Lillian hope you’re feeling better today. I think men just arent as mentally strong as us. If something gets tricky they don’t persevere like we do. We tend to put the children first and keep trying whereas men would rather do whatever is the easier option for them. Do you still feel he’s a bit depressed?
DIzzy I don’t think another would cost that much. You will already have most things you need. Although if money is tight you would no doubt have a girl so you couldn’t use your clothes again . It’s always hard to know when is the right time as I suppose there is no perfect time.
I think he is depressed but he won’t talk to me about it. I asked him if hes ever happy and he said yeah but Then wouldn’t tell me when. I hope it’s just a phase, we’ve got some really exciting prospects in the coming months espcially with his work that he seems excited for I just hope it all materialises for him So he gets some excitement.
I spoke to oh this evening about it and he doesn’t see anything bad with a 4 year gap but said it depends how things go. It’s nice in a way to know he’s coming round to the idea of having another child as a while ago he was no full stop.
Yes will definitely struggle financially as he is getting barely any maintaince loan and I don’t earn anywhere near enough For both of us.
Hows today been Lillian? I do think men struggle with talking. Do you think he feels embarrassed if ollie kicks off?
Think we all go through rough phases bbe me and my oh definetly have since we've had the boys. Fingers crossed you whatever prospects you have coming your way. I'm so nervous for my interview on Tuesday hope it goes okay cnt wait to sink my teeth into a different career xxx
I'm okay thanks Louise I'm just tired I'm at work after tonight right through til Fri morning and I've got my interview on Tuesday afternoon for my general nursing. I hope Charlie is okay bbe we went to tubby bears earlier and Charlie really loved it this time
Cnt you get any support at all in terms of benefits bbe?? That's the only worry I have is the fact that I'm going to be cutting my wages down and atm we live quite comfortably.
I was going to take Charlie to tubby bears this morning then changed my mind at the last minute! Oh I wish I'd gone - it would have been so nice to bump into you!! Charlie likes Hickory Dickorys and chucklebutties but we haven't tried tubbys yet. Have they still got the little ones play area at the side? Good luck for your interview . You will be bound to be nervous but you will do great!!
Lillian I hope everything falls into place with hubbys work. I'm sure It's just a phase .
Dizzy it's the best time to struggle financially when they're little as they don't need expensive clothes and expensive school trips etc. As long as they've got somewhere warm to live , some food and a cuddle they're fine 😀
We are getting about 9000 in maintenance loan plus childcare on top because it only goes on your partners wage from 2016/2017 so it would be your wages and not his is that how you’ve done it ?
yeah he does get embrassed when he kicks off and just impatient with me
I thought it was done on wages aswell but they obviously think I earn too much. as long as we can pay the bills we’ll be Okay, but the loan won’t cover oh’s share so to speak and my wage doesn’t cover bills. Hopefully it’ll get sorted, he’s gonna ring up as he hasn’t got the parental loan part. We don’t get the childcare as (thankfully) our mums have J. Doesn’t help this is all just as I’m back at work.
Aww dizzy it is stressful on all the paper work it says not to include the students earnings as they won’t be earning and when I rang them up and spoke to someone they said it doesn’t include my earnings just OH, which makes sense because they can’t take into account a wage you haven’t got
Ladies i just need someone to talk to I cn honestly say I've never felt so miserable in my life. I feel like atm there's no passion between me and my oh at all it's almost like we're friends we barely have sex anymore and we're constantly snapping at each other. I feel like I do everything in the house and look after the boys whereas he does nothing he leaves me to get the boys ready and I do all the changes atm. Today really pissed me off he left ollys shoe in the porch overnight with dog shit on it and forgot to tell me so you cn imagine how hard it was today and he hasn't helped me at all with them then has the nerve to say it's me that doesn't spend enough time with them. My mum rang me and I told her sometimes I contemplate what life would be like as a single parent please tell me someone else has been through this and we can survive it
Kayleigh please don’t worry. I think you’ve just described everybody with children’s relationship. I know me and my hubby nag at each other all the time. We just remember that we don’t really mean it and that we are just tired and a bit fed up sometimes. Life with children is so very rewarding but also very hard. It will get easier as they get older and less dependent. Big hugs xx I thought you might be a bit down as you’d not been on much. I think we are all struggling on here but that just shows how normal it is.
