to upset someone along the way, whether on the cosmo forum itself or elsewhere.
The point you made about respecting the opinions of the people who joined the cosmo site was laughable - please go and read your replies to their comments to remind yourself, they were certainly not respectful.
I'm not exactly sure why you are ???????really really upset??????? and ???????saddened??????? by all this when it actually has bugger all to do with you how other people choose to ttc.
sorry for the rant, this whole topic just really touched a nerve.
ccbmommy is right if tink hadnt posted about it you wouldnt have known its origin,same goes with anything outwith BE,loads of trouble on other forums from things written on FB
we were all none the wiser to what Elsbeth had posted until tink posted about it,would you have gone to cosmo anyway and would you have brought it over here??
we all have things we disagree on it would be a boring world if we were all the same
ok i've just read back both my posts and I'm just going to explain myself a bit. I never usually get involved in these arguments and purely stick to the "safe" stuff, as I said this topic just touched a nerve. (I also apologise for calling you a stupid woman!)
I can't speak for everyone else but I personally got wound up by this topic because deciding to ttc is a very personal and emotional thing, and I found it a bit difficult to read someone judging and looking down on me for the way i've chosen to do it. (I know you have since said that was not your intention but that is how it came across to a lot of people)
I realise you did not mean to offend anyone by posting what you did, but the fact of the matter is that it did offend and upset people and therefore I personally would have appreciated it if you had acknowledged that and maybe admitted that it wasn't the most sensitive thing to say.
I've read the original thread and as one of 'those women who writes everything down' right from the beginning (I'm only on month 2 of TTC and I'm using fertility friend to chart my temps), I have to say I feel like it's a bit cheeky for someone to judge me and feel 'sad' for me! I'm not assuming something is going to go wrong and neither is lovemaking 'clinical' for me and my husband. We decided to chart from the beginning as I'd spent so long ignoring my body's signals that I wanted to get to know my cycle so that I don't inadvertently drink alcohol or eat something I shouldn't in the very early stages of pregnancy. We don't only make love when I'm ovulating, we make love throughout the month. The plus side is that IF we're unlucky enough to have problems then it'll be quicker and easier to seek a referral as I'll have plenty of information to give my GP. I would never judge anyone for just stopping preventing pregnancy and seeing what happens. I've only been a member of this forum little over a month and I've found all of the ladies here to be so friendly and supportive and non-judgemental. Long may this forum continue in that vein! Sending lots of baby dust to all whether you're charting, CBFM'ing or just having lots of hot sex all month round!! )
FFS women...how many times do I need to say I didn't mean to offend anyone and that I wasn't judging anyone.. I was simply talking about an issue that was mentioned on the forum. Talk about uptight. I'm sorry but I am getting a touch pissed off with the holier than thou attitude about it all tbh. So I upset you.. don't bloody read it if you don't like it. At least I had the damn curtosy to come and try and explain. This fecking forum never changes.
I was well within my rights to say what I thought about something that is written on a public forum.. not even in a TTC section as we don't have one. Fair enough if you think it helps., I'm not pitying anyone tbh. I don't feel sad for the individual that they feel the need to do it, I feel sad that it has come to charts and oV sticks and all that shit nowadays rather then just leaving it to nature.
As i have explained I have been through the mill with regards to conceiving myself so I fully understand but no...all you are doing is thinking I am having a pop.. well I wasn't.
Tink...as for not being interested in anything I have to say..good, maybein future you will stay out of pregnancy and parenting and then I can't dam well offend you for having an opinion on something.
Dont worry Elsbeth i wont be back on there. I am going to stay on "planet reproduction" and "group hug everyone and carry on buying my thermometers in bulk" goodbye
Ok I never originally commented about this post but I do think that you Elsbeth have no right coming on here and telling people where they can and can't go love unless of course you own COSMO!! which I very much doubt!!
Anyway no trolls allowed on here so push on love!!
Replies
I totally appreciate what you're saying and personally I didn't start using OPK's etc initially but if I'd have known that 17 months later I would still be trying I would have started from the beginning. I don't think there is anything wrong with maximising chances of conception from the start, I only wish I had done too...
The same as I also believe that I lost those babies for a reason, and now have 3 children. All of which have been very tough pregnancies, the last with a chance of putting me in a wheel chair, but it happened, after a miscarraige again, so I do totally understand the need/want to have a baby.. I am not that insensitive a person, actually quite the opposite, as anyone who knows me will vouch for.
I am sorry of anyone took this personally, it was not intended in that way at all.
Oh and for whoever it was that said I must think a womans place is in the home.. erm nope.. hence I am at work whilst talking to you all and have worked since I was 16!