Aww Kayleigh sending big hugs i think men are just oblivious to things we do. Since being home I’ve washed all the clothes put everything away he hasn’t lifted a finger but his golf clubs are in the hallway we shall see how long they stay there for. i Always ask my other half to do thing like get Ollie dressed or feed him and if he says why can’t you or what ever then I real Off the thousand Things I’ve done more than him. Maybe you could sit down and talk to him about it day your always doing things you have to do with the boys cuz he doesn’t help and so you have no time for fun things
My other half tried telling me how he felt this morning but as soon as I said he’s depressed he doesn’t want to know. I said just because you dont want to be depessed doesn’t mean your not. He was saying how hes just unhappy with himself and I told him only he can sort that out, I lead a really healthy life style but he makes wrong choices and he’s to lazy to make lunch or whatever and I said to him there’s nothing I can do and living with You at the moment is not fun so you need to do something about it, talk to someone or just change what you don’t Like. We shall see if he does I guess.
I just feel Completely unappreciated I do everything in the bloody house I went for a nap earlier because I'm working til 12 tonight and I got up at 4 he hadnt even started tea or changed the boys or anything i put tea on changed their bums and he disappeared for ages turns out he was asleep on ollys bed. I'm just so fed up guys I said tonight our relationship needs some serious tlc and he just mmm at me do I just come out and say I'm fucking miserable atm?
Its nice to know everyone else has times like this but I just hope it's something we can come back from I do sometimes find myself thinking would I be better off alone
I always think imagine if the boys were grown up and left home. Would you still like to live with your Oh if it was just the two of you again. If the answer is yes then it's worth sticking with xx
Hope you’re okay mummytooandc. Have you had a chance to speak to oh. I often feel the same especially when stressong with things and oh is just watching the football.
Thanks lillian, I’ll get him to check tomorrow I think. Hopefully place gets confirmed tomorrow 🤞🏼
Louise I think I would it just seems like we've grown distant from another and that we're more friends than anything else atm like I said we barely have a sex life and we hardly see each other with working opposite shifts and when we do like today it's just bloody awful.
Replies
Lillian hope you’re feeling better today. I think men just arent as mentally strong as us. If something gets tricky they don’t persevere like we do. We tend to put the children first and keep trying whereas men would rather do whatever is the easier option for them. Do you still feel he’s a bit depressed?
DIzzy I don’t think another would cost that much. You will already have most things you need. Although if money is tight you would no doubt have a girl so you couldn’t use your clothes again . It’s always hard to know when is the right time as I suppose there is no perfect time.
Hi ladies hope youre okay dizzy have you tried talking to your oh? I cn imagine him going to uni will stretch your finances a little bit won't it.
Louise glad you decided to try again fingers crossed you don't have to wait to long
Thank you Kayleigh. Hope you're ok xx
I think he is depressed but he won’t talk to me about it. I asked him if hes ever happy and he said yeah but Then wouldn’t tell me when. I hope it’s just a phase, we’ve got some really exciting prospects in the coming months espcially with his work that he seems excited for I just hope it all materialises for him So he gets some excitement.
I spoke to oh this evening about it and he doesn’t see anything bad with a 4 year gap but said it depends how things go. It’s nice in a way to know he’s coming round to the idea of having another child as a while ago he was no full stop.
Yes will definitely struggle financially as he is getting barely any maintaince loan and I don’t earn anywhere near enough For both of us.
Hows today been Lillian? I do think men struggle with talking. Do you think he feels embarrassed if ollie kicks off?
Think we all go through rough phases bbe me and my oh definetly have since we've had the boys. Fingers crossed you whatever prospects you have coming your way. I'm so nervous for my interview on Tuesday hope it goes okay
cnt wait to sink my teeth into a different career xxx
I'm okay thanks Louise I'm just tired I'm at work after tonight right through til Fri morning and I've got my interview on Tuesday afternoon for my general nursing. I hope Charlie is okay bbe
we went to tubby bears earlier and Charlie really loved it this time
Cnt you get any support at all in terms of benefits bbe?? That's the only worry I have is the fact that I'm going to be cutting my wages down and atm we live quite comfortably.
I was going to take Charlie to tubby bears this morning then changed my mind at the last minute! Oh I wish I'd gone - it would have been so nice to bump into you!! Charlie likes Hickory Dickorys and chucklebutties but we haven't tried tubbys yet. Have they still got the little ones play area at the side? Good luck for your interview . You will be bound to be nervous but you will do great!!