Oh and I also never spent 4 weeks flat on my back with my legs in the air either.. I was just lucky that month and I guess it was my time to have a baby whereas the other times I lost my children I guess then wasn't the time.
Tink you have to remember how your chav post went with everyone's different opinions etc and i think the same principal are to be added to Elsbeth's post on a different website
It wasn't my intention to offend anyone, but like you say, and I think I did as well, everyone reads things differently and clearly Tink and others read it and thought I was having a pop..when clearly I wasn't as i have explained, with more information than I intended to give about myself.
its good that you have come on and explained yourself and by the way it was meant and i hope people can respect that x
[Modified by: grudie on December 12, 2009 08:54 PM]
Elsbeth never intended her comments to appear on BE otherwise she would have written them on here. I don't think it was fair of anyone to bring it up on here so she had to come on this site to defend herself.
If you don't feel the need to use ov kits from day one, don't. I wouldn't feel the need to comment on that as quite frankly it's none of my business!
I personally am very glad I bought a cbfm 2nd cycle as I actually discovered that I ovulated a lot later than I thought so without it I probablely would have been trying for a damn sight longer than necessary. I felt like I was taking charge of my fertility but giving myself a helping hand.
I appreciate that this isn't for everyone but I sure as hell don't expect to be judged for my decisions regarding my body or for it to be presumed that my sex life is clinical.
Tink, I have also kept a diary of my lows, highs and peaks from the start which was actually invaluable when tracking my ovulation after I lost my baby to check my cycles were getting back to normal x x
I'm not going to write it all out again but please go back and see my post on this thread to see where I stand on this issue, I think its on page 2.
I do have a few things to add following the recent posts.
First of all, I of course did read your cosmo thread before responding, I'm not sure why you've assumed that noone has - how else would we have commented on it??
There is no point dumping it all on tink this thread to our attention is completely irrelevant. You posted on a public forum on the internet, so I am in agreement with angel100 - it was very likely to upset someone along the way, whether on the cosmo forum itself or elsewhere.
The point you made about respecting the opinions of the people who joined the cosmo site was laughable - please go and
read your replies to their comments to remind yourself, they were certainly not respectful.
I'm not exactly sure why you are ???????really really upset??????? and ???????saddened??????? by all this when it actually has bugger all to do with you how other people choose to ttc.
sorry for the rant, this whole topic just really touched a nerve.
we were all none the wiser to what Elsbeth had posted until tink posted about it,would you have gone to cosmo anyway and would you have brought it over here??
we all have things we disagree on it would be a boring world if we were all the same
I can't speak for everyone else but I personally got wound up by this topic because deciding to ttc is a very personal and emotional thing, and I found it a bit difficult to read someone judging and looking down on me for the way i've chosen to do it. (I know you have since said that was not your intention but that is how it came across to a lot of people)
I realise you did not mean to offend anyone by posting what you did, but the fact of the matter is that it did offend and upset people and therefore I personally would have appreciated it if you had acknowledged that and maybe admitted that it wasn't the most sensitive thing to say.
I'm not assuming something is going to go wrong and neither is lovemaking 'clinical' for me and my husband. We decided to chart from the beginning as I'd spent so long ignoring my body's signals that I wanted to get to know my cycle so that I don't inadvertently drink alcohol or eat something I shouldn't in the very early stages of pregnancy. We don't only make love when I'm ovulating, we make love throughout the month.
The plus side is that IF we're unlucky enough to have problems then it'll be quicker and easier to seek a referral as I'll have plenty of information to give my GP.
I would never judge anyone for just stopping preventing pregnancy and seeing what happens. I've only been a member of this forum little over a month and I've found all of the ladies here to be so friendly and supportive and non-judgemental. Long may this forum continue in that vein!
Sending lots of baby dust to all whether you're charting, CBFM'ing or just having lots of hot sex all month round!!
xx
I'm sorry but I am getting a touch pissed off with the holier than thou attitude about it all tbh. So I upset you.. don't bloody read it if you don't like it. At least I had the damn curtosy to come and try and explain. This fecking forum never changes.
I was well within my rights to say what I thought about something that is written on a public forum.. not even in a TTC section as we don't have one.
Fair enough if you think it helps., I'm not pitying anyone tbh. I don't feel sad for the individual that they feel the need to do it, I feel sad that it has come to charts and oV sticks and all that shit nowadays rather then just leaving it to nature.
As i have explained I have been through the mill with regards to conceiving myself so I fully understand but no...all you are doing is thinking I am having a pop.. well I wasn't.
Tink...as for not being interested in anything I have to say..good, maybein future you will stay out of pregnancy and parenting and then I can't dam well offend you for having an opinion on something.
goodbye
Anyway no trolls allowed on here so push on love!!