Lillian I hope everything falls into place with hubbys work. I'm sure It's just a phase .
Dizzy it's the best time to struggle financially when they're little as they don't need expensive clothes and expensive school trips etc. As long as they've got somewhere warm to live , some food and a cuddle they're fine 😀
We are getting about 9000 in maintenance loan plus childcare on top because it only goes on your partners wage from 2016/2017 so it would be your wages and not his is that how you’ve done it ?
yeah he does get embrassed when he kicks off and just impatient with me
I thought it was done on wages aswell but they obviously think I earn too much. as long as we can pay the bills we’ll be Okay, but the loan won’t cover oh’s share so to speak and my wage doesn’t cover bills. Hopefully it’ll get sorted, he’s gonna ring up as he hasn’t got the parental loan part. We don’t get the childcare as (thankfully) our mums have J. Doesn’t help this is all just as I’m back at work.
Aww dizzy it is stressful on all the paper work it says not to include the students earnings as they won’t be earning and when I rang them up and spoke to someone they said it doesn’t include my earnings just OH, which makes sense because they can’t take into account a wage you haven’t got
Hope this helps
Ladies i just need someone to talk to I cn honestly say I've never felt so miserable in my life. I feel like atm there's no passion between me and my oh at all it's almost like we're friends we barely have sex anymore and we're constantly snapping at each other. I feel like I do everything in the house and look after the boys whereas he does nothing he leaves me to get the boys ready and I do all the changes atm. Today really pissed me off he left ollys shoe in the porch overnight with dog shit on it and forgot to tell me so you cn imagine how hard it was today and he hasn't helped me at all with them then has the nerve to say it's me that doesn't spend enough time with them. My mum rang me and I told her sometimes I contemplate what life would be like as a single parent please tell me someone else has been through this and we can survive it
Kayleigh please don’t worry. I think you’ve just described everybody with children’s relationship. I know me and my hubby nag at each other all the time. We just remember that we don’t really mean it and that we are just tired and a bit fed up sometimes. Life with children is so very rewarding but also very hard. It will get easier as they get older and less dependent. Big hugs xx I thought you might be a bit down as you’d not been on much. I think we are all struggling on here but that just shows how normal it is.
Aww Kayleigh sending big hugs i think men are just oblivious to things we do. Since being home I’ve washed all the clothes put everything away he hasn’t lifted a finger but his golf clubs are in the hallway we shall see how long they stay there for. i Always ask my other half to do thing like get Ollie dressed or feed him and if he says why can’t you or what ever then I real Off the thousand Things I’ve done more than him. Maybe you could sit down and talk to him about it day your always doing things you have to do with the boys cuz he doesn’t help and so you have no time for fun things
My other half tried telling me how he felt this morning but as soon as I said he’s depressed he doesn’t want to know. I said just because you dont want to be depessed doesn’t mean your not. He was saying how hes just unhappy with himself and I told him only he can sort that out, I lead a really healthy life style but he makes wrong choices and he’s to lazy to make lunch or whatever and I said to him there’s nothing I can do and living with You at the moment is not fun so you need to do something about it, talk to someone or just change what you don’t Like. We shall see if he does I guess.
I just feel Completely unappreciated I do everything in the bloody house I went for a nap earlier because I'm working til 12 tonight and I got up at 4 he hadnt even started tea or changed the boys or anything i put tea on changed their bums and he disappeared for ages turns out he was asleep on ollys bed. I'm just so fed up guys I said tonight our relationship needs some serious tlc and he just mmm at me do I just come out and say I'm fucking miserable atm?
Its nice to know everyone else has times like this but I just hope it's something we can come back from I do sometimes find myself thinking would I be better off alone
I always think imagine if the boys were grown up and left home. Would you still like to live with your Oh if it was just the two of you again. If the answer is yes then it's worth sticking with xx
Hope you’re okay mummytooandc. Have you had a chance to speak to oh. I often feel the same especially when stressong with things and oh is just watching the football.
Thanks lillian, I’ll get him to check tomorrow I think. Hopefully place gets confirmed tomorrow 🤞🏼
Louise I think I would it just seems like we've grown distant from another and that we're more friends than anything else atm like I said we barely have a sex life and we hardly see each other with working opposite shifts and when we do like today it's just bloody awful.
Dizzy it's nice to know its not just